My Future wife and I are...?

Question

My future wife and I are thinking about having a baby after we are married.
We both work good jobs, and make a pretty good salary.
We were talking about what would happen to her job when she had the baby, would she go back, would she stay...
What has been your experianse, or do you have any suggustions

I also dont like the idea of my 3 month old baby in a daycare... when he/she is older...then he/she will go into daycare

Answer 1

When my sister had the baby she took 2 months off from work then she found a really nice daycare for my niece and she went back to work,My niece is happy,healthy and very smart:-)
Yes her daycare is and was expensive.400$ a month.I am sure you can afford it:-)..Good luck

Answer 2

That's a personal choice between you and your wife. I've done both. I prefer staying at home. I've been a SAHM for one whole year now and I love it because I'm involved with my children. We play games, sing songs, I can teach them what they should be taught and I can see all the milestones they reach! It's priceless to be able to stay home. However, financially it is hard on the family, there's no extra paycheck to do the big things like travel and we have to watch what we spend.... but there are more pros to cons to me.

On the flip side, working gives me a sense of freedom that I don't have anymore. Sure I can do what I want when I want now, but my kids always come first. When I was working, I came first while my kids were at daycare. We also were able to afford a little more; which was always nice to go out to dinners, spend a whole weekend at the beach, etc.

I say don't make that decision now, worry about that later; especially if you are able to financially carry the family. Let that be a decision made when you decide to have a baby. And you know what, being pregnant may change her mind completely anyway, so don't make any definate plans now!! haha!

Congrats on the upcoming marriage and family!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

My bf and I talk about this all the time.

We decided that when we do get married in a couple of years, that we will wait at least 1 year before having kids so that we can get use to living together and get settled.

When we're ready, if we make enough money with one salary, I will stay at home until my kids are all in school full time. I don't want anyone else raising my kids for me.

If we can't afford that, then I will stay on maternity leave as long as possible. And once I go back to work, he will probably take paternity leave. Once that's over, we'll look into daycare if we still need 2 salaries.

It's a big decision to make and even if you make one now, circumstances in the future might make it so that you have to change your plans. So just make sure to talk over all the option.

And just remember, even if you pick one option, you can change your mind at anytime once you've had the baby.

Answer 4

Most women I have talked to about this says they would like to stay home for at least a year. If she has a stable position, the company may give her 6-8 weeks. That is a decent time for new moms but some say its not enough. She needs to talk to her boss about maternity leave and what her position would be if and when she comes back. Her job won't be the same that I know from personal experience. It is hard going back to work when you have a baby. It can be physically, mentally and emotionally trying at times. If you think that you can afford a decent living without your future wife's salary then I think you should allow her to stay home as long as she needs to. Remember it is a life changing experience but well worth it. Best of luck on your journey with your soon to be wife and future family. Just take one road at a time.

Answer 5

My husband and I both worked when I got pregnant with my son. It was decided that I would stay home after he was born. We didn't want anyone else raising him and seeing all his firsts. It was a cut in income, but let me tell you, it was worth every penny. The time I shared with him and the closeness we share is indesribable. My sister in law on the other hand went back to work 2 months after her son was born and mamaw and papaw watched him while they were at work, and now at 5 years old he rather be with mamaw and papaw.
My son is now 11 almost 12 and we have a daughter who will be 9 next month. My husband and I have no regrets in the choice we made. We know if it had been done the other way we would have not been able to go back and get back what we might of missed. I still stay home to this day, and I do book keeping at home. But this was our choice. He makes very good money, which I guess helps give me the option. the book keeping for me was to keep me from getting bored, because I did enjoy working.

Answer 6

that is up to you and your wife - and it may not be something she can decide right now. I always thought that even though I had kids, I would want to work because I enjoy my job. Once I had my daughter, I wished I could stay home - although for us that was not an option. First, if you wife thinks she will want to stay home, start saving up now so you have some money to pull from when she is staying home. Also, prioritize your "things" - what I mean is, you may have to cut back in some areas so that financially you can afford to have your wife stay home. You don't need to best car or clothes if it means you can stay with your child. On the other hand, your wife may decide to work. That is okay too and she should not feel guilty about working. It gives a mom adults and contact that stay at home moms often miss. She should not feel guilty about working if she wants to do that. I am a working mom so we can pay the bills (again, we do not have the best car of fancy things, we both work so we can buy food, pay bills, etc.). I also know stay at home moms. And some moms who work part time so they can be home and work. All options work - research shows that it is quality time with children that matters and not quantity of time. So if your wife works, make the most of the time with your children, if she doesn't - that is great too. Good luck making your decision and congrats on looking at this ahead of time so you can make the best decision for your family!

Answer 7

Either one of you could stay home with the baby or you could find a good daycare. The problem is that daycare often costs a good deal of what you make and by the time you figure in the higher tax bracket two jobs puts you in, you are most often better off with one of you taking some time off work.

Also remember that no one can take care of a child better than the parents.

Future employers usually understand this type of lapse in work.

Answer 8

Personally, I have never worked a day in my life since my first child was born. I quit my job when it became to difficult during my pregnancy and never looked back. Kids in daycare get less attention per child and get sick alot more. Plus, why have kids if I refuse to raise them? I didn't want my kids learning foul language from other daycare kids, picking up bad habits, or some other adult instilling moral, values, and rules on my child. If I can make'em then I should raise'em is my motto. My husband, though nervous at first, supported me 100% and we managed just fine. It takes time to adjust to 1 income, but its worth it. The best part is I get to tell my husband kid stories instead of passing on information from some daycare worker that is tired, underpaid, and doesn't care about my child near as much as I do. I only get 1 chance to raise my kids. I plan to do it right!

Answer 9

Well, i am just like you my wife and i married for 9 years and we have 2 kids daughter is 3 and son is 2 and we both have job My wife have 3 months off and then find best day care. and we don't have anyone in the family to look after our kids so I hate put my kids to day care but guess what it worth it why????

1. Kids will learn how to make friends, how to get along each other, If hate eachother they learn to solve the plm.

2. they learn quick and very smarts

But you know my daughter hate one of the day care first time and I was trying to find out why and my son too... every time he been crying every time i pick him up from day care so that day care said you know what I dropping you guys out of my day care and don't udnerstand why.

I got pissed so look and look found one and what cool she was a preschool teacher before and drop them off and first 1 week crying after that they want to go to day care Tara!!!!! ok my kids been much better with her and they learn to talk and knows abc and count and my gosh.

So I suggustions is that you find best day care and best person who can teach. If one person with 15 or more kids not good idea too much no time if 1 person with 8 or less it best thing.

we have to work and bring money home. even if my wife makes 55,000 a year and i made 28,000 a year i can stay home but I didn't want to becasue kids clothes food family place to stay.

I don't know if this help you.

Answer 10

she'll get a maternity leave of atleast 6 weeks and then goes right back to her own job unless she decides to be a stay at home mom. her job is guaranteed to her (at least here in the states) by the family medical leave act. Daycare centers start taking babies at 6 weeks old.

I personally lost my job due to the office closing right when i was due back from maternity leave so I ended up with a 7 month maternity leave before i found another job. it was really hard to go back to work and leave my baby with someone else. but we didn't have the option of me being a sahm.

good luck

Answer 11

it really depends on what would make your wife happy cuz you dont want her to feel like she just lost her life after the baby. it is important for her to be the one to decide if she should go back or not. me personally if the husband has a job that we could live off of i would love to be a stay at home mom and get to see my baby grow up, first walk, first words etc... that is something she shouldnt want to miss out on and when you go back to work right after you tend to lose those opportunities!good luck and congrats!!!