How would you tell a friend that her driving scares you?

Question

I have a friend with three young children. She doesn't pay attention when she drives. She has totaled 4 cars. Every time I ride in the car with her, I fear for my life. I feel like I could die at any moment. Her driving is jerky and inconsistent, she has road rage, and she is always tailgating and swerving into the other lane. She comes to screeching halts almost every time she stops. I can avoid riding with her but I am worried about her kids. She is married but her husband acts like nothing is wrong when we are all in the car together. I always tell her to be careful driving but I feel like I should say more. What would you say?

Answer 1

I would tell her point blank that she drives like a maniac and that you are afraid to drive with her. You love her and wish she would love her family enough to think about how she is driving. My husband drove like this when we were first married and when my first son was born he continued to drive like this. One day he zoomed across a railroad track about 10 seconds before the train was upon us. I yelled at him. He did not see what the big deal was we were all safe. I asked him to stop at the next gas station so I could use the rest room and got out of the car. I told him I was going to call a friend or his mom to come get us since he cared about us so little that he would try a stunt like that and that I nor our son was riding anywhere with him until he changed his ways. He did not believe me until 2 weeks later we were still riding to the grocery store and church with friends and people started asking my husband why? His embarrassment was enough to make him change and he is still changed. Your friend needs to realize she is being foolish with her children and husbands lives and if she doesn't care about them then why stay with them. Obviously she is the ruler of the roost or her husband is as foolish as she is. I understand the feeling of the need to protect the children but your best way to protect those children is to make a firm and solid stand for them. Your friend will probably think you are over reacting and get angry with you but stay strong for the kids sake. Driving wildly and road rage is a power thing. See if you can try to get a police officer to be involved. Sometimes they can do more than you think.

Answer 2

Talk to her husband and tell him ur concern. If he wont do or say anything then talk to ur friend. Let her know that ur worried about her being behind the wheel. Also that ur concerned about her children being in the car when shes driving. If she doesn't take what u say to heart and try to be a better driver then all u can do is hope and pray that she slow it down.

I know its mean to say this but, maybe an accident or something close call will make her wake up and realize she needs to be careful. BUT... seriously just talk to her and pray for her.

Answer 3

Ok, I don't know what kind of friendship you have with this girl but I joke a lot with my friends about serious issues, its all in the tone and expression on your face when you say it. Try sounding kinda ghetto and laughing at the same time like: Grab what I call the "Sh*t-bar" which should be to your right and above your head in the passenger seat and say "Daaamn girl, slo yo a$$ down befoe you kill somebody" then add, "You can't be drivin all crazy n sh*t wit yo kids in tha car"!! And if she gets into a wreck with you in the car; the rule of thumb is to wait until the ambulance pulls up and then open the door, roll out onto the pavement, and moan in pain, then sue her a$$, because you won't be getting her money, you'll be getting her insurance company's money!

Answer 4

I'd volunteer to drive any where I went with her. Life is too short as it is to spend it crippled up from a wreck. I told my son one time to stop and let me out if that was the best he could drive. His driving has improved markedly since.

Totaled 4 cars and still has not changed her driving habits? Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over & over while expecting different results. It won't happen until SHE perceives the need to change. By then permanent damage will be done to somebody, maybe you if you still ride with her.

Have you no family considerations? Put them first.

Answer 5

It sounds to me like you have a problem. If you think any thing you say is going to make her change you are really mistaken. The only thing that might change her driving is killing 2 or three of you in a wreck, and from the sound of it I dont think it would change her attitude. No matter how you go about it you are going to loose a friend. Talk to her and her husband and be prepared for a big blow up. If you have no luck, report her and stay away.

Answer 6

Well if shes a real freind, You should be able to just come right out and tell her ! Tell her your worried about her and the kids, she needs to settle down before she kills somone. It might not be her or her kids she kills , but some other poor innocent person like me!

Dont ride with her if your gut tells you you shouldnt!

Sounds like she got her licence out of a cereal box lol.. She needs some lessons seriously/! Is she a 'P' plater? If shes young. Then bare with her, she should settle down as she matures :)

Answer 7

Maybe as a gift, you can enroll her in an aggressive driving course. Maybe you can even go with her as a sign of friendship. The courses are usually a few hours long, and can remove points from licenses and even lower insurance rates. It doesn't have to be like an intervention-type thing, and could be made to be kind of fun. Websites like safemotorist.com can help you find one of these courses in your area. I hope it works and I hope your friend learns how to drive safely.

Answer 8

You have to tell her the truth. The truth can't always be candy coated. It sounds like you are really concerned for her and her family. You should just invite her to lunch or dinner with just the two of you and tell her that you really care about her and that she's a dear friend. Then you should tell her that you are concerned about her lack of concentration when driving, especially when the kids are with her. Let her talk...explain to her that you are only telling her this out of genuine concern for her safety.

Answer 9

Just tell her that her driving record is not good. Tell her that you are uncomfortable riding with her and you wish she'd be more careful. Tell her you worry about the safety of her children. Maybe this will make her think a little more.

Answer 10

Scream loudly and clutch the dashboard the entire time that the car is in motion. Wet your pants half way through the trip. When she stops, jump out, vomit, then kiss the ground. She will get the picture.