Well, i live in my family, I have a brother 2 years older than me, he is very much into troubles and he causes many problems with my parents and me and every one he knows on this whole planet, the problem is that, he makes all of the house live their life unhappy, there is nothing to do to make him good, everything failed to fix him up, he likes to quarel and argue too much with my parents, this thing is since a v long time and my family life is v weak, knowing that i have millions of frnds and i dont face and problem or feel anything bad when i am away from this house, when i return to it i wish i find another place to stay in, i even went to the university in another city branch because i dont want to live in that inviroment, and all of that is because of my bro, now i must complete the univ in my city, what will i do in my whole life????
2006-07-04 20:15:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i have been living the same as you for my life too. My sister is exactly the same. To be honest there is not much you can do except lift your head and spirit and live your life without turning around to worry about him. Disregard him from your life as if he is just another aqcaintance. At the end of the day he will be the one lonely and depressed because you were able to reach your ambitions and he ended up with nobody but himself to talk to you. If he is as bad as you say he is then all his friends and the rest of your family will be able to see that his attitude and behaviours are tiring everybody out and they are to ashamed and heartbroken to continue any form of relationship with him so they will eventually turn their backs on him too. Then he will wake up and smell the daisies and he will be begging to come back into your life. If i were you i would continue on doing what you are doing, complete uni and just forget about everything bad he has done, doing or about to do. Live your own life not his and oneday it all be over and you will be smiling at yourself. Just remember everything turns out good in the end. and in the future he will grow out of it.
2006-07-04 20:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by ness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, take some time away from home, it will help clear your mind and ease any negative attitudes you may have picked up from your brother. Second, you must come back and confront him, only when you are ready and prepared for anything he will do or say. Write a list of your demands and memorize it. Never use the word "You" in your conversation, like "You are pissing me off", "You are a liar". No, you must use "I" or "we", like "We feel hurt by your actions", "I know you are a good man inside. I know that you can change if you try." Finally, you must accept whatever the outcome is, he might decide to move out of the house, let him go, because this is what would happen naturally and you can't change a person.
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-07-05 03:32:44 · answer #2 · answered by Whitman Lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be what you're brother is now, there are a couple of things you could do. The first is to let nature take it's course and eventually he'll end up doing prison time for taking things too far. Prison will straighten his attitude out as will a simple *** kicking. Have you ever tried slapping him around?
The second is the silent treatment. And I mean be silent- if he is around you, don't acknowledge his existence in any way, shape or form and encourage your parents to do the same thing. There's nothing in the world that can be more damaging to someone when they need an attitude adjustment than to become personae non gratia. Tell him that you're not going to treat him like a human being if he's not going to act like one and tell him that until he starts to act more like a brother and less like an asshole, you're not going to talk to him- period.
2006-07-05 03:31:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should try to speak with your whole family, including your brother. But for talking you will need a little ball. The game is like this: who has the ball, speaks.If you do not solve anything, try to give him another place to live for his own (rent) and help him get a job, so he can live on his own. Maybe seing life like this, he will become a better peson ;)
2006-07-05 04:00:18 · answer #4 · answered by ota marmota 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the principle of Tough Love has to be put into practice in your family. Your brother should not be allowed to make everyone elses' life miserable. Together with your parents I suggest you ask him to leave and live somewhere else. Unless he is willing to change in the areas he needs to change then he should leave. It may help to write down what needs to change in his behaviour. Be firm but don't yell or call him names. If your parents are reluctant to take that stand or if your brother refuses to change how he acts in the house or if he refuses to leave....then you may need to leave for your own health and well-being.
Your brother may need councelling to get to the core of what is wrong with him but he definitely should not be allowed to continue to behave this way and he should not be allowed to continue to ruin your family life. I will also pray about this situation and ask that you find the courage to do what is best for you all. I pray your situation will change very soon and that your brother will change for the better too.
2006-07-05 03:54:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same exactly the same problem. just it is my parents fighting. all u can do is trust in God, carry on in ur life. try 2 stay away from ur house as much as possible. come back in the house when every1 is asleep, and leave the same way. spend ur free time @ ur friends. dont let it interrupt ur studies, cuz that is all ur gonna have 4 da rest of ur life down here! Good Luck!
2006-07-05 03:35:10 · answer #6 · answered by Caz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I know its hard but everything he says is a choice if he likes fighting with your parents maybe they engage him or maybe hes not happy about something hes not telling anyone. Does he have a job is he depressed these are things you have to look at there's nothing wrong with him hes choosing this maybe not consciously but.........e-mail me if you'd like to talk more time_rift@hotmail.com
2006-07-05 03:24:56 · answer #7 · answered by T.J. W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After graduation, get a job, bring your parents and leave your bro.
2006-07-05 03:24:49 · answer #8 · answered by Jol Q and A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can suffer with it and finish your degree, or you can leave and try to make it on your own. Personally, I'd just suffer since you'll be busy with school and friends, and finish your degree.
2006-07-05 03:19:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don’t worry just pray to god and every thing will be ok. trust me.
2006-07-05 03:25:31 · answer #10 · answered by mohit_mumboy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋