How can i get my 2 yr old to stop acting out?

Question

I recently had another baby and my 2 yr old seems to be acting awful since I brought the baby home. He is screaming all the time, throwing everything, refuses to sleep, when the baby sleeps he touches him to awaken him. Its driving me and my husband insane...any advise?

recently had another baby and my 2 yr old seems to be acting awful since I brought the baby home. He is screaming all the time, throwing everything, refuses to sleep, when the baby sleeps he touches him to awaken him. Its driving me and my husband insane...any advise?
I should say that I allow him to help with EVERYTHING he gets to hold the baby, watch me feed(breast feeding), I spend time with only him when I can, I tell him a million and 1 times how much I love him. I have done everything to make sure he is in the babies life yet he still acts soooo bad!

Answer 1

it's hard enough with just a two-year old , let alone a new baby....

even if you didn't have a new baby , your toddler would be acting out....testing limits.....exerting himself.....and basically, being a two-year old. this is the age.....

My 21 month old granddaughter is starting those same behaviors..... it is called ( lovingly ) " the terrible twos "

have someone take the baby for a few hours each week, so you can spend some quality " alone " time with your " big boy ".......let him know he's not being replaced.....and he isn't losing out on anything because of the new baby. Buy him a special " big boy " toy and tell him " the baby is NOT allowed to use this...this is yours "



when he gets out of hand, simply remove him from the room for a few minutes. you may have to do this over and over,

good luck....and keep smiling...and loving those babies.....

you've got your hands full, I'm sure

Answer 2

Hey honey! Just hang in there! I am going through the same thing, really! I have a daughter that will be three in Aug. and my son is eight months old. ALMOST every ones responses are good ones and ones you should try, if not already. "Beating" your child will not solve anything, nor will feeding them food that they hate, other than teach them that you love the baby more than them. This is something that you are trying to avoid, therefore, the only new advise I can offer is have patience and understanding. All of this is new and also make sure that when he is acting out that he is not tired or hungry, this makes it worse. Try to make sure that you take care of his needs, when possible, before you sit down with baby. I can't tell you how much of a difference that will make. I have now gotten down, finally, a good schedule with my children. I come home and get my daughter her dinner, while she is eating, I feed the baby, and then we all play and get ready for their baths. If she had a good nap at the babysitters then this all goes smoothly, the days it doesn't you just have to reinforce that he/she is he big brother/sister and that you have to be nice to the baby and just roll with the punches, until bed time. Hope this helps! Keep your head up it gets better, so I've heard--lol!

Answer 3

I loved "Gramma Campbell's" answer. I will add a few suggestions to it, having gone through the same thing myself, a while back. I had my almost two year old help us get everything ready for the baby to get there. Since that time has passed, that wont help you. But it might help someone else. Now back to you, have him help you with the baby things. Make every effort to tell him he is the big brother and he needs to watch out for the baby because he is the BIG BOY and the baby can't do anything for it's self like he can. Have him get things for the baby for you. Let him hold and love on the baby (when he's calmed down some)! The more you let him know how important he is to you and the baby the more he will take on the role of the protector. Give him ton's of praise and try never to keep the baby away from him, he will resent it and act out even worse. I hope this helps. Remember all mothers now and to be. Mothers write on the hearts of their children things the world will never erase! God bless and best wishes.

Answer 4

It is very common for children to be jealous of the newborn. He was the center of your world for 2 years and now he has to share mommy with another child. Make sure you take time everyday to show you're love. When the baby is sleeping, read him a story, do an art project (make a Froot Loop necklace), and things that show he is the "big boy" (he can help mommy make dinner, keep letting him help with the baby...getting a diaper, let him pick out baby's outfit, help with the bath...) Tell him that he is so lucky because he is a big brother (maybe even get him a big brother shirt). He can do so much more than a baby because he is older.

Tell him things like "You did that by yourself! Look how high you climbed! You used so many colors on your picture!" These are great confidence builders and he will feel it is better to be older. If he keeps getting messages like these, he should start to feel more confident in his new world.

Empathize with him a lot. "I can tell you're really (upset, frustrated, mad, angry, sad). What can we do about that?" He will too to express himself instead of screaming.

Use logical and natural consequence with him. If he throws something, put it high were he can see but not reach it. Tell him "When you're ready to stop throwing you can have it back." If he is screaming, put him into an area away from you and say "When you are ready to stop screaming then you can come back with me." Keep a nightly routine before bed. Take a bath, read a story, hugs and kisses, and good night. If you are consistent, he should start to go to bed more easily. Explain to him that babies need to sleep because they are little and that if he lets the baby sleep you can spend more time with him. It will take some time. Good luck!

Answer 5

The little guy is jealous and misses the time when he was the only one! Ihave 3 kids, and I guess I just got lucky b/c my first 2 never acted this way when new sibling arrived. But, what may help is spending some quality time with just your 2 year old. Maybe get your hubby to watch your baby for a couple hours during nap time, and take your 2 year old out for some icecream or to the park...you get the idea. You do the same, so Daddy can take him out, too. Buy him something to help keep him entertained while baby is awake. Let your 2 year old help with the baby....make him feel more like he is a big brother....let him help with baths, feeding (if you are bottle-feeding), and maybe allow him to help you put the baby to bed.

Just include him more with the baby, and spend more one-on-one time with him. Good luck!

Answer 6

Children don't know what time is, so when you spend time with your boy (2 yr old), he enjoys it but then he sees you with the baby and it all goes away.
Adults can distinguish the difference between their time and another's time, your boy cannot. I know you are so frustrated.
You may need to reevaluate what sort of shows he watches? Children are great at manipulation. How about other siblings he hangs around? Try renting videos, and books about becoming an older brother. Also, try taking him away from the baby for an entire day.
My daughter does the same, but that is because she is autistic.
I would suggest an evaluation as well, do research first to see if you see simuliar traits.
This is new to him, this is new to you. I wish you much luck, just breath and take care of you as well.

Answer 7

Well, the its sad to say, but he 2. I had this same situation (my first 2 children are 15 months apart). I'm a stay at home father.

I really think it comes with the 2 year old territory, if he wasn't terrorizing you with your baby it would be something else. Really the best thing to do is distract him with something else. When he gets closer to 3 he can be discipled, just make sure you and your husband draw the line at the same place and he won't have to test you as much to see how you'll react.


Good Luck!

Answer 8

Can I just say that my sons are 2 1/2 yrs apart and my oldest really didn't go through much of this and I swear it was because my husband drilled into him that he was the older brother and he needed to protect his younger brother. He fed him and held him as much as possible and he really felt like it was his baby too. I know you are trying to do this, but make sure you also relate to how important the older sibling duties are-to this day he is very protective of his youger brother.

Answer 9

Read about `the terrible 2s` Please don`t spank your kid. He needs you and he is trying to let you know his needs but can`t explain them to you, therefore he acts out. Expend as much time with him; take turns with your husband, let the baby with a trusted relative and used your time just with the two years old...show a lot of affection and don`t make a big deal of his acting out...distract him, play with him, give him a lot of unconditional LOVE... Spanking a kid angry words, and body language will damage this kid`s psych.

Answer 10

Give him food he doesn't like, and nothing else, until he behaves. It's perfectly legal, it's not like you're starving him. Try to explain how important it is to be nice. Once he understands that tasty vittles are a privilege, and not his due, he'll have a change of heart. Don't let his tantrums shake your resolve. Also, make sure he knows you love him, I'm sure he's worried about the competition.