im about to be 20 and I like a woman who is around 30. She is a counselor, and im a student a worker. We both work in a community college, in the same office. I like her, but I dont know what to do? We are both single. Should I avoid these feelings or let her know? Will she laugh or actually go on a date with me? what to do? I need help because this has been on my mind since i meet her.
2006-07-04 19:32:12 · 13 answers · asked by wiggles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
YOU SHOULD LET HER KNOW JUST TRY AND BE PROFFESSIONAL ABOUT IT BECAUSE IF SHE DOESNT FEEL THE SAME WAY THE TWO OF YOU STILL HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER
2006-07-04 19:36:50 · answer #1 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing ventured! Nothing gained! Please realize that your question, born of uncertainty, stems from a social double standard. Reverse the circumstances. In other words, if you were 30 and she was about 20 would you have similar hestitation? Consider this, if you were both about 20, would that fact improve the probability of her accepting your offer for a date? What if both of you were about 30? I think you get my point. At this stage, age is irrelevant. The fact that you are co-workers looms as a far more important issue.Consider several questions in that regard:
1. Is this woman professionally in a direct line of supervision over your job? If that be the case, and she turns down your proposal, her decision probably has nothing to do with you, but rather with the fact that the professional risk isn't worth it.
2. How does your community college, where you both work, define "unwanted sexual advances?" You must KNOW this answer before pursuing anything with this woman.
3. Finally, as unimportant as it might sound, you must ask: is it possible that a relationship with this woman might harm your future in ways that you can't imagine right now?
With satisfactory answers to those questions, you should then determine if she willing, first of all, just to be friends with you. I believe that a romantic "move" can be best made from a foundation of friendship, rather than on the basis of physical attraction. How? Propose that the two of you do what friends do-e.g. have lunch together, share interests, get to know each other. Face it, you have plenty of time. You are young enough to not have to rush into anything, and she's older enough to know better.
I hope this helps.
2006-07-05 03:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by mcjordansr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, we can't tell you whether she will laugh or not, or whether she would go on a date with you or not.
Second, age (to adults) means almost nothing. But it is a good point that counselors can't date students.
Maybe you could tell her she is a pretty special person, and tell her why you think so. Or tell her you admire her because (and fill in the blank). If she talks down to you, skip it. If she treats you like another adult try asking her if she'd like to get something to drink with you during lunch some time. If she says, "Great." You're probably good to give it a shot. If she's busy (more than once--give her that, she might really have a prior appt) skip it.
Good luck.
2006-07-04 19:41:10 · answer #3 · answered by Einsteinetta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....I am 38 and a women and i sit and think to my self would i date someone 10 years younger...i really never put much thought into dating someone younger but....i really believe it depends on the woman and the man. If you have feelings for this woman and you cant seem to shake them i suggest you tell her how you feel so you want keep wondering. Any relationship in the work place is usually not good but...what have you got to lose...you are a student worker...so i say go for it....or you will be wondering what COULD have happened and GOOD LUCK -ella
2006-07-04 19:44:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go For it!
I'm 22. My Wife is 34. Trust me. These relationships can work. But I suggest you approch the subject carefully. And don't bother with the drama of an office romance if you don't think it will work out as a perminant thing. Be honest and treat her like Royalty. Let her know you're mature enough for her, and that you are ready for a real relationship. Unless she's just into casual boinking... then... once again... Go For It.
Avoiding what your heart is telling you will only led to more B-S
2006-07-04 19:44:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm unsure of this but I hear women around 30 get into an over-active sex drive between 25 and 30. They will always enjoy a younger boy-toy, and if you want a serious relationship you will definitely have your chance to prove it.
2006-07-04 19:37:30 · answer #6 · answered by nihilum99 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, all you can do is ask. Let her know, you have a crush on her. Or first start talking to her some more. Get to know what she is about. Her likes and dislikes. You can also tell about her. From what actions, she takes from people in the office. What actions she gives out herself.
2006-07-04 19:41:16 · answer #7 · answered by kygl28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a student and she is a counsler, it's a no go. If something started, she could get fired, do you realize that? You may like older women because you are more mature than most girls your age, and there is nothing wrong with that. Just find some one that won't get fired for dating you.
2006-07-04 19:38:57 · answer #8 · answered by April R.E.A. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are about to be 20. Come on grow up. You're old enough now to ask someone out without all the highschool BS. Just do it.
2006-07-04 19:38:19 · answer #9 · answered by Whats it to ya? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful, what you feel might just be an infatuation and it will wear out sooner or later. So take your time, don't lust simply love
2006-07-04 19:48:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋