The reason I am asking is because I am dating an older guy and he seems to be the one, I am taking it slow because I have been hurt in the past. But his daughter is a daddy's girl, so I am trying not to pass judgement on this man, so what advise would you give to a deseperately seeking to find true love woman. And by the way she is about 25 years old.
2006-07-06 03:22:47 · 18 answers · asked by peaches 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He shouldn't have to choose between the two of you....why would he?? He obviously will always love his daughter and by the way you talk...he obviously loves you....so what is the problem? Is she causing real problems between the two of you?? If there are significant problems, then I would have a talk with him explaining how you are feeling and what is going on BUT if you just don't like her for one reason or another then that's just not reason enough...she's not going anywhere, she will always be there...so you have to make your mind up whether or not you want to stick around with this man under those conditions. I think you are very smart by going slow, this is wise, not too many people do that anymore...they are too busy rushing into things. It sounds like your on a good track with this man, do you really want to cause waves....in other words, learn to pick your battles, I'm not saying to ignore things and let people walk all over you.....but rationalize what's going on and ALWAYS be honest and open....this is so important, especially in this situation!
Good Luck to you, it sounds like you have a winner of a guy!!!
2006-07-06 03:32:33 · answer #1 · answered by Blue_Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is daddy's little girl type of daughters stay that way and daddies like that never change. You might not like my answer, but that is, from my experience, the truth. The daughter and you both have a unique relationship with him--you as a girlfriend, it is the sort of relationship which gives both of you the love, passion, understanding, tolerance, the intimicay only lovers can give to each other. On the other hand, his relationship with his daughter is one of love and importantly--responsibility. True, she is grown, a 25 year old. But because I share your experience, I have noticed that men, no matter how much they love and need their girlfriends/spouses, they cannot seem, for some reason, to be able to disregard their childrends need. No matter how old these children are. I think, you'll struggle with this issue through out your relationship with him, because it wont go away. Just make sure you clearly tell him, CLEARLY, what you expect from him, and let him know what you'll be able to do for him as well. Tell him what is unaceptale to you. If not anything else, understand know matter what you'll each be in your place. The 25 year old cannot ever be your replacement. She's just a daughter.
2006-07-06 10:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by Sunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Peaches that's a tough one. A man's daughter is sacred. However, if he loves you and wants to be with you, he'll find a way to spend time with each. The good thing is she's 25 and presumably has her own life. She's probably not living with him so that should give you time to snuggle up. Talk to him about how you guys can do things together, don't get jealous when he does things with just her, but stress you time with just him also. I really believe this can be worked out if everyone is willing to try. Whatever you do, don't make him feel as you said, the need to chose between you guys. You will lose. If he's being unreasonable about spending more time with you minus her, then you may have to reevaluate your relationship with him. But give it time first.
Good luck.
2006-07-06 10:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Daddy's girl will always be daddy's girl.
How is your relationship with her right now?
I married an older man and his daughter was six years younger than me, we turned out to be best buds, granted we have had our moments of conflict, all relationships do.
I treated her with respect and never tried to be her 'mom'.
I have always been there for her when she needed something or just someone to talk to.
Her father and I split 3 yrs ago, after 16 yrs of marriage, her and I are still real tight, together we have raised her daughter, so I see us always as being tight.
Best of luck to you and remember you both love this man, just not in the same way.
You already have something in common, build from there.
2006-07-06 10:45:27 · answer #4 · answered by Sheila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a 47 year old man, my older wife has two daughters that absolutely hate me. If you truly want this relationship to work you will have to take a lot of the back seat and keep your mouth shut. If this man you are seeing is a man then maybe you can gently start to let him see the way his daughter is treating you and you can help him get a back bone to stand up to his daughter as I have done.
2006-07-06 10:36:31 · answer #5 · answered by big T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was there first and she is going to be jealous of whatever you do with her Daddy. I'd say, just be friendly with her without giving her a reason to feel threatened. But, Big Daddy has to let her know that YOU come first...and you always will. It's a team effort. I know cause I live with it every day. I give my hubby and his daughter time together without my being involved and encourage visits. However, we have agreed that she has to respect us and our home (which includes ME) and she doesn't get any handouts. So far, so good. Everynow and then we have a little tug of war, but I let her Dad work it out. If your older man is "the one", he will work it out too. Good Luck.
2006-07-06 10:29:13 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she older than you? If she's 25 then she should be mature enough to handle the relationship. Just try to convince her that you two are friends and nothing more. You are not there to take her mother's place, just make her daddy happy. FYI: the two of you cannot talk about sex like some friends can...Yikes!
2006-07-06 10:30:19 · answer #7 · answered by Lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to be nice and friendly with her...don't forget she will always be daddy's little girl,if u want ur man for keeps,,u can't afford to ignore his daughter even though she's 25. Just be patient with her and things will work out.
2006-07-06 10:33:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always show his daughter respect, even if at times she doesn't deserve it.
Take an interest in her life.
Tell her what you like about her father, and your intentions.
Make sure she doesn't feel like he father has to chose between you.
Ensure she stays a big part of her fathers life, encourage it.
Never put down the daughter to the father
Accept her as part of your family - you may become part of theirs.
2006-07-06 10:32:08 · answer #9 · answered by HEY_ YOU! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you mentioned your concerns to him? Maybe the three of you could sit down and talk. Tell her that you would really like to be part of the family and you really like her father, but that it has worried you that she might think you are trying to invade her space with her father, and that's not what you want to do. If she understands that this concerns you, and that you don't want to intrude on their relationship, she might be more open to accepting you as another woman in the family, and not as a replacement for her.
2006-07-06 10:27:25 · answer #10 · answered by lizwatson109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋