Church wedding (white wedding) is every womans dream, and all my life, I have always dream and hope I will have a Church wedding. But the man i intend 2 marry is not a Christian and as such doesnt intend 2 have a Church wedding but rather wants to have a Court marriage. I dont know. What can i do.
2006-07-04 22:44:24 · 23 answers · asked by Anne O 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hey, I'm sort of having the same problem but I think I have found a way to resolve it. My fiance comes from a very traditional family where there is church wedding and EVERY family member and friend is invited. I am not religious, have a very small family and a very small group of friends. I do not want to be married with any religious ties because I feel marriage should be based on love and devotion and not the words of one god. I also do not want to force my future children into a particular religion...I want them to be able to choose their own path just as I was given that option.
My fiance was initially set on having a church wedding but we have come up with an alternative. We are planning to get married with our immediate families present on a cruiseship. We would like to do a Eurpoean/Russian or southern cruise. We both love to travel and so do our families. This is a time for us to celebrate but also partake in something that we all love. We haven't crossed the hurdle of telling his parents yet but at least we have both agreed that is what we want to do. When we return we plan to have a party for all our friends and families so to make sure that they are included in some way in our special time.
If you can't decide what to do, I suggest finding something completely different from your two options but making it something you both love. I have come to the realization that this is our day and our families are merely guests at our big day so if they wish to be part of the day then they will let us do what will make us happy.
Just remember, you don't want to regret this day...it's supposed to be the happiest day of your life so do what will make BOTH of you happy.
Good luck!! And have fun!!
2006-07-06 05:34:05 · answer #1 · answered by PAWS 5 · 4⤊ 4⤋
don't let people on her make you feel bad for wanting to have the white wedding that every girl dreams of...chances are if you explain to him that this is what you've been dreaming of since you were a little girl than he will go along with it. if he can't understand that then thats a problem. besidews you can do both. you can go have the court marriage where you sign the papers and everything so that you are officially married than you can have a church wedding where you have mass and such. he has to realize that religion obviously means something to you and just because its a church marriage doesn't make it any less recognizable to the court system/government. Good Luck!!!
2006-07-06 03:04:52 · answer #2 · answered by gcpom02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok then what about choosing another place other than church or registry office? What about paying for a registrar to marry u in say a manor or in your own home maybe? they can do that although i dont know about cost.
You really have to compromise on that score, marriage is for life and its a bad start if u both don't get the wedding day you want
Talk about it, and failing that say stuff it book an all inclusive deal abroad with the whole wedding package included and get married elsewhere
2006-07-04 22:52:49 · answer #3 · answered by Scatty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your fiance does not realize what is important to you now he will never know after you get married. Are you a Christian? This is something else that may pose a problem for the two of you in the future. If a Church wedding is important to you than he should abide by your wishes.
2006-07-05 00:39:36 · answer #4 · answered by goldengirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can still have a white wedding and bridesmaids and stuff without getting married in a church, you can still get married in a non christian church if that's what you really want, talk to him and see if hes up for that, at the end of the day its not the end of the world if you don't get wed in a church, surely its the marriage that matters the most
2006-07-04 22:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by jojo78 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a good test of your relationship, what is more important, the fact that you are marrying the man you love or the being the centre of attention for one day? Marriage is about compromise, how about you get married at the court and then have a church blessing afterwards? He must also compromise, not just you!
2006-07-04 22:49:58 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your intended would be comfortable having the ceremony in a non-denominational chapel by a celebrant? Or in a very inclusive church, like Unity or Unitarian? That way you get the look and feel of a church, but your intended is not put into a position of seeming to endorse something in which he does not believe.
2006-07-05 01:32:11 · answer #7 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, are you sure you are marrying the right men? This issue might become more difficult over time. If he honored you he woulld give you the wedding that you dream of. It seems like he is drawing a line in the sand and you either give up your dreams or you have a cold unromantic wedding in some office.
What else would he demand you to change becase he is in control. I can't see why it would be so hard for him to give you the traditional wedding you have desired all your ilfe.
Rethink your decision gf.
It seems like its his way or no way. Why do you have to give up your dreams for the most important day of your life.
2006-07-04 22:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is my take on "big church weddings" They are a waste of money. Especially if you're fairly young. I mean, come on, you could put a down payment on a house or a car with the $10,000 it costs to put on a wedding these days. Even if your parents say they'll pay for it you should just ask them for the money as a wedding gift and use it for something useful.
2006-07-04 22:48:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you a Christian? If you are, then why are you even thinking of marrying a non-Christian? If you aren't a Christian, what's the point of a wedding where you make promises before a God that you don't trust and follow? A court wedding where you affirm your lifelong comittment to each other sounds good to me.
2006-07-04 23:02:59 · answer #10 · answered by john_on_road 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you compromise? Maybe have a civil marriage and then a church blessing? My father is a vicar, and he will not marry non-Christians and even then, they have to go through extensive marriage counselling prior to the event. From what I understand, many churches do the same or similar.
2006-07-04 22:47:57 · answer #11 · answered by Disgruntled Biscuit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋