does this persuade you?

Question

Reliability of communication Technology


Communication technology has changed for better reliability. Many people depend on the new technology ever day. Cordless technology makes life easier. There is more space to store information.
Many people depend on being able to communicate .With new technology they are able to fully rely on their technology working. Such as in an On Star car, people are able to depend on, On Star knowing when there has been an accident. By using a device to communicate with the person/people in the car, On Star is bale to determine if they need to call for paramedics. With the evolution of technology people are able to work from home and do more than one thing at once.
Modern technology is a lot easier than corded unreliable technology. No cords insures no tripping over cords and breaking the product. No more pets being wrapped in the cords. It also insures portability. Wireless products are easier to carry with you to class, a board meeting, and even around the house.
Information storage is made smaller. Instead of using a floppy disk , that has a low limitation of storage ,people are able to use flash drives. Flash drives have a high level of storage room. Which happens to be small enough to put on a key chain .Now families that had crowded hard drives can all stores their information simply on their own flash drive? With this smaller technology people are about to rely on saving more.
Many large companies find it easier to convert their communication technology to modern forms. A delivery server used to use a manual route book to save sales, people, and time. The company tried using “a modern way “.A mobile computer system , replaced the old way and made their work a lot easier , reliable , and faster.

Answer 1

No. Your thesis statement is "Communication technology has changed for better reliability." Everything you stated referred to how technology has become more CONVENIENT. Reliability refers to how trustworth something is. If it is reliable, then you have a strong expectation that it will continue to work despite obstacles of various kinds. You never stated HOW technology is reliable! Sorry.

Answer 2

You used the word technology so many times I had to stop reading it for a second and come back to it. It would probably persuade me if you improve a bit on the writing skills. If I were grading you, there would be red marks all over it. Make your sentences flow better.

Answer 3

I understand what you are trying to say but I think it could be condensed with less use of the same words over and over.

Answer 4

wow can i have the post it note version is it out yet

Answer 5

i undrestand i like smart people in every field

Answer 6

yes. why did it have to be so long??

Answer 7

yes.

Answer 8

NO!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

NO!