i messed up with my boyfriend and hurt him he is now saying he doesnt trust me. he seems genuinely upset crying etc. yet he cnat tell me whether he wants me or not. what is the best thing to do? he says he loves me but fears the girl i was a month ago and that it wont work because of it. he said he knows it will kill him if i was ot find soemone else and that he knows hes going to wnat to call. i cnat convince him that i wont hurt him so what can i do?? if anything. shall i gove hima time limit to decide i cant ahng here forvere waiting.
2006-07-06 00:26:02 · 7 answers · asked by lola f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
whats not over why? i have told him all tht
2006-07-06 00:31:24 · update #1
timelimit becuas eive done all that i can and am so sorry
2006-07-06 00:34:23 · update #2
this is terrible and very sad but similar to a situation i had. you need to sit him down and let him know that you are going to talk for a while. tell him that you are sorry and that you never ment to really hurt him let him know that you still want to be with him and things like that will not happen again but also let him know that you understand that he has to have time to think about this even if you dont understand how he is acting i am sure it will help if he knows that you are still behind him
2006-07-06 00:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by skits 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can say that will convince him of anything...we judge ourselves by out intentions, everyone else judges us by our actions....your actions have spoken...
All you can do is show him through your actions that you have changed and that may not happen overnight.
You have no right to put a time limit or conditions on anything ...you are the one who screwed up, not him..
If anyone has the right to put conditions or time limits on something that is him...try putting yourself in his shoes for a minute, and try to imagine what you would feel like.
You may have tarnished this relationship for a long time...if you were him, would you trust you...
It is not hopeless, but you need to SHOW him that you are truly sorry and prove to him that you have changed...and that may take time..don't expect it to happen right away..
If it is meant to be, it is meant to be..if not it is not...time will tell...until them, just keep doing the next RIGHT Thing...
I just read why you think a time limit is appropriate because you think you have done everything that you can do...so what it is not all about you...it is about him too and you have caused him a lot of pain...he has every right to take as much time as he wants.
What I want to know from you is there a pattern here...have you done this time and time again in other relationships...if the answer is yes, then chances are you will do it again with him.
You can't play people like you have done with him, and expect him to put up with it... if you have done this before with other guys then the problem is YOU, and you should let him alone, and let him find someone who will not treat him this way.
You are now acting like he is the one to blame, so now you are going to give him an ultimatim...that is so much ****..go look in the mirror...he should be the one putting conditions and time limits on things not you.
Maybe he does not deserve you at all..now that I have read your additional comments..look in the mirror and look at yourself and your past relationships...chances are good you have done this before and will do it again.
2006-07-06 07:34:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to start over from the beginning, right from scratch. Anything you said & did before doesn't mean much to him right now, if anything at all. You have to show respect for the fact that he feels really hurt. Tell him he can call you anytime of the day or night. Tell him how you feel. Tell him how you're so sorry, and you feel so dumb about the whole thing. Tell him you want his forgiveness, that you really love him and if you could undo the mistake, you'd do it in a heartbeat. Then talk about starting over. Do you feel like crying about it? SHOW HIM.
2006-07-06 09:10:06 · answer #3 · answered by Me in Canada eh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to let him go. He deserves someone better than you. I don't say that to be mean, I say it because of your immature attitude. You messed up with you boyfriend (I'm assuming infidelity based on the way you phrased the problem above), and instead of wondering how you can work on the relationship, you are worried about what time limit to put on things because you don't want to wait around forever?!?
Do him a huge favor and say goodbye.
2006-07-06 07:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by Dolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same situation where i messed up and my boyfriend didnt trust me anymore, we were willing to work things out but he never helped, so i just gave up, but with u if u really love him and he loves u still i think u guys should try and work things out.
2006-07-06 07:37:43 · answer #5 · answered by pOOhPhAT 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then its not over.
2006-07-06 07:30:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep silent for ever
2006-07-06 07:33:32 · answer #7 · answered by Rashil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋