We have been supporting my mother for three years and the money is getting tighter. One solution is to have her live with us. We would like to know from others the pit falls and pluses.
2006-07-06 03:05:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well you have to think of it this way. This is someone else that will be living in your house with you. So it will take some time for you get use to each other. Sometimes your mother can be helpful to have around. Sometimes they'll do things for you but other times some mothers will not lift a finger to help you and also become more of a burden on you. I love my mother to death but she had to go after a few months. We just couldn't see eye to eye on things.
2006-07-06 03:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by clarnely_2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. No matter how good your relationship is to begin with, having her living with you will be a completely different story. The gesture is nice but the "pit falls" will by far outweigh the "pluses". The biggest stress will then be your relationship with your spouse.... which would be far worse than the financial struggles. Unless your mother/mother-in-law is an elderly lady, incapable of caring for herself AND you have arrangements for her to have her own part of the house along with boundaries in your relationship clearly outlined then I would strongly discourage it.
2006-07-06 10:25:39 · answer #2 · answered by Auntie E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG..I have lived with my MIL and let me tell ya-I would rather stick hot bamboo shoots in my eyes and listen to Barney the dinosaurs theme song over and over again. Mom's(and dont get me wrong-I love my mom and my MIL is ok if I am not in the same house) will tend to take the "I am Mom-hear me roar" mentality. If you have kids though and she likes to be with the grandkids-it could open up an opportunity for the 2 of you to get out and have dinner or a movie. My MIL, when we lived with her got this idea that my cooking, cleaning, and the way I treated her "BABY" wasnt what she considered good and she told me so. We got into a screaming match in the middle of her kitchen and I threw my wedding ring at my husband when he came in to find out the commotion. This situation is a loaded gun let me tell ya. I wouldnt do it unless she was very ill.
2006-07-06 10:12:14 · answer #3 · answered by hatingmsn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of them ever lived with me but I live with both of my parents now.
After the death of my grandma (she lived with mom and dad so they could care for her), and the death of my brother less than 30 days later (Jan.2,2005), it took a toll on my parents health. So I decided to give up everything I had (a good paying job of 5 yrs. & my house) to come back home and live with my parents and take care of them. We have had our times, good and bad. But they took care of me when I was little and raised me. Now it is my turn to care for them. I know that they won't be around forever so I am going to enjoy them both now while I can. When ever I have a problem with mom, I pacifer her while around her and then do pretty much what I want when she is not around.I work and help her as much as possible. Dad on the other hand is easy and fun to be around. By the way. I'm 49, mom is 72 and dad is 83.
2006-07-06 10:27:56 · answer #4 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had my mother in law living with me she hated my guts
she lived with us for three years then i needed a break.two years later she came back to live with us as she was diagnosed with cancer.as already stated she never liked me and apart from swear words we spoke probably 20 civilised words within this period.
i can say i would not have changed a thing .we have children and they are better for this experience and i feel i have grown personally from this.
it will be hard but long term will be beneficial to all
2006-07-06 10:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by jibber_wibber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how you get along with them. The money help is the plus. On the other hand it can be disasterous. She can try to do the mommy thing, no privacy, She will be around for arguements and such. It might be quite uncomfortable. Good luck.
2006-07-06 10:09:10 · answer #6 · answered by arreis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend was buying her first house and instead of a play room upstaris they had a small apartment built. her mom loves it and the money she pays for the mortgage pays for diference of the add on. You could also build a space onto and existing home. Trust me you will want this privacy and so will she.
2006-07-13 05:41:02 · answer #7 · answered by jannurse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UGH! If I ever have to do that again, I will divorce my husband. I suppose it depends on whether or not you like your mother in law. If you really, really like her and aren't lying to yourself then it could be a nice arrangement. Trust me though, if you aren't her greatest fan, it could ruin your marriage.
Good luck! I hope it all works out for you guys!
2006-07-06 10:11:22 · answer #8 · answered by Batgurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be a good idea or awful. Think of the way she treats you now, and can you deal with that 24/7?
2006-07-06 10:13:38 · answer #9 · answered by Cindy in Bama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my mother in-law lived with us I would have a loaded gun in the closet!!!
2006-07-06 10:07:24 · answer #10 · answered by dan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋