I met a guy through a Internet dating site. Interesting notes back + forth and then we went out on a date. I gave him a hug when I met him and had a good time + was attracted to him. I gave him a hand-shake on parting...mainly because I was nervous. When I got home, I called his cell phone and was going to tell him that I had a great time but I chickened out and hung up without leaving a message. The next day I went out + he called early asking why I had called and hoped everything was ok. He called again 9 hrs. later and left a message saying he thought I didn't like him and that he at least deserved some sort of answer? I wrote an email telling him this concerned me + he replied that he lacked self-confidence because as a child, his brother ridiculed him. Also he's been married twice and his 1st wife cheated on him. I told him I had a good time on our date but he says my actions don't match my words? Trust issues? Misogynist? I wrote a good-bye note and he wrote back a saracatic note
2006-07-06 00:56:23 · 8 answers · asked by Patricia 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ay. Yi. Yi.
You did the right thing!
Just think what he might be like after, heaven forbid, the SECOND date!!
In my opinion, we're talking major self-esteem issues. Add to that the fact that he loves being the victim.
I don't mean to sound harsh-- but at some point, we all have to take responsibility for our actions and attitudes, no matter what may have happened to us in the past. And... he's not there, yet.
It sounds like he doesn't even know the neighborhood. ;)
It sounds as if he must believe that whatever happens to him is always somebody else's fault.
You can't help but feel badly for someone like that.
And you can't help but feel badly for the person who falls for it.
Thank God it wasn't you. :)
2006-07-06 01:11:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I was in the same boat as him. Alot of it is trust and insecure. If you were interested then maybe if you ask him out then maybe he will open up alittle. Just tell him that you have a hard time showing how you feel. He maybe just scared, If that is it then he just needs to get over it and have a good time but that maybe hard for him. You have to show him some how you had a good time. My first date with my soon to be wife ended the same way yours did with a hug. I also met her on one of those dating sites. I had some trust problems but I realised if I didnt trust her then the relationship would not work. He has to know this. It will come in time. You just have to show him that you like him and everything else will fall into place. If you need more info just email me and I will help any way I can. I know these online dating sites are hard, but you have to work for the relationship. Goodluck
p.s. You can do as DK says by not listen to what I had to say. That is your call. All Im saying is if you really like this guy maybe you need to give him a chance. That is up to you. You wanted our opinion and I gave you mine. Not everyone is perfect. We all have flaws and sometimes we have to help people through them. In what ever you do I hope it works out for you.
2006-07-06 01:04:45 · answer #2 · answered by bigdog_0032 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guys been hurt too many times and is very sensitive
to criticism. He'd rather hurt than be hurt by someone else
again. He is carrying a lot of baggage around with him and
the fact that he was sarcastic sounds as though he is a
bad bet to be with. Maybe in time when he learns to trust
women more he may have more luck with them.
He was wanting more commitment from you straight up and
was disappointed that you didn't kiss him goodnight.
I don't blame you for being suspicious with him and it's
probably for the best for the time being anyway.
Good Luck
2006-07-06 01:07:51 · answer #3 · answered by Sara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Block this loser's phone number and don't answer any of his calls. He is bad news and you do not need to be part of his drama. Not saying he's dangerous but better safe than sorry.
You wrote your goodbye note he responded like a child. Leave it like that
Ignore bigdog
2006-07-06 01:46:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to be a part of his life......RUN, do not walk away from him.......don't call or email him anymore.....it's no fun to be involved with someone who feels that way......I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt.......you'll end up with less self-confidence than he has.......you'll be a little shell of the woman u once were.....find u a man that will treat you like u should be treated.....and isn't worried just b/c of little things like that....Good luck!!
2006-07-06 01:00:50 · answer #5 · answered by honey_bear_21_1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's acting like that after the first date your right to be concerned he has some major issues dont second guess yourself you did the right thing he's showing you his true colors i would't give him the time of day
2006-07-06 01:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by newtothis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a control issue. could you have put up w/ the sarcasim all the time? Probobly not.
2006-07-06 01:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by seaturtle36 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
insecure try again and this time kiss him make him feel good wen he is around u and tell him how u feel about him
2006-07-06 01:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by temple_lynne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋