Hello. My 30 yr old daughter is getting married and well its making me nervous. Im her dad and shes my "little girl" and I feel like I'm losing her. She still lives at home we're very close. Don't get me wrong she doesn't mooch off me. Shes a lawyer and very smart and independent. She pays rent and her own way. But we're comfortable enough to live together.
We would come home from work and I would rub her feet and she would tell me about her day. We would have dinner together. We'd take vacations together.
But after she gets married she'll be doing all those things with her husband! Not me.
How do I get over losing her and no longer being #1
2006-07-04 20:12:37 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
spend time wif sum1 else. ur best friend maybe?
2006-07-04 20:19:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a father and I wonder about this sme question, to a degree.
I think the answer has a couple of facets. First, you need to recognize and remember that her personal growth requires her to move on. Frankly, she should have probably moved on just a bit before now.
Secondly, your personal growth also requires that she move on. You've gotten too comfortable accepting things as they've been. Go out and do something different with your life. Volunteer! There are lots of worthy organizations that could use your assistance. Find a hobby or interest that has fascinated you, and spend some time on that. Maybe it's time to start dating again. There are lots of things you can do to expand your interests and focus your energies.
2006-07-04 20:22:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
please don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you and your daughter have more of a husband/wife relationship. (without the sexual part, of course.) MAybe you need to find someone (a woman you can have a romantic relationship with...) to share those things with.
I recently got married, and my relationship with my dad didn't change at all. Maye you could replace rubbing her feet with a nightly phone call to talk about your day, and maybe you should still plan a yearly vacation. Just don't be too needy and overbearing, or you'll only push her away.
2006-07-04 20:20:20 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, this is life, one day you were that man who went to take the daughter of another man, and the man who took your daughter away from you shall also have a daughter one day and will be taken from him, that is life
But as long as you had a good relation with your daughter, she will never forget you, whenever she will be free she will be there for you, you will spend lots of time together, specially that she will have children and you must be with her as much as you could to help her raise them up, just think that you have done your life message in raising a successfull girl and making her get married, that is the biggest honour in your life, I hope this marriage would be the best event in your life and i am sure it will be
2006-07-04 20:22:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have problems and need to get a life. Let your daughter have her life and stop making her feel guilty for breaking free from your chains of guilt. She's 30 years old! Reading your post, it seems as though you have a deep sexual need for your daughter and is hiding it deep inside. Rubbing her feet and asking her about her day in court? Taking vacation together? How weired is that?
2006-07-04 20:21:31 · answer #5 · answered by Inquisit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mum used to say that being a parent is all about ensuring that your kids are happy, well taken care of, learn and understand morale values and achieve success in life (of course including all the rest of the stuffs like education, love, etc). And I never quite understand that until I have my own kids. When I see my children smiling and being happy, I know I must have done something right. In your instance, from what you have gathered, you have established a high quality relationship with your daughter. Her success in life is your accomplishment as a father to her. Don't feel sad about losing her because you are not. You will always be #1 in her heart. It is just that now she has to share her love for you with another person in her life that will become as important as you are to her. The feeling is not one sided and I am very sure she will miss you as much as you miss her. You should enjoy and retain as much happiness with her now as you can and keep those fond memories with you. Tap yourself 3 times on your shoulder for a job well done for bringing happiness to your daughter, and giving her a life that she will be happy, care for and love by others. We all have to look ahead in life and someday, you will think back of these fond memories that will send warmth and love to your heart with a smile. Cherish the precious moment of giving your daughter away on her wedding day!
2006-07-04 20:39:37 · answer #6 · answered by Ge 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! What a daughter you've got! Get job, Dad!
Now, continue to admire her while she flies.
You're still going to be a proud Dad.
Hey, why don't you spruce yourself up and go out more with your wife / girl.......... you know start a new chapter in your own life. Make your daughter proud.
2006-07-04 20:17:27 · answer #7 · answered by My Big Bear Ron 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no, she helped enable you.
You stayed single, and she let that go on.
It time for some changes.
Do you attend church? A very good place to meet
some nice women.
Make your first dates, lunch dates. No pressure
doing that.
Your daughter could help you meet someone.
Never feel that you're too old to.
There's someone out there waiting. ;-)
2006-07-04 20:33:43 · answer #8 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had a father like you...You will always be #1..You are what started it all,made her a woman..I know it's hard to let go,but your not..Her husband will just be extended family.. You gain a son..She'll still call you,see you,visit,tell you she loves you,hug you etc..It doesn't stop...She'll have grandbabies and you'll see beautiful offspring,have cookouts,outings and family time..It gets better,not worse..Think positive,not negative..
2006-07-04 20:22:51 · answer #9 · answered by blueboyswoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like youve raised a great daughter,let her spread her wings,of course you know she will always be daddys girl,and now give you grandchildren to love just as much as you do her.
2006-07-05 09:42:38 · answer #10 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was initially tempted to say "GET A LIFE!" but you probably had one before you had your child. So I'll say "reclaim your life!" You are trying to live vicariously through your daughter, and that's not a healthy relationship.
2006-07-04 20:18:56 · answer #11 · answered by ladybugewa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋