He left his email open and I read all the emails they wrote each other, he said he loved her and buch of stuff, he even flew to meet her to Spain, told me he was tired and needed a vacation, we have two children together, I love him but is too hard to forget all what he and she says in the emails, he says he is sorry, but I can't trust him anymore, I always thought we were meant to be, I guess ...he didn't think that way...What can I do? do I move out or give him a chance?
2006-07-04 17:23:05 · 31 answers · asked by fun 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Does he abuse you? Is he an alcoholic/drunk? Does he do things to make you feel like you did something wrong or like a bad person? If you answered yes to any of these, ditch him and find better. If you answered no to above questions, it is time to move on the the secondary questions. Does he try to make you feel good about yourself? Does he try to make you feel loved and important? Does he make you happy? Do you love him? If yes to any 2 of these than it is worth another chance. A lot of guys go through a crisis of feelings at sometime during a relationship. It is not because they want someone else. It is because they are confused about there feelings, and uncertain if the woman really wants them. It is why the saying "if you love them, let them go, if they come back it was meant to be." is true today. Now on the flip side this reasoning only works once. If he can't get it through his head this time, and does it again, than don't think twice. Let him go.
2006-07-04 17:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by technical_13 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, he went to Spain and never told you, and left you to take care of the two kids, that is very troubling.
The other thig that troubles me is the way you found out. It wasn't that he went to you and came clean, you had to find out yourself (by the way, I bet you were suspicious already, that's why you read his email.) Also you have two children together but never married, so I bet there were problems besides this that cause you not to have gotten married.
I think your relationship is already over, how can you ever trust him again? Trust is the foundation of every relationship.
I wish you the best of luck, I bet you'll find someone that will treat you like a queen, you deserve it!
The only way I can see this working, is if you both go to couples counseling, faithfully, together. It will take some time though.
Whatever you decide we wish you the best of luck!
2006-07-04 17:30:39 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa N 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I have to say is this....Trust is the foundation of any relatioship...Will you hoenstly be able to let him get online without wondering if hes cheating on you? Go out with his friends without wondering if thats who he'll really be with....Will you be able to trust him? And if not will he be able to stand the lack of privacy? He went to Spain....he obviously put alot of effort into having something with that woman. Do you think you can trust him or will it be none stop arguing everytime he wants to go "fishing with the guys", "on vacation" "works overtime" or any other reason (all possibly true) he has not to be around so you can supervise? If I was you Id take a break and search threw your feelings...If you honestly cant trust him and dont believe you will ever be able to trust him again then like I said...without trust, there is no relationship.I would atleast seek couples theripy. Good luck.
2006-07-04 19:04:17 · answer #3 · answered by moonlesswaltz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need him.You can do bad all by yourself.The only thing you need from him is to have a good FRIEND relationship, for the kids.You need childsupport.Those kids need both income to take care of them.These kids need to continue to have a good relationship with there dad.If he can cheat in Spain,he cheat can cheat where you at. He not ready to settle down.Let him go,but don't let him off the hook for child support.Put him in the system.You would be sure to get that check and not his lady friends.
2006-07-04 18:01:21 · answer #4 · answered by 40something 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he is exploring his options (cheating), while keeping you around in the meantime. You must look at the whole picture, while deciding to go or stay. Do not stay for the children , they will not appreciate that, and will not get a good example of a healthy union, which will effect them when they are forming their own relationships. Do stay if both of you are doing 100% to make it work. Good luck!!!
2006-07-04 18:16:47 · answer #5 · answered by Wonderer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry. You need to leave him. You can't have a relationship without trust. Your children will feel the tension and resentment in the home. Do anything you can to get on with your life without him. It will be difficult, but you can do it. Many women have come before you, and many more will follow in this path.
2006-07-04 17:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by LeAnne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A liar and a cheat is what you have...he wants to have his cake, eat it and lick the frosting too....I'd say throw his cake in the trash, remove his things from your home and tell him to hit the curb jack. Once a cheater and a liar always a Bull that wants to eat that grass on the other side of the road!
2006-07-14 00:28:47 · answer #7 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you would have said he was chatting with a chick on line I would have said oh well tell him to stop ....
Since he has flown to met her..... That isn't good! He cheated.
Well has he cheated before? I would tell him you know he cheated and get into it. If he begs you not to leave since you have kids I would stay. If he has cheated before. You might as well find you another man and leave..... He'll do it over and over again.
I'm sorry men stink! You will never be able to trust him again.
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2006-07-04 17:37:22 · answer #8 · answered by ▒Яenée▒ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You move on with your life. He went to Spain to meet this girl. This wasn't a brief fling. He had to put a lot of thought into this. Buying a ticket, passport, etc. He knew exactly what he was doing.
2006-07-04 17:26:46 · answer #9 · answered by Gracie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He can't cheat, because you aren't married to him; but what he did was rotten, and unforgivable. Leave him, and make darn sure that he pays to support his children. Unless that is, you are a door mat. If so, then you have no problem. Without trust, you have nothing. So, end it.
2006-07-15 03:48:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋