How should a believing homosexual apply the Serenity Prayer to his life?

Question

I thought it was from the Bible but apparently it was written in 1926 by a guy named Reinhold Neibuhr. No problem, it's still beautiful and wonderfully human. It reads (in part):

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Famous words and very good words.

If someone says 'I struggled with my homosexuality but I realised it was who I am', let's give him the benefit of the doubt. In light of that, how should he interpret this prayer?

And how should society interpret it?

I think it's a good question - try to give it a thoughtful answer.

Peace.

Answer 1

Like with all biblical words, even if they are beautiful, they can be used in two ways.

the wrong way:
grant me the serenity to accept that i can't change how wrong i obviously are, but i must change my horrible sexual drive and i need the wisdom to know wrong from right. i am a filthy human being!!

the right way:
grant me the serenity to accept myself the way i am, the courage to face a judgmental part of society and the wisdom to difer loving human beings from hateful human beings.

of course it's better to explain this prayer the right way :)

Some of my best friends are gay, they taught me that this prayer can almost become a way of life, but never works 100%. It's still difficult to see wrong from right, when it comes to the people they have to face in society.The variation in human beings is too big. There are the openly supportive people (like myself), and the biblical zealots who will spread hatred anyway. The difficulty lies somewhere between those two, the people who will never openly discriminate, never openly condemn homosexuality. Yet, they also won't hire them for a job, will have difficulty working with them, don't really like a gay person in their sports team (eewww, showering with a gay man after sports...), they rather have no gay teacher for their kids, etc, etc.

These are the real people that a gay person has to face on a day to day basis. The biblical zealots he/she doesn't even have to fight, they can never win anyway, and i think they don't even feel the need to. In this world there will always also be people who hate me, and who cares. It's easier to deal with hate when it's out in the open.

It's the hidden discrimination that's always the hardest to face, for every minority in society, not only the homosexuals.

And to be honest, it takes a strong person to be completely without prejudice or discrimination. I consider myself an open-minded person, who will always respect others, will never judge based on any looks, race or whatever. But sometimes i also do it, and it always scares myself the minute i notice myself doing it.

When i step on a plane, specially since 9/11, and the chair next to me is taken by a muslim, i notice my mind drifting in the wrong way for a second. I know it's fear without a real basis, but my mind does it. At the same time i wanna kick myself, and i try to think how i would feel being a muslim in a plane in this period.

Usually i talk on planes, because well, i always talk. And i notice myself doing it again, in the wrong manner. I start to talk to the muslim man, and i realise that my mind tells me that i'm not allowed to think my neighbour is a jerk, i do respect him and his faith, but my mind sets different standards for different groups. I mix up respect and liking. I notice my mind tells me that i should like him, no matter what. Which is also a form of discrimination.

If it would have been a white, ugly guy, like myself, i would have found it easier to think he's a jerk, at least when he acted like one.

Even if i consider myself open-minded, i also realise that it's almost impossible to go through life without any form of prejudism. It always makes me see how horrible it must be to be in a minority and having to face that prejudice day by day.

Answer 2

My son,

God created you and what you are is what god wanted you to be.
You were born that way and it is your destiny to liv e your life as a Gay Male. People who rely on the bible as the be all and end all of life are cretins and know nothing. There is nothing in the ten commandments which says thou should not be homosexual and that is good enough for me.

Sure there are quotes in the bible such as "Man should not sleep with Man" but that can be countered by "And David said the Johnathan I love my wife but I love thee more."

Be honest and faithful all your life because God is our father and always will be. God is an understanding God, after all he forgives those who ask forgiveness, even those who have taken life.

I am Gay myself and an ordained Minister, just have faith in the Lord and forget how society interpret things. You are what you are so hold your head high. Only Bigots like some of those who have written in answer to your question will ever show disdain.
These Bigots must ask themselves this question "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" That will shut them up.

God Bless you and Keep you

Father Graham

Answer 3

The prayer can be used by any person from any background if they choose to apply it to their life. It is supposed to give you the strength to triumph over adversity, know the battles to fight and the ones to walk away from.

You could apply the prayer to your situation by:-

Accepting that you are homosexual
Having the courage to stand up proud in the face of your critics
Having the wisdom to know that you can't change everyone's opinion and your own is the one that counts.

Society is so diverse nowadays that a person's sexual orientation should not matter and should not need a special prayer. The prayer should be for adversity however there are still bigots around so perhaps it is useful here.

Answer 4

Ive not considered before how gay person might apply the SP, but Im reaching the swift conclusion that its probably the same way anyone else would.

One can apply the SP to one's life whatever orientation one might be. Since you asked in connection with being a gay Christian then the real question might be is there something about your sexuality that the God of your understanding is unhappy about?

The important thing is that the god referred to in the SP is the god of your own understanding - a god solely there for us. This is extremely important. Most people who use the SP spend many years trying to find this god.

Let me give you an example of this search in progress for you.

Many answers here have used a very hateful tone. The God of these peoples understanding must be a vengeful and hateful God. What we see of them and their god though is a few lines of text on a computer screen. We do not and will not ever live in their world with their god, only our own. Now go back and ask who we are asking to do the accepting. Yes that right ourselves not these people.

Now that could be a round about way of saying ignore everyone else and go with your hunches but its far more subtle than that. Its about reaching an accomodation with God inside yourself about whats your and whats his. Whats theirs is unimportant.

Ultimately no one can answer this question for you, although I would say that your God will not give you any situation in life that proves to be untimately unbearable. And the more unbearable it can seem from time to time the more rewarding the spiritual growth that will ultimately accrue.

Answer 5

One word, faith... to God there is no difference between what can be changed and what must be accepted. God can do anything. ANYTHING... including changing a homosexual into a heterosexual and letting the spiritually misguided be tormented by demons of hatred and blindness because they choose to ACCEPT what is easy rather than try to understand what is difficult. But nothing is impossible. However I do think think Christ would advise us to attempt the improbable before the impossible. Sexual identity and sexuality are almost fully formed before we can either walk or talk, but the human heart, even that of the fundamentalist, is susceptible to the evolving truth of love all the time. And that's all God ultimately wants, our love.

Answer 6

Homosexuals should just ignore what the believers in the various sky pixies reckon their particular pixie's position on homosexuality is, as it's prejudiced, hate filled, rhetorical nonsense. Why should anybody else worry what two consenting adults get up to in private? How can it possibly hurt you if two strangers to you want to have sex together in private?

To the people on this site who seemingly check in their capacity for free-thinking at the door, and adopt the attitude that the bible says it's wrong therefore it is wrong, do you also believe, as the bible says (Leviticus 24: 10-16) that wearing cotton/polyester blend underwear, for example, is a sin? How about companion planting in your vegetable bed, an excellent organic method of pest control according to gardeners, a sin according to the bible? (Leviticus 19:19).

Answer 7

A "Believing Homosexual" is a contradiction.
You do not believe the Bible. The Bible is truth...all of it.

Homosexuality is wrong and taught against in the Bible.

You may be a spiritual person, but not a Christian.

Christians do not accept their sin. They are to fight it with all their strength.

The idea that you can have God and the sin you love is not correct.

The Christian life is self denial....not self acceptance.

Matthew 16:24 (NKJV)
Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.

Answer 8

The Roman Catholic Church requires homosexuals to practice chastity in the understanding that homosexual acts are "intrinsically disordered", and "contrary to the natural law". It insists that all are expected to only have heterosexual relations and only in the context of a marriage, describing homosexual tendencies as "a trial", and stressing that people with such tendencies "must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity." Distinguishing between "deep-seated homosexual tendencies" and those that are "only the expression of a transitory problem." Therefore Catholic teaching says that those who call themselves homosexual are not in a state of "sin" but those homosexuals who act upon their nature and perform homosexual practices are morally disordered and perform acts against God and nature and the sin of Sodom is classed as one of the 4 sins crying to Heaven for Vengeance.

Answer 9

It may well be a lovely prayer but any believer of any sexual persuasion should concern him/herself with the teaching of Jesus before the teaching/opinion of man. Whatever I face in life, I ask myself, 'what does the Bible say about it?' before I do anything. This particular prayer puts 'I' at the centre, but God can change things that we cannnot, it would be dangerous to 'accept' something that the bible says is not of God. His grace is sufficient to forgive all sins and help us who sin back on our feet each time we fall.

Answer 10

That is Neibuhr's prayer. If someone makes that his/her prayer and really means it, he/she should have the courage to change the things needed to be changed. Then he/she can not continue as a homo. In Christianity there is no such thing as a "believing homo". Either a person is a homo or he/she is a Christian. It is a lame excuse that they are made that way and can not change.