2006-07-06 02:00:45 · 25 answers · asked by jag1955 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How could you not eventually, if this is someone you want as a life partner? And tell them, if you can, where you are in the process of overcoming that victimization, and why you have a reaction to certain things the way you do.
P.S.
For those of you who think "No, don't run him off," I don't think you understand how that sets up the relationship. A big part of a relationship is SHARING PERSONAL STUFF!!! If something you are dealing with, or feel should be shared, can't be, because you think the other person wouldn't stay....well, besides the fact that might be a good test as to whether you should be with that person, it means you are being oh so careful to manipulate this relationship in the direction where you want it to go, and for what? You can't even talk with him about what is probably the most traumatic experience of your life? You don't have to have a long talk about it; but you can at least say, if you wish, there's something really personal I'd like to tell you about, or at least let you know about, and if you can, tell them why. When you are the one who has been violated, and you are told not to tell anyone, how do you think it feels when you grow up and still feel like you CAN'T tell the person you feel the closest to? If you don't want to tell him, that's your choice too.
2006-07-06 02:06:19 · answer #1 · answered by calliegal55 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Not until she/he's been around a long time and is no longer a 'new' partner. This is sensitive information and can make a person back off fast, because if you bring this up too soon, they may think you're so psychologically effected that you'll not ever be a good partner. Prove your worth and mental stability first. If the topic ever comes up then you can mention it, but don't dwell on it for a long period of time with him/her. In fact, don't dwell on it yourself, if you can do that, for it wasn't your fault and it's over with.
2006-07-06 09:05:13 · answer #2 · answered by save_up_your_tears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been molested by my aunt at the age of four - not even my mom knows!
Through the years it didn't bother me because I have dealt with it and I have forgiven her...
I think not! But if you want to tell him and you trust him completely - I told my Bf after a year or so and he supported me all the way - told me that he is okay with it and if I needed any help he'll be there for me...
Good guy, I guess?
2006-07-06 09:11:03 · answer #3 · answered by Chellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't tell my husband until years later. As you know if you have ever been molested that this is not a easy subject to discus and you are probably afraid of how he is going to look at you and how that would make them feel afterward, and of course trust is always a factor. But if you feel that you can trust him enough to let him know then go ahead and tell him. Eventually you will probably want to tell him, because it is still on your mind.
2006-07-06 20:50:50 · answer #4 · answered by ♫†☼☼♥Natasha♥☼☼†♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i would! i have been molested 2 times by different people and i tell every bf that i get because i don't want them to think i am not ok with them, its just memories and plus if he is really a good guy, he won't care about it and will help you threw it! but only if i knew him for along time!
2006-07-06 09:11:45 · answer #5 · answered by Wants2help! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it is better to tell everything each other and so is this matter! But certainly not on a first date!! If you really want to go ahead with this partner, you should tell him/her. But be aware of the situation! Good Luck!
2006-07-06 09:06:56 · answer #6 · answered by doglover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. That's something that should be shared with someone you trust. I'd wait to see where the relationship went before pouring my soul out. There may not be a need to divulge that kind of personal info.
2006-07-06 09:04:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes Honesty is always best especially at the beginning of a new relationship that way there are no secrets. Good Luck. If he is the one for you he will understand and accept you , Good luck again
2006-07-06 09:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by destiny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eventually yes...they need to know. There may be quirks about your personality that only that can explain. But I wouldn't tell them within the first little bit. Wait until you truly trust them.
2006-07-06 09:28:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your playing the sympathy card .I can't see it . I was BTW and have never told a partner new or old, it happened a long time ago and I don't carry it with me . I let it go a long time ago.
2006-07-06 09:05:16 · answer #10 · answered by magicboi37 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋