one know how to pamper themselves but how can one love themselves?

Answer 1

There are many ways to accomplish your goal of learning to love yourself. Below is one with a noteworthy history of success.

The first part of my answer will, unfortunately be a tad dry, but necessarilly explains how the second part of the question works. So, please read through the first part, before reading the second. Thx!

'Visualizing and gettting to know your inner child' is quite a common therapeutic exercise. The goal is to integrate two distinct mind-sets within the person. The conscious or rational/adult mind, and the sub-conscious or emotive/child mind.

Although some would argue that it's gibberish, there is a sound methodology behind the exercise. The rational mind uses logic and past experience to gauge the most correct/appropriate course of action to a current situation. The emotive mind relies on raw emotion to respond to any stimuli. When someone suggests "taking a deep breath before you react" or "counting to ten before reacting", they are essentially advising that the person should stifle the emotive mind (the child mind) and allow the rational mind (the adult mind) to take control of the person before reacting to the present situation.

Raw emotional reactions often cause problems for people. For example: when anger rises in response to a situation without the tempering effect of the rational/adult mind, the individual can over-react. How often have you seen someone really angry and observed that they act/sound like a child? This is the sub-conscious mind taking control of the individual's response.

Both logic and emotion are present in human's. So, to develop a 'self' that you like and are proud of takes integration of both, so as to avoid feeling guilty or stupid for the emotive reactions that you later feel were out-of-control.

O.K., so now to more specifically address your question:

When you are calm, imagine what your 'child-mind' might look like, assign him/her an appearance. Write your description in a journal. Then write a series of personal questions like, What you like most about your favorite food? , What you like best about your best friend?, Why don't you like your boss? etc... Then answer them first as the child-mind then the adult-mind. The object of the exercise is for you to acknowledge the child-mind, and to expose the child-mind to the rational thought processes of the adult/rational mind.

The result of performing this exercise with some frequency for a short time ( a month or so), is for you to deeply understand the differences between how your emotive and rational mind think, and react to stimuli. By doing so, you can teach the child-mind that in inflamatory situations, the adult-mind needs to take control of your reaction, thereby eliminating the over-reactions that cause feelings of guilt, stupidity, or inadequacy ... feelings that result in self-dissapointment. Continue this inner dialogue, highlighting the emotional benefit of letting the rational/adult mind determine correct responses. This will help the child-mind understand the benefit of deferring to the adult/rational mind, with the promise of emotional reward!

As a side-note: activities that are known to cause the most damage to one's life are often the result of the emotive mind over-riding the rational mind. For example: addictions, obsessions, activities driven by feelings of invincibility, etc... Although the rational mind knows that the activity will have negative repercussions, the emotive mind perceives a powerful emotional benefit. And, the un-trained mind allows the emotional child-mind to dictate the course of action.

When you've successfully trained your child-mind, your reactions to stimuli will make you proud of your 'self'. When you feel pride in who you are, you will begin to regard your 'self' with greater appreciation, thereby learning to love your whole 'self'.

Please note that for this exercise to work, a commitment of time and true desire to succeed must be present. The good news is that it can be remarkably rewarding, beneficial, and fun. It's really o.k. to have fun with this. Remember that the child-mind is also the seat of profound emotions, like joy and bliss as well.

It may seem a bit ridiculous to perform this exercise at first. So, if at all possible, enlist the help of a trusted friend to engage in role playing. It can be a real 'hoot', and can make it seem like a more reasonable thing to do.

Wishing you the best!

Answer 2

How to Love Yourself When You Don't Know How: Healing All Your Inner Children by Jacqui Bishop, Mary Grunte

Learning to Love Yourself -- by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse

Learning to Love Yourself -- by Gay Hendricks;

Answer 3

It comes from being proud of who you are. You must have a good self esteem and know in your heart that no matter what ANYONE ELSE says or feels about you, you know (without worrying about their opinion or what they are saying) that you are okay!! Truth is, most of us are okay but tend to worry about what others say about us. Believe it or not, once you have matured, you have a much better chance at loving yourself. You start learning what is important and unimportant in life.

Answer 4

To show love for myself, I get me the best clothes money can buy, I spend a little fortune on hearcuts, I invite myself to the best restaurants in town and go out with girls compatible with my status as a rich, handsome dandy

Answer 5

properly, the examples you gave are not ALL pampering. Taking showers each day is merely reliable own hygiene, as is brushing your the teeth. Making your self seem presentable isn't actual pampering both. We ought to secure a presentable visual charm if we are to be conventional and effectual in society. So doing all of your hair is merely own grooming. putting lotion on, and wearing delicate clothing is largely "preventative" maintainance in an attempt to talk. with the intention to relish the most healthful and restful sleep era, one ought to take your time to be delicate and comfortable beforehand delivering for the evening. This should be executed continuously with the intention to maximise your effectiveness in coping with the initiatives accessible the subsequent day. Sounds to me like you're "loving" your self merely high quality, yet "pampering"? i does not bypass that a techniques. in case you reported that you're taking an hour lengthy bathe on your the front room sized bathing room, with the 9 bathe nozzles, to be accompanied by using 1 extra 0.5 hour of soaking on your kitchen sized warm bath with 315 dollar a pound uncommon Earth salts, next on your 780 dollar a sq. foot organic marble tanning deck, and then brushed your the teeth along with your 1200 dollar, gold plated, diamond encrusted, monogrammed toothbrush, with the variable automobile-vibrate placing, and then had your seventy 5 dollar an hour own assistant brush your hair for you along with your sturdy silver hairbrush that used to belong to an Egyptian queen, and then to end by using setting up your 3000 dollar in my opinion adapted, brushed cotton and silk mattress room fit with matching liquid cushioned mink slippers, THEN, i'd imagine that lets call that "pampering" your self. for sure, I dont comprehend if i'd call that variety of extra "loving" oneself. i imagine a extra acceptable time period may be "spoiling" oneself, yet that my opinion.

Answer 6

Think at least one positive thing about oneself every day. Think it over; what would one do to support a friend with low self esteem? We could think of several things to say or do. To increase love for oneself - do these things to yourself. Peptalk, positive thinking. You are what you think.

Answer 7

Eat healthy
Don't do drugs
Exercise
Have a good job
Don't go for abusive lovers
Able to say no.....don't be a people pleaser
Be happy

Answer 8

By loving yourself, you nurture yourself. Keep yourself healthy.

The smartest thing in life is to enjoy it.

http://www.alternativescentral.com/spiritualthoughts.htm

http://www.alternativescentral.com/rulesforbeinghuman.htm

http://www.alternativescentral.com/healthcrusade.htm

Answer 9

i love to buy myself all kinds of stuff that i dint have when growing up.you know the ones you couldnt afford.bubblebaths,going out to party etc.

Answer 10

think about why one hates themself and then accept or change it. and from that moment on live by your own rules and follow your own heart regardless of what image others have of you. and yes compliment yourself everyday..