My daughter and i used to live with my parents now we move out into an apt. and her dad is living with us now. he is always trying to do things with her like take her fishing or what ever it is that she may want. but she does not want to let him do anything for her. she will not even accept a cup of juice from him if he fixes it for her. she does not like for him to even touch her she wants me to do everything for her. i have never seen my child like this. she is turning into a very hateful little girl. any suggestions? PLEASE!!!
2006-07-06 05:04:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
First a child that age has no idea what "HATE" is. She is not use to him and he may be trying to hard. Children need people they can trust around them. If he has not been around he will have to earn her trust back. The best thing he can do is get on her level with playing, if she doesn't want to play then so be it. He cannot take it personally, she is a child. It will take time, she needs to feel secure and like he is someone she can trust before she will allow him in. He needs to have patience and back off a bit. She is not hateful, she is innocent and a child that doesn't obviously know her dad well yet.
2006-07-06 08:27:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's very understandable that you're concerned.
First , lets make it clear : Kids do'nt hate ! They may say so or act that way but that's not what they mean. Example : A grandma use to babysit her granddaughter every day till she went into primary. As the girl went to primary the grandma took on a job & therefore saw less of the grand daughter. The next thing that happens is ,When the grandma visits her she says she hates her & dose'nt want to talk to her.
The grandma understood right away that it's not hatred, rather anger a t that the grandma left her !
The next thing she did was tell the child, Listen dear : I understand your upset about are separation, BUT I WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK OR SAY !
Least to say is, all worked out fine.
The same with you, just with a 2 yr old you ca'nt talk that way.
There are a few questins for you to confront : Is the dad acting like a dad or a friend? Is he assertive yet loving , or insecure in the relationship with the child & therefore spoiling the child & doing what ever she wants?
Hope this helps you. Lots of luck.
2006-07-06 05:24:55 · answer #2 · answered by happy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this the first time she's interacting with her father??? If so, you have to give it some time. Kids are very sensitive and she may be a little jealous of him or protective of you. Everything should work out in the long run if you give it some time and remember that she's just a child.
I think you should force interaction between the two of them. If she wants some juice and she refuses to take it from him, don't give her a choice. I believe you may be unintentionally making the process harder by getting her things. But that's your motherly instincts. Try not giving her a choice. She eill scream, cry and throw tantrums but if she has to take a drink from him or be thirsty, I bet she'll take the drink.
Good luck!
2006-07-06 05:34:16 · answer #3 · answered by s_sill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is having to share you with another person and she doesn't like it - she is used to having your affection to herself. Don't worry coz she will come round. If her dad makes her juice and she refuses to accept it don't make it again yourself or make a big deal out of it. Just explain that if she is thirsty there is juice ready for her to drink. Also tell dad not to get too upset or frustrated, she just needs time and patience to adjust to her new situation. If you are united and calm she will realise that the situation is not going to change, and she should feel more stable and willing to accept it.
2006-07-06 05:15:13 · answer #4 · answered by bertha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm why is the father not live with you guys??? and now move to apt and now father living with you and your daughter. I think she not happy movoing out of yoru family home. and I think she knows what going on ....... Just ask what she want for her daddy to do? maybe need to find out something we don't know what in your child head.
I would ask more question do you remember your daddy? why not happy with daddy, stuff like that. My daughter love me to death she is 3 years old and I am always around and being there for her. maybe that becaue father was never around.....when she was born. don't know what happen between you and your husband???
2006-07-06 06:01:02 · answer #5 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you know he is not abusing her then just tell him to give the child time to get to know him and if she will not take a glass of juice from him then let her see him set it down where she can reach it. and reassure her it's ok. some children are very shy and do not except change easy.. don't rush her or you may regret it later
2006-07-06 05:18:44 · answer #6 · answered by montanamom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your daughter. If she feels uncomfortable with her dad, don't force a relationship on her with dad. Let things happen slowely, and try to talk to her and find out what she's scared of or is not wanting.
2006-07-06 05:38:18 · answer #7 · answered by amyvnsn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not force the child to like anyone ever!! but if u want go on a vacation in the weekend and leave the girl wid her dad call up wen the girl is asleep ask wheter the girl is fine and ask if ur husband is fine too!!! if this doesnt work speak sternly to your daughter about this or if doesnt work too spank her!!! .......if ol this doenst work i would suggest getting a psychologist
2006-07-12 20:46:29 · answer #8 · answered by KID 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she like this with anyone else, or its just him? Don't worry, most of the children have this attitude with someone they are not very familiar with. Remember, she hasn't been living with him in the past, that's the reason. As she grows older, she will take a liking to him.
2006-07-06 05:12:16 · answer #9 · answered by NchantingPrincess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's probably so used to having you to herself. Try and get her used to him, gradually. Tell her lots of good things about her daddy (when you're alone). Make her believe he's the best thing in the world. Don't push her though. It might defeat the purpose.
2006-07-06 05:12:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋