My 10 year old son is on a roll with lying. I don't know what else to do to get him to stop!
I have grounded, punished and sat down and talked to him. I'm worried if he keeps this up, he will never stop.
2006-07-06 02:59:24 · 11 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When he wants something from you then say "I would love to do that but with all your lying I just can't bring myself to doing that right now for you". This may mean that he doesn't get any extra-curricular activites or anything more than just the basics. Don't stoop to his level. This is a serious issue and one that you need to continue to address and get under control.
2006-07-06 03:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by willinkc 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go with him to a trusted therapist, and /or have him speak to a therapist in a private session (where you are absent).
A child will lie and make up things as a defensive response to a perceived threat, ie, he's not in an environment where it's "safe" to tell the truth. This also reflects a serious self-esteem question, which brings up a "red-flag" to me. It is possible that a family member has sexually abused your son; perhaps a few years ago. Punishment may be what he's looking for, in the sense that negative attention is better than no attention at all; spanking him or other physically painful punishment would probably reinforce the lying.
I think that counselling along with some firm boundaries (rewards for telling the truth; denial of priviledges for lying) might be the answer. I think also reassuring him that he is loved and valued, is important.
2006-07-06 11:00:33 · answer #2 · answered by Joya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of time children will tell stories when they don't mean to lie. They don't realize that their imagination is taking over for telling the truth. Explain that telling the truth is what you do when you care for someone and lying is the worst thing anyone can do. Always ask if he is sure of the storie and just be supportive, this will pass. I have two of my own and deal with it on a day to day basis. Patience is the key and being very understanding.
2006-07-06 10:08:01 · answer #3 · answered by tony31569jp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reward him when he tells the truth. Reweards (positive reinforcement) works much better than punishment (on dogs and people). Keep reinforceing the lesson that lying is not acceptable, especially to you. Also, don't forget to set a good example.
2006-07-06 10:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by Answer King 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do the reward thing. To me, rewarding good behavior only sends a message that being good, and not lying, is exceptional and will be rewarded. Taking away privledges seems to work in my house.
2006-07-06 10:15:29 · answer #5 · answered by mxmrphy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SMACK DOWN! The boy needs to start over with NO CREATURE COMFORTS. TAKE everything he loves and enjoys away, when he has satisfied a benchmark, give him back one thing. Tough love him and don't back off! Liars are a pain in the *** and sometimes turn SOCIOPATH!
2006-07-06 10:26:25 · answer #6 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read Dr. Phil's book on parenting. You have to be willing to not back down with the kid, or you'll be visiting him once a week in jail.
2006-07-06 10:33:32 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make him know that u r not to be fooled by him... he should know u r much more intelligent than him... tell him how a good child should behave... gift him wen he does something good n punish him wen he acts wrongly... he should understand... Please keep an eye on him... U can correct him while he's a child... Later this can be a difficult job
2006-07-06 10:22:18 · answer #8 · answered by Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
promise him something like taking him 2 a movie & when he is ready 2 go say him that u lied
2006-07-06 10:03:23 · answer #9 · answered by Neha S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Threaten to send him to military school, or send him to summer school all though he passed, i'm sure you can set that up with his school
2006-07-06 10:03:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋