My 50 something yr. old uncle got full custody of his 18 month old daughter. The mother signed over all her rights. He drives a truck for a living. I keep her while he's gone. Hre only comes in and sees her for a day or two each week. One time it was only for 3 hours. I have two boys already and she hears them call me momma so she has started to also. Is that appropriate? Oh and I have rights to her. If something happens to him, I get full custody.
2006-07-06 03:11:10 · 21 answers · asked by sweet75482 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The question you should ask yourself is; if she doesn't call you Momma but she spends all her time with you and you boys won't she grow up thinking she is an outsider and feeling unloved.
She is a baby; let her call you Momma. When she is a older you can explain the situation to her.
I don't think in this situation her parents have a say in it. If they wanted a say they would be raising her.
plus tell me something, how do you plan to convince a 19 month old baby not to call you momma? I think I'd pay money to watch you TRY!
2006-07-06 03:22:22 · answer #1 · answered by Ms S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By all means embrace her calling you momma, she needs to relate to a mommy figure, you sound perfect for the title. Let the real mom know and when the child is older, explain this to her.
Don't keep secrets from the child, especially those that involve her.
If the biological mother has a problem with this, remind her that she willing give up her rights. But don't try to make her feel bad, there is usually more to a story like this, there are many reasons why she isn't raising her child.
But you are, so you are the hero in this little girls life - go you!
2006-07-06 03:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by Sheila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she's only a baby & I'm assuming that you've had her for a while now, she's got no memories of her mother and it's completely natural for her to call you "momma". You should talk to your uncle about it though and see if he's got a problem with it. Yes, at some point it's going to be confusing for you and for her, but as long as she always knows who her parents are--it really doesn't matter.
2006-07-06 03:20:45 · answer #3 · answered by tkltafoya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that child needs someone to call her own basically. I don't think there's anything wrong with her calling you Momma. You're there for her 24/7, you basically are her mom. And plus if you have the rights for guardianship, then possibly soon enough, you'll be calling her your daughter. My mom passed away about 6 years ago and I never knew my father, and I empathize with children who don't have parents, but sweetie I have so much respect for you, you're a good human being!!!!
2006-07-06 03:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by graciefaith1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it's appropriate! At this stage in her young life, you are her "motherly" figure. She really doesn't understand the circumstances of her life and later on you can explain them to her if it would make you feel more comfortable. But for the time being, let her call you mom, it adds a little assurance to her life. She is at that point in her life where she is aware and observant of her surroundings, and she will mimic what others do around her. If she sees your other children calling you mom, she will do the same. Good luck!
2006-07-06 03:20:29 · answer #5 · answered by Mike F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Erhhh i dont think it really matters, though i'm quite confused myself:
Are u planning to adopt her, cos if not then there's no need to worry.
I wish i had a clearer picture of the issue between her parents though but anyway, is the living arrangement with you long term, cos if its not, it doesnt really matter, she can call you that by the time her she starts living fully with her dad she might forget all about it and it wont really matter. I think she still a kid and it doesnt really matter, stopping her might make her feel you dont love her.
I hope i havent just suceeded in confusing you further.
2006-07-06 03:27:59 · answer #6 · answered by lady p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it sounds like she is yours. If you are going to be her mom for the rest of her life, I think you should let her call you mom. Of course she needs to understand her background eventually, but when she is old enough she'll know that you ARE her mom because you take care of her and give her a mother's support. My aunt adopted two boys, and they are still very young (like 3 & 2) but she reads them stories about adoption and the sensitivity surrounding it, and they are growing up very well adjusted, knowing that "Mommy" is the one who is there to protect and nurture them, even though "Mother" might be someone else.
2006-07-06 03:18:19 · answer #7 · answered by lizwatson109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say yes it is OK,, BUT, with the intent that you square her away when she is old enough to understand that you are not her BIO. mother. As we all know there is quite a difference between a Mother and a Mommy. It's all so not fair to her to hear your other children calling you Mom/Mommy and telling her NO, let it go for now, and later when she is old enough to understand,, sit her down and explain it to her. But do not wait untill she is in her teens either.
2006-07-06 03:17:17 · answer #8 · answered by Loki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children follow and learn by example, to her you are the only mother she knows (parent for that matter). If you try to teach her otherwsie right now she may get confused. You are to be commended for all that you have done and are doing for this little girl, let her have the honor of having you as her mother.
2006-07-06 03:20:53 · answer #9 · answered by lashenica j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may want to not communicate to him first, as he's nineteen - He knows that he will be going to detention center. If she seems a lot youthful, he might want to certainly be into little ones... That sounds propose, because he would not yet she is fullyyt 13 too! She is a baby! i believe you ought to inform her father and mom... you're purely searching for what's best for her, and that i'm hoping she knows, even it takes a even as for her to comprehend that you've secure her..
2016-10-14 04:27:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋