dont give me that whole phrase: "if i love that person i would tell them" becasue i do love that person, and that's the reason i dont want to tell them.
just trying to find a way without hurting feelings
2006-07-06 00:00:30 · 17 answers · asked by the questioner 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
keep nagging, it work with me
2006-07-06 00:02:36 · answer #1 · answered by REAPER_ENTERPRISES 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to find another way, without hurting he/her feeling's. But the more you keep going around, the more you feel gulity thinking about it. Stop playing ring around the rosie. Thats not doing nothing at all.
Come out and talk to him/her about it. Let him/her know by what he/she is doing. It hurting he/her body more every day. Not only he/she smokes, but also everyone can get second hand smoking from him/her.
Some people thinks, well they just stand away from them a little. The smoke won't hurt them one bit. Bull crap, second hand smoke, can kill you, just the same as the cig yourself . Then kids being around it, not going to make it even better.
Tell him/she that the lungs are in danger. All that tar and nicotine is hurting the body within. That you don't won't to lose him/her to lung cancer.
Then get down to his/her drinking habit. No matter what type he/she drinks. It going to hurt he/she as well. You want to see him/she be there with you for a long time. Talk him/her into going to AA. Or get some help from a therpist.
Family matters most, and it hurts to watch him/her hurt them selfs. Don't take the bottle or can away. thinking well he/she can't drink now. Thats not going to work one bit. He/she can always get more, or have someone get it for him/her.
Be their friend, and lean him/her a hand when going thru it. Never leave their side, when they need you the most. If he/she had both habits for a long time. Then it going to take a good while. Before he/she is off the bandwagon. Make him/her take baby steps.
List him/her into a program. Where there are others, going thru the same trouble.
Good Luck!!!
2006-07-06 01:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by kygl28 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't nag! it's the worse and always ends up with the person you lvoe feeling a greater need to drink/smoke.
Try telling them that you feel really concerned, love them very much and worry about them. Speak calmly, show them you really care about their health, don't want to lose them!
Ultimately ... it is their decision. They may agree to quit whatever they are doing so you stop worrying but i'm afraid and in both cases ... it's an addiction that is impossible to beat unless the person makes a conscious effort to really work at it and give up.
Best wishes
2006-07-06 00:06:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you the person who wants to stop to smoke or do you want a family member to do that?
Just say it to that person and explain why; smell, health, money and all the reasons you have.
Good luck!!!
2006-07-06 00:09:15 · answer #4 · answered by mu_sa_kossan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would you like that person to stop smoking or drinking?
Does the person get drunk? Is the smoking causing immediate health issues?
Well, I drink and smoke, and if my boyfriend had to tell me that I should stop [he has told me to stop smoking], I would want him to sit me down, and tell me why he wants me to stop. You should tell the person what it does to you when you see the person doing it, express your feelings. And maybe if they understand that its hurting you to see them drink/smoke they will stop. But you shouldnt expect them to stop immediately, it takes time.
And if that doesnt work, take the advice above, nag and nag.
Good Luck
2006-07-06 00:03:21 · answer #5 · answered by Angelus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have the same case. My father too was a drunkard. Many times I told him to stop drinking and smoking, lectured him about the negative effects, but I only failed. Then one time, I smoke and drink in front of him. My father got mad, I told him "if you don't want me to do that again, pls. stop it also". Then slowly, slowly, my father changed from 1 box of cigar to 1 stick everyday, from 2bottles to one until he stopped.
2006-07-06 00:39:47 · answer #6 · answered by *Jumeirah* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of how you tell the person you are probably going to hurt their feelings anyways so just let them know how you feel about the situation. Trust me i know i have repeatedly asked my mom to stop drinking and all i get is an angry response from her.
Maybe your outcome will differ from mine but if u don't say anything the person will not know how it is affecting u.
2006-07-06 00:38:53 · answer #7 · answered by jill1rocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
telling someone too stop smoking or drinking is def.not gonna hurt theyre feelings. Just say straight up too stop..its unhealthy
2006-07-06 00:04:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might seem a strange answer but My mum nagged my dad to stop drinking and he never did until three months after she died. It's hard but just don't nagg.
2006-07-06 01:11:14 · answer #9 · answered by amanda w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. You don't own that person's life, and so you can't dictate. You can express your feelings, 'I wish you would quit' but you cannot say 'Quit' If the behaviour is really troublesome to you, tell them of your plans to separate yourself from them and their behaviour, and then carry out those plans. Express your feelings, but know that the only behaviour that you can really improve is your own.
2006-07-06 00:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by Arman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u love them u must be able to help them so i don't think u would their feelings. Just have a general talk wit the person.
2006-07-06 00:07:30 · answer #11 · answered by fazzy0323 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋