I'm 26 years old, haven't dated a girl in 4 years, I'm still a virgin (not by choice), am I a worthless loser?

Question

I'm a lonely guy living with my parents and working for an architecture firm that specializes in industrial design. I'm not super sexy or unnattractive, just plain. People say that your net worth is never in other's valuation but your own. Regardless I still feel worthless. What is expected of a man to accomplish in today's social hierarchy. How is a man's success defined?

Answer 1

well, are u????u gotta answer this question by urself!it seems to me that U ARE!cuz u don't believe in urself...ppl who believe in themselves are successful! stop thinkin about these craps and move on!it's never late...u're only 26! u gotta find urself first then u will be attractive in ur own way!

Answer 2

Well, I am sure you are not a loser. Don't let your current situation let you down!

Can you support yourself and live independently? If you can, then I guess it is better if you move out of your parents' house. And about not having a date for 4 years, that means you have to go out more often. Go out and have good, clean fun. Go to bars, resorts, whatever. And smile. A good smile never fails. You never know, it might help you win a girl. Be friendly. Pamper yourself. Have a new haircut that will suit you. You never know, but maybe all you need is some changes in yourself and in your life.

Good luck! Heads up, man. Don't give up. You're still young. And I do hope you find the right girl for you.

Answer 3

I think you know the answer already... your self-worth should not be based on societal norms or views. In many other cultures you would even be one of the most sought after men of the villiage....
All this means is that your living situation and sexual history should not determine how others view you, and especially shouldn't determine what you think of yourself. You sound like a really honest, intelligent and caring guy, so give yourself a chance! Go for it... there is only one life. Don't waste another second of it.
As for how to fix what you view as a problem...
After a certain age, girls are never 100% comfortable dating a man who is still a virgin or still lives at home. Women are attracted to men who can take charge, prove they can provide (stability/home-wise) for her and can care for her needs in bed. If you can show that to a woman despite living at home and never really doing the deed, you'll be fine.
Otherwise, I would suggest getting your own place for a few months and experimenting. There are always casual dating web sites or phone lines (in major cities) and you can even find a girl willing to teach you. (Hookers are a bad idea... and expensive.)

Either way, its MOST IMPORTANT for you to understand that if you have an attitude like you are worthless, then thats how you will seem to women. Know you are hot, know you are powerful and know you are desired. If you do this without any self-doubt, the friends, the girls, and the happiness will follow.

Answer 4

Hey... don't be so hard on yourself. They say that "life is what you make it" and I believe it's true. If you feel worthless, do something about it. Volunteer for an organization who has a cause that's close to your heart. You will see that by helping others you learn to help yourself. You will not feel worthless if you're doing something important, and this will also help you meet new people and make new friends.
Maybe you should think about leaving your parents house. You are definitely old enough, and it's time you left their protective nest and stepped out into the world.
Yes, it's scary, but that's life. We all have things to get over, we all have fear, and nothing is ever easy, for anyone. Once you realize this, you will realize that it's not as hard as you think. Get out there and start your life.
Good luck.

Answer 5

living at home is not the most attractive thing you can do, I would suggest if you have the means you find your own place. Learning you can make it on your own is a great confidence booster, in turn women will see your a confident man and find that attractive. It's not about being super sexy or having a lot of money. Be funny, be real, be yourself, and be confident that your a pretty good guy. Everything else will fall in line after that.

Answer 6

who cares whether or not you are a virgin? i'm sure you are somewhat a virgin by choice. we all know it ain't hard to get laid. you're probably just picky which is a good thing. you are NNNaught a worthless loser, and you shouldn't be feeling that way. You should move out of your parents' house and get more involved with life-it's really hard to date with parents in the same home anyway. a man's success, in my mind, is defined by his integrity. you can be sexy-you just have to embrace your sexuality/masulinity. be happy you are a man, you own a penis, you have manly shoulders and a man body. that's awesome and that's what women like! women also like men that can talk about certain things with them, maybe make 'em laugh.....
as for your 'being plain' complex: i like somewhat boring men. it's weird, i know. but i'm usually attracted the the guy in the corner that wouldn't ask me out in a million years. you know what you need to change. you are not worthless, you just gotta put some more effort into life to rid yourself of the lonliness.
god bless you

Answer 7

Well it sounds like you are successful at the firm. How bout first moving out of your parent's house? Trust me, a girl doesn't want to come back to the guy's place and have parents there too. Get out more. Make friends. Meet new people. Think positive. Things will move forth from there.

Answer 8

If you were my friend I'd get you laid. You need it bad.

Guys who don't get laid tend to think a lot about the world as a social hierarchy, but it's obvious that this is so because this is how high school was. This immature view of the world is easy to fall back on because its an excuse for not meeting new people, because forces beyond your own don't allow you to. You have to realize that women everywhere are looking for that guy and know that acting like they are in high school will leave them lonely. Find any girl that you are attracted to, and dwell on her and your present, not your past, not your future. Once you establish you guys are on the same page and not thinking about what crap happened in the past and what crap could happen, think about what crap can't happen as long as you two don't allow it.

Be happy.

Find friends like me who will get you laid and lose this, or at least set you up on a date.

BTW: Girls thinking I'm shallow for wanting a guy to get laid... trust me its worked WONDERS on my friends' self-esteem and if given the option I'd do it again for them. They deserve happiness and freedom from this kind of thinking.

Answer 9

My friend say yes(to you being a loser).....lol j/k he also says a man's sucess he defined by the size of his pen!s.lol


But in all seriousness, no your not a loser, you just haven;t found the right person yet. Maybe you should move out of your parents and get your place. 26 is a little old to be living with mommy and daddy. Good Luck to you!!!

Answer 10

you are not a loser,my boyfriend didnt lose his virginity until he was 29 and he is the sweetest nicest man i have ever met.he feels worthless because of this. In a girls eye(generalising)it is better to be with with a virgin or a guy who hasnt been with heaps of girls.Be proud of yourself and who you are, who defines success??Your time will come be you not what you think society expects.

Answer 11

no you are not a loser. 26 is still young. you'll find the right partner in the future. but for now, continue developing yourself to be a caring, loving, and responsible person. always remember that the past geeks are the future tycoons and shapers of the world. think of gates, buffet, warren, etc. you are right, your own worth is your business and nobody else's. good luck. cheers!