Ok. I've known my bf for almost 7yrs, we were friends at first but starting dating like 4yrs years after. 1yrs into the relationship he found out that his so-called ex was 8mths pregnant with his child. We abviously broke up!!! i hadn't spoken to him for 10mths , then out of blue he calls me and says he wants me back. he said that he never loved her but he loved me and wants to make it work.
I love him but i don't know if he is really broken up with his Baby's Mama!!!
2006-07-06 04:17:57 · 43 answers · asked by virgin_n_vodka 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he cheated on you once, he'll do it again. Move on. Sounds like he cheated on her with you, too. He's a cheater. Won't change.
2006-07-06 04:19:40 · answer #1 · answered by locolady98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This description is not complete enough for someone to give whole advice on whether or not you should reconsider a relationship for him. My first worry is why you didn't speak for 10 months after the discovery. Was it his decision or yours? If it was yours, it seems silly, if it was his, it's still silly and seems like this relationship should not happen because after being friends for so long, I would think the friendship would be valued enough to be needed. Especially at a time when he is experiencing an unexpected pregnancy. It's not an easy thing to handle. Second worry... was there any doubt the baby was his, and if there was, were there steps taken to be sure he was responsible for the child? Third. If he does accept responsibility for the child and wish to be the child's father, how is the relationship with the child going to relate to his relationship with you? Are you going to be a step-mother to this child? This is a very complicated situation that needs to be handled delicately. I'd like to hear some more information on this, and then I would feel more comfortable handing out advice.
2006-07-06 04:29:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this question: do you really love him? Got news for you, in a relationship love isn't the main ingredient. Ask your grand ma about her favourite recipe, you'll see. Love is an emotion, you do not have to respond to this emotion just because someone else demands it. The fact that he sounds convincing doesn't mean he's going to follow through. It seems like too much of a problem. Make an effort to trim things down. Be more discerning when it comes to your feelings, yes every emotion is valid but not every emotion needs to be acted upon. Do not ask to your heart the wrong question, you are already troubled, isn't it enough evidence yet. Or you just need a bit of attention to play the victim. Have some integrity and walk out of it with dignity and self respect.
2006-07-07 01:47:34 · answer #3 · answered by Rocha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not he's still attached to the baby's mama, he now has a child in his life. This is a guy with some baggage. If you're willing to consider this relationship, or reconsider it, take it slooooow at first. Get to know each other again. Get to know his child and gauge the relationship between him, his child, and the ex. If you step into this situation, you will need to deal with his new responsibilities and accept them too. If you get a good vibe and your feelings for each other are still there, go for it. If you see red flags going up, close this chapter of your life and move on.
2006-07-06 04:24:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have a serious talk with him just to make sure that he is not a player or anything like that. You want a trustworthy guy that won't break your heart again. I believe that if you really love him, then sure, go out with him again, but just beware of what he has done to you in the past and that your relationship shouldn't be taken to seriously. If you don't love him that much, then dump him and find another man that will treat you with respect and will not cheat on you. Hope this helps!!
2006-07-06 04:22:31 · answer #5 · answered by ecko_baby25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would first find out what kind of relationship he is in with his baby's mom. I personally would NEVER date a man who has a child with another woman because for the rest of his life, he will be paying money to support this child (if he is a good moral man) and also he ALSO - you were DATING him when she became PREGNANT!
I would tell him to leave you alone and be a man and stay with his family that he made.
2006-07-06 04:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by denise m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date him but dont have sex for 6 months. Why? Because if he's just wanting new pussy and you are the only one who showed interest....he'd get sick of waiting eventually and go back to his missus (that would be better for the child) or if he is inlove with you....he'll just enjoy your time together and cant stay away.
If she was 8 months pregnant and you dated for a year...that means he cheated on you 3 months in....so its fairly obvious he wasnt inlove with you at that time. Perhaps Daddyhood is scaring him silly and he wants to have his freedom again and YOU are the easiest out? I wouldnt take that as love but just horny and looking around.
2006-07-06 04:25:56 · answer #7 · answered by Scully 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is always going to be some contact with the babies momma up until the baby is 18 after that maybe none. give him one more try but let hiim know u want be 2nd to none. ok This is his last chance black_mother_california@yahoo.com. I have plenty of experience in relationships. been married for 29 years same man lol
2006-07-06 04:25:00 · answer #8 · answered by Ruth H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you still love him? There is a reason you haven't moved on and if love has held you back, you have to address it. Many people are sexually immature and end up as very mismatched parents. But true love deserve a chance, and once you have explored the possibilities, love will take you higher or help you leave him alone. Trust your heart and your head!
2006-07-06 04:26:53 · answer #9 · answered by Worshiper44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT! he's a cheater and once a cheater always a cheater. He will not change, take it from some one who knows. I have played the waiting game, waiting for a man to be faithful when he is never going to be faithful is a wast of your precious time. Get out wile you still have your dignity and find some one who Will appreciate you for the woman you are.
2006-07-06 04:31:46 · answer #10 · answered by Nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the guys out there are gonna hate me but listen it sounds like you need to move on. From a guys perspective if you guys were together for a year and he got someone else pregnant then who knows what he might do if you take him back. If you take him back he will believe that he can do what he wants and you'll be there.
2006-07-06 04:22:55 · answer #11 · answered by ACJunior 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋