can he get custody of my baby?

Question

I am having my baby in 26 days. Her father broke up with me when i told him i thought i was pregnant. I told him as soon as i found out n he layed the rules down on the table for me. The baby gets his last name and if its a boy, he is naming him after his grandfather. well, two weeks after we broke up he found him another girlfriend. and i absolutely hated them both!! he left me to go through this whole pregnancy alone, the only things he wanted was to go to the ultrasound n be at the birth. I could not get along with him for nething, everytime id talk to him id end up cussing at him or something. Could him saying i am crazy get him a better chance of getting custody of my baby?? not to mention he got his fone turned off so i could not call n tell him when i went into labor. he jes kept sayin she wasnt his. i heard he has to prove me unfit to get even joint custody. can he hold that against me even tho it is before i had her and not after

i wish i could reply to yals comments!! thank you so much for the advice. it jes worries me bc his family owns a bunch of stuff where i live, and he always would tell me that he could get full custody if he wanted to and all this other stuff. I am 17 and he is 25! i still have to go to school and everything and i really wish my baby girl would have a father, but if he doesnt come around-i have already made all my future decisions about school and work and how everything will work out fine if i am a single mom. will they give me full custody since im so young?? and how much is child support

but he is also the type of guy that if i am going to the grocery store and am seen talking to the "WRONG PEOPLE" he will try to hold it against me. or if i went somewhere without my baby he will try to hold everything against me. We were only together for like 2 months before i got pregnant. and i know if he isnt there when she is born that he will regret it for the rest of his life, cuz at first he wnated to be in her life but his girlfriend convinced him otherwise. but there is absolutely no way i could get a hold of him when i go into labor anyways. i jes dont know how he could even get joint custody after not being involved with me for 9 months or being at the birth etc

He has changed his number twice since ive been pregnant because I would try to talk to him and get along with him for the baby!! i really think he did it to convince the court i am a psycho!!

But i am 17, still have one year left in school and then im going to go to college after that and i am still living with my dad of course . we even remodeled our house because of this baby. my dad is disabled and i get social security every month which is enough to take care of my baby myself, and then when shes a couple of months old I am getting a job. i really think hes going to hold that against me

Answer 1

I have been in a similar situation. My eldest son's biological father tried to claim that he wasn't the father. He tried later to say that if he was the father then he was going to fight me for custody because I was not working and he was. Well, my son is now 8 years old and the guy hasn't even laid eyes on him. In my experience, the ones who say that they are going to sue for custody are usually full of hot air. The court can still grant joint custody without proving you unfit but if you have any concerns about the safety of the child while in his care, make sure you tell them up front (such as any drug/alcohol abuse history, mental health issue, history of domestic violence, etc.). Cussing at someone does not mean your crazy or an unfit mother and he would be hard pressed to play that card (you're pregnant and hormones are surging and the jacka$$ left you). You always have the option to not name the father on the birth certificate, however if you end up on state aid, you will be required to name the father and go through a paternity action (this is where child support is set and custody issues are resolved).

I hope this helps. Good Luck with your new baby.

Answer 2

you need to start working asap...you will need to run your little @ss to the AG office for your state pretty much as SOON as that baby hits the ground. File a petition to establish paternity, for child support and for FULL custody. Chances are he will not fight it...the only thing is do not let him do this stuff first. Do not contact him ANY more.

Hoeny I had my daughter at the age of 18.....I am a college student with a 3.786 GPA, I work AT least 30 hours a week....my baby's father is NO WHERE to be found...he threatened to gain custody of my child and I took him to court...he only has the right to pay child support, due to his admitted abusive behavior.

You need to know that even though you are 17, you can still suceed and you do not need him....and guess what? About 2 years ago I met a guy in my college gym class....we have been together every since...he is a WONDERFUL fathe to my four year old daughter....much better than the one on her birth certificate.

please keep your head up and email me any time @ [e-mail]....

Answer 3

If he does try a custody battle, he will need some STRONG evidence to prove you as an unfit mother. Calling you crazy wont be enough, cause he wont have any proof to back it up (unless youve done something extreme). But no, unless there is a really strong reason, like if you working with no one to look after child or something REALLY big along those lines, you should get custody of child almost no matter what. Not sure about last name, Id follow the advice of the other people though.

Answer 4

This baby is yours, before anyone elses. You can name her whatever you want. You can also keep him from being at the birth if you want.

He is not the expert on crazy so don't worry about his threats. He could only have a chance at getting you considered unfit if you were doing drugs or something stupid like that.

You can call about getting child support now and he will have that to deal with for a while after the baby is born. Child support is determined on the amount of income he has per month.

I don't know what the laws are there for statutory rape, but if you are considered underage there he may have to deal with charges from the state first for having sex with you.

As far as having a job. I know in some states you can wait up to a year before getting a job and no one can say anything about it. Especially if you are breast feeding every 2 hours or so. You really won't want to be away from your baby. Check with your guidance counselor at school or go to the health department and see about teen mother support groups. They will help you a lot with anything you have problems with. If its available there get on the WIC Program. Its awesome!! It pays for baby formula and food for you during your pregnancy.

I know its hard, but quit stressing over him and just focus on yourself and your baby. Trust me that he will regret what he has done someday, just don't expect it anytime soon. Good luck! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Answer 5

He probably doesn't even want the baby. He probably just doesn't want to pay child support. I know it isn't fair but you need to decide if its worth the hassle to have him in the baby's life. If you tell him he doesn't ever have to pay child support if he will just leave you alone chances are he'll go away. You could do like a lot of women do and say it isn't his. So think about it. Chances are this bum would never be much of a support for your child anyway.

Another tactic, reverse psychology works beautifully for this stuff. If he threatens to take the baby say something like, good cuz I can't handle this and I was going to give the baby up for adoption but if you want it I guess I have to let you adopt it. Don't say it in front of anyone else. Give it time (like a few weeks) to sink in and pretty soon he'll be like hey adoption is a great idea. Then you drop all contact with him and go on about your marry business. Move away if you can.

Answer 6

You guys arent married therefore you have legal custody. It doesn't matter what his family owns because you're the baby's mother. If you are so concerned about him getting custody go to the courts as soon as possible. Get a restraint order on him. When your baby is born get child support. Tell them you don't want him around you baby because of what is going on now. Believe me the judge would see things you way and be sooo disappointed in him...25 and getting a 17 year old pregnant. Girl dont trip.

Answer 7

Don't worry. Traditionally, they don't take the baby away from the Mom unless (a) she doesn't want the baby, or (b) she physically or mentally can't take care of it. If the mom is on drugs or is abusing alcohol, if she's involved in crime (or hanging out with people who are), or if she abuses the baby (not just hitting, but even just yelling at the baby or saying bad things to the baby, anything that looks like she's a danger to the baby's physical or mental well-being).

Being poor is not a reason to take the baby away, unless maybe the Mom is living on the street and is refusing to go to a shelter.

If you want to be sure: get a lawyer. Ask the family court for advice. There are good lawyers out there who'll work for people who can't pay.

Answer 8

What you need to do to protect yourself is give the baby your own last name and write "unknown" in the space where they ask for the father's name. If you tell them his name, then he is the father.Don't be dumb and try to work things out. You are beyond that already. Your Dad can help by taking legal custody of your child until you turn 18. Get a lawyer if you need to, some will work for free if you go through a program for family law. Check the phone book, ask around... Protect your child! You owe it to the baby! Move away from that guy while you are at it. Smarten up!

Answer 9

CAll your local hospital where you will deliver tell ask them what state law is. In my state if you are not married the baby gets the mothers last name not the fathers. That is state law. Also talk to your doctor NOW and tell him/her you do not want the father any where NEAR you when you give birth. The hospital will honor your wishes. That is your baby first. You would have to be proven an unfit mother and he is going to have to have some incredibly strong evidence to do that.
As soon as you can put a restraining order on him so he can not come around. And then get ahold of your local legal aide and get help from them if he wants a custody battle. Even if he doesn't get ahold of them any way as they can tell you what your rights are and what his would be.

Answer 10

First, give that baby whatever first name you want, and YOUR last name. He sounds like the kid will be much better off with names from you. If he does try to take you to court, you can probably use his distance as leverage. He left you as soon as he found out, he left you alone to do this, instead of supporting you and helping make things less stressful for you and the baby. He turned off his phone so you couldn't even inform him of anything with the baby, like complications or labor. I don't think he'll get custody. Just do the best you can to not let him get you mad, and go on about your life.