Any advise will be appreciated. I broke up with my boyf of 10 years 6 months ago. I was ok missing him but moving forward with my life, up until about 3 weeks ago when I started getting depressed, sad even angry at the thought of him. Is getting worse I can't sleep and all I think about is how I miss him yet hate him, I though I was over him... I am truly confused anyone been through this before ?
2006-07-04 16:57:07 · 27 answers · asked by Leididanger 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i cant say ive been thro that long of a relationship but..... I think your suffering from an emotional attachment. You see chick 10 years is a hell of a long time. I mean thats totally awsome. Ive been with my man for 2yrs and if anything did happen id be the same. So as yours is 10 years well i guess you could say its like a marrage and that now your apart you feel that your other half is gone. Yes the other man half is going but you feel a sence of the missing link. You no incomplete. You have been in a relationship for so long that you have forgotten what its like to be single and now that you are your freaking out. Look i no you have been single for 6months but remember this was a 10yr relationship. It will take time. Even if you try and spend more time with chick mates and get your mind off this fella or even if you go out clubbing ect, keep your self busy this is the only way.. Unless you truely still like / love him on the inside there is nothing else i can think of. If you still like / love him you need to sort this out too. But as you have said you hate him the only thing i canthink of is keep your self busy. Eventually he will drain away. I broke up with a guy that was 1yr and i got over him with this method. 10yrs might be different thro
good luck and take care.
bec
2006-07-04 17:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 8⤋
Quite common, you're not alone! I've been through break-ups but not after 10 years!
How it ended is important. Mutual thing? Was cheating involved? You fed up with gambling/alcohol problem? Prison? Or just the feeling went away?
Anger is normal because no one want relationships to end, but try to remind yourself that you are better off alone than with someone who makes you miserable. Many other people are worse off, too. Like abandonment, or violence, or even death of a loved one.
Try to change your perspective. It'll get easier as time goes on. Just try to keep the good times with you, and accept that you aren't going to be okay with it all the time, but it is a fact you must deal with. And even though he might seem together about it, he'll have his moments, too.
No one knows what the future holds, but it could be much better than what you've seen so far.
2006-07-04 17:13:37 · answer #2 · answered by mithril 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah!! I have and its perfectly normal.
Theres way to much to give you any answers here as to what is going on in you mind. However, I think in a lot of cases...its the moving on with your life thats causing a lot of the stress and depression. For ten years you had someone close to confide in and do things with and now that person isnt there anymore.
Maybe your not settling into another relationship yet and its scaring you. Besides.....if its only been six months since the breakup, it really is a little too early for you to be dating seriously again anyway.
Take the time to get yourself situated.. Make sure that your doing what you need to take care of yourself first. Then you will be a much happier person when you do start looking for another relationship.
2006-07-04 17:04:21 · answer #3 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've found that being too long with someone and then having it end is a real emotional wrecker, even more if it ended badly. 10 years is a really long time!, I went through a breakup of a long relationship too, but i was really convinced that i didn't want to be with him anymore, so i think that's why it didn't take me too long to get over him...i think it's best if you sit down and think about it, realize that the relationship just doesn't work. If you're thinking that maybe it could have worked out if "this" or "that" then it's a lot harder to let go and move on, and a lot easier to miss the good things and even hate him. You should distract yourself with other things you enjoy to avoid going over everything in your head...sadly it takes time to heal completely.
2006-07-04 17:12:55 · answer #4 · answered by jade 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think what's happening is you miss the familiarity you had with your ex. It was what you were used to and now you have to find a new life for yourself. But this should be like opening up all the windows in a closed up stuffy old house. Make sure you take the time to go back and find out what went wrong so that when someone new and interesting comes along you'll be ready. Otherwise the mistakes will just repeat themselves with the next person. Good luck.
2006-07-04 17:06:48 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just take it one day at a time. You were with him a long time and you will not get over him over night. You can move forward with out having to jump into another relationship. Give yourseft time to heal first.
So my advice is just take it one day at a time. And with that time there will be moments when you think back in time, but let it be just a memory and go on. Try not to sit and dwell on it if you are through with him. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on.
*Hope some of this helps.
2006-07-04 17:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by midget05 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i doesn't matter who broke off the relationship. After 10 years, its like a bereavement. It will take time and you will go through different stages; depression, anger, self blame etc. Just remember that like any other loss, you will come through it in time. Sometimes you'll need to talk. This is where good friends are a real blessing. Sometimes you'll just want to be alone. That's OK - just remember to come out of your cave from time to time.
2006-07-04 22:52:00 · answer #7 · answered by john_on_road 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have.
I cant say anything to really take the pain away, and believe me I would if I could.
What I can say is that you said you are moving on.
Does that entail dating someone else?
If not then try going out on some dates with different people.
You don't have to get romantic, unless you choose to.
It helps to find someone else that really is interested in you.
I have had female friends that helped me by just going out or hanging with me at my place when I went through that.
Its just nice to know you are not alone.
2006-07-04 17:02:54 · answer #8 · answered by Biker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is natural to miss someone if you have been with them for a long period of time. Get out, make new firends, join a gym, just get out of the house and get moving and before you know it you really will have truly moved on! Just keep busy, that way by the time you are ready to go to bed you will sleep well. You can do it!
2006-07-04 17:02:18 · answer #9 · answered by kountrykat2006 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
10 yrs is along time. i was with a girl for 3 yrs and broke up. it stinks. if it has been 6 months then you should at least try to move on to someone else. if you can not do this maybe counseling can help. im looking too
2006-07-04 17:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by gonecrazy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST ENDED A 8 YEAR RELATIONSHIP.
its hard but we must move on.
don't look back look to tomorrow
for this day you will find the way to keep going.
you will NEVER be over it.just put aside until something triggers a memory,
2006-07-04 17:03:55 · answer #11 · answered by glennmettlen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋