I started dating my bf 4 months ago and now he lives with me. my parents met him a while ago and my dad refused to talk to him. my mom acted all nice, but then said bad things about him behind his back, like how I would end up paying for his baby son's food and clothes , how he probably has a woman in every country he's ever been to, etc and was I with him as an assignment for the government? (as if i would whore myself out for a job (um. a job that i don't have!!! or want!). Recently we asked them for a favor that would save us $1500/year and they said no (basically because they didn't want to be associated with a Muslim) We are in love and we want to get married in a couple years, but they are pretty much refusing to accept him, like they only invite ME to visit etc. I don't want to believe that they are being racist or stereotyping him because he' s Muslim, but their actions are speaking really loudly. I don't want to choose between them or him, what to do?
2006-07-06 03:52:43 · 9 answers · asked by rollarcoaster brain 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your parents have probably had the big dream of what your life was going to be from the minute you were born.. Marrying a Muslim man was prob.. not one of them.. it might take awhile to adjust.. and Americans these days don't have the best perspective of Muslims..they jump to the wrong conclusion.. If your not Muslim yourself yet, they are also swallowing the fact that you may someday convert to the Muslim religion.. You should sit them down and openly talk about your relationship with your boyfriend, and hear them out on their concerns. but before you start talking make sure they understand that you are not going to sit down and tolerate any hateful or racial comments about him or the Muslim religion... If they are still set on not supporting this relationship you need to do what is right for you.. Don't ever live your life for other people you will end up regretting it down the road.. do what makes you happy and your life will be filled with lots of love and happiness.. Good Luck and just be patient
2006-07-06 04:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
DING DONG!!! Hello, anyone in there?? Your parents are racist towards muslim as is a majority of Americans. Justifiably so. Remember the old saying: It only takes one bad apple to ruin the bunch? Tell your little boyfriend that his life in America is going to be forever harder because several people of his ethnicity decided to kill several hundred Innocent Americans. If he doesn't realize this by now then he is just as naive as you are thinking your parents are out to destroy your life because your little young *** wants to run off and get married after being with someone for four months. Do your family and the rest of the world a favor and grow the hell up. Good luck though. Oh, and if you are still too ignorant to see the truth, just have Akmed strap dynamite to his chest walk into your parents home and suicide bomb his way into heaven.
2006-07-06 11:01:35 · answer #2 · answered by poor_student 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, honey, that's what you are going to have to do. It will always come down to what is best for you. If he is the best for you, then your parents will have to grow up and accept that eventually. If they are right and he turns out to be not quite the best thing that happened to you, then your parents will always be there. The biggest thing though, is if they are Christians, you should remind them that the Bible tells them not to judge or to judge only as harshly as they wish to be judged by God. If they aren't Christian, make a stand for what you believe is the best thing for you and as your parents they should love you regardless. And if they love you, then that means they should give this guy a chance to prove to them that he's a decent guy.
2006-07-06 10:58:14 · answer #3 · answered by mrsdokter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long has he been here? Is he an American citizen? These are legitimate questions they might ask. We as American citizens are cautious, because of what happened on Sept.11. I would worry if it were my daughter. I would think what are his intentions. If it is true love he will understand why they are saying the things they do. Give them time. How do you know that he is not one of the ones that are over here to hurt us? Not ment to be funny. See how it would confuse your parents.
2006-07-06 11:04:58 · answer #4 · answered by laurelbush28762 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one. You need to ask yourself a couple of questions. If you two would get married, are you going to follow his beliefs, religion and customs or keep your own? Are you willing to loose your family over him?
Have you tried a family meeting? Maybe if they were allowed to really sit down with him and ask them questions concerning their biggest "fears" that might reduce the tension that has been created.
Good luck!
2006-07-06 11:04:50 · answer #5 · answered by mama_wizard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to choose, but you do have to confront your parents' obvious racism/hatred of Muslims. You need to have a serious conversation with them, while he is not around, and tell them plainly how much you love him and how much their ignorance is hurting you. Just because they are your parents doesn't make them right. You need to confront them with your issues and not back down, but do so in a respectful way.
2006-07-06 10:59:51 · answer #6 · answered by Justin M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I AM NO EXPERT HERE BUT YOU LOVE THIS PERSON AND YOU ARE WITH HIM SO YOU ALREADY MADE YOUR CHOICE . IN THIS LIFE IF WERE TO PLEASE EVERY ONE WHETHER IT BE MOM AND DAD OR BROTHERS AND SISTER WE WOULD REACH NO WHERE IN LIFE . BECAUSE WE WOULD SPEND OUR TIME TRYING TO PLEASE OTHERS AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WOULD NEVER BE SATISFIED , SO HERE GOES STAND BY YOUR MAN DO WHAT IS RIGHT AT ALL TIMES , AS FOR YOUR PARENTS NEVER DISRESPECT THEM . BUT YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT MAKES YOU AND YOUR COMPANION HAPPY IF YOU ALLOW THEM TO SEE THAT THER ACTION AFFECT YOU THEY WILL CONTINUE TO HURT YOU , REMEMBER JESUS WAS WITHOUT SIN AND THEY STILL CRUCIFIED HIM SO GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE EITHER THEY WILL ACCEPT OR IT IS THERE LOSS .
2006-07-06 11:11:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your parents are smart, to bad you have no taste in men ,,shame on you for not respecting your parents wishes
2006-07-06 11:08:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your parents why they dont like him
2006-07-06 10:57:30 · answer #9 · answered by arigont 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋