I know I am proably going to be mauled for asking this. I got pregnant when I was 19 and made the tough decision not to have the baby. I take full responsibility for this action and I know I was taking out my mistake on somebody who didn't deserve it. I now have another child who is 9 months old. He is my world and my shining light little boy. I love him so much but I still have a lot of guilt over the first baby that I would have had. I don't think I ever had the chance to grieve for this, not that I deserve to. Has anybody gone through this? I have spoken to some other people who did it the other way around..had kids and then got pregnant again but didn't have the baby. I know I have to live with it but I'd like to know if there are any other women who went through the same thing.
2006-07-06 04:53:11 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
It was six weeks along...I didn't have any option in my mind. I didn't have a aplace to live or any support system. Btw, it has almost been three years since, I'm 22 now with my own apartment and the ability to buy things for my son.
2006-07-06 06:40:52 · update #1
sweetie, first , i am so sorry, and i do understand, i was 17 years old and my parents made me have an abortion, i did not want one, and i faught till the last min. to keep my baby, i did not know there were food stamps, wic, and welfair out there for single parents, i grew up in a very strick christian home, not to say there is anything wrong with that , but they took it a little to far! we all make mistakes, and that one almost drove me crazy, i got married and had a son 8 years latter, i felt i was being punished because it took such a long time. even after i got my sweet son , i felt like i did not deserve him and i thought GOD was mad at me for years even though i had ask him to forgive me.now i have gone through this class at www. healinghearts.org it is hard to do, but i am finally at peace:) there is life after abortion! please go to the sight, you will find many people just like ourselfs, trust me, you will feel much better.good luck and GOD BLESS...OH, feel free to e-mail me if you like.
2006-07-06 05:33:45 · answer #1 · answered by reann4239 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey it's no big deal. Lemme tell you a story...
Once upon a time, 16 years ago, my dear mother gave me birth. I ment the world to her... Then, my mother got pregnant an year after I was living with her and my dad. She didn't want the baby YET, so she aborted. Then it happened again, and she aborted again. Knowing that this may happen again and again in the wrong moment, she decided to have this putten inside her vigina to make sure this wouldn't happen unpredictably ever again. Then, when I was around 4 and a half years old, she realized it was time to bring another person in the family. So she got that thingy removed, got pregnant and gave birth to my little sister when I was 5 and a half. But I didn't know about those two abortions she made untill a few months ago when we were discussing my Human Sexuality class together. She didn't seem to be too guilty about it. The way I saw it was: she made a choice she thought was right. That's why there is no reason my mother should feel guilty about it and why you should be guilty about your abortion.
Hope I helped.
2006-07-06 12:07:03 · answer #2 · answered by brother from QG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest talking to someone at a Focus on the Family (1-800-A-FAMILY). They have a lot of material about abortion recovery. Also, a lot of crisis pregnancy centers have information or groups for women who are grieving past abortions.
2006-07-07 01:28:26 · answer #3 · answered by Sylvia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your reaction is common. Now that you have a child that you love and care for, you're wondering what you missed out on when you aborted first pregnancy. Your feelings are quite reasonable. You will always remember it, but you will move on. Love the child you have and be the best mom you can.
2006-07-06 12:02:44 · answer #4 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first was not a baby yet..unless of course you aborted later in pregnancy so there is nothing to feel guilty about. You did the right thing for YOU.
2006-07-06 11:57:51 · answer #5 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didnt go threw it but anyway well in a way i kind of think i have your piont about the frist baby maybe u wasnt ready and maybe u knew that u couldnot take care of it or it could be somthing ealse i dont know but u have to think your baby is now in heaven where it is to be surely took care of but i kind of think that u still wounder what have it been like if i keep it right well i hope u the very best of your life
2006-07-09 13:05:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my sister did. and everytime she sees the guy who would of been the dad she feels bad ,well for him.sometimes she tells me how the baby would of been 1 or2 yrs old. she now has another baby.
But besides that i would know how to help i kept all my pregnancy. just try not to think about it as much. And enjoy the time you have with the baby you have right now.
2006-07-06 12:00:29 · answer #7 · answered by you_me_set 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to someone that you trust to grieve over your choice of abortion. You can't continue to fight the feelings of guilt. Please talk to someone so you can continue to be a good mom to your son.
2006-07-06 12:00:25 · answer #8 · answered by Brandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all make mistakes....you, me and everybody.
if you're a catholic, you need to talk to a priest and ask for forgiveness and penance (so you can have the Sacrament of Reconcilliation) God Bless You and your baby!
2006-07-06 12:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by ren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋