What would you do if you were abused?

Question

If you were a child and you were abused by your parent (your mom, specifically but I'm not sure if it'll make a difference) and your sister too. What would you do? Would you tell her to go to a pyscitrist (sp?)? And would you call the police even if you really love your mom (or parents) and is afraid what the police would do to her?
I'm 11 and sometimes my mom hits me and my sister with those
clothes "hangers". The ones that you put your clothes on to...hang it. I have no idea what it's called. One time after she hit us, I found red lines on where she hit us and my sister too.
Sometimes I get so mad at her and want to call the police and make her get what she deserves but I really love her and I guess most of the time she's nice.
I guess she hits us because my dad died in Janurary and she really loves him since he's so nice and I guess she's having stress because she has to study for a test. What should we do (mom, me, and my sister)?

I can't tell anybody because I'm scared they'll tell somebody else and soon it'll go to the police. And only my grandma is alive (that lives in the US) but she's in a senior home and I just don't feel like talking to her...and she speaks Chinese only anyway and her English isn't that good.
And I don't really have a godparent either, I don't think so.
And my friend's dad is a policeman so I can tell him what happened but if they do put me in a foster home, I'll really miss my mom so does that mean I have nothing to do?

I don't really want to talk to a teacher either...it just seems weird and again, what if it goes to the police?

And thanks for praying for me, I really appreciate it. And that day when my sister and I got those red marks on us, I spilled water because I was washing the dishes and then I almost slipped on it and fell, and if I did fall, then I would have broke my head or something against the counter. So is that my fault or my mom's?

And my school doesn't have a guidance counselour and all in all, I just don't really want to talk to anybody about this except for maybe a church pastor but I don't go to a church...

I don't think I'd be able to talk to any of my friends because they aren't so close...no one seems to like me at school anyway. And my friend, Morgan, her dad is a policeman (if I didn't say so before) and I'm scared that the news will get to them because I'm not sure if I could trust my friends.
I might be able to talk to my cousin though, since she's a trustworthy person (sometimes) and she understands me.

sxybrwneyedg..:

This isn't a joke. Why would I waste 5 points to ask this question and waste all my time to type all this?

To Joe:

1) I'm telling the truth, if you don't believe me, then why are you posting here?
2) It's summer break and I go on the computer alot, that's why I'm up so late
3) I type fast because I go on the computer alot and I play RPG games that need typing and I write stories and I just love typing.

I'm serious, why would I just waste 5 points just to ask this question?!

4) I'm level 2 because I like to answer questions, and I'm a good answerer, I understand a lot of people and I guess I'm kinda smart in some ways.

Answer 1

just because your father died doesn't make it an excuse for her actions. I would have to tell you to get your mom a sychitrist. She shouldn't be hitting you period though. and listen to me. If your mom ever makes you bleed. I want you to call the police. She can get in huge trouble. Or she might get help if she is crazy or has mental issues.

Answer 2

I am 48 and a mother of four. I would never hit my kids with a hanger. Please try to understand you mom probably loves you very much but she sounds like she is having trouble coping with stress. This is still NO excuse for hitting her children. If you have a grandparent, a father, an aunt, a teacher, any grown up that you think can help and that you can trust, please talk to them. Here is a FREE phone number for you to call if you need help.
1-800-96-Abuse and remember if you are really in danger do not hesitate to call the police and ask for help. Don't worry about hurting your mom's feelings after she hits you, she needs help for herself. I was abused when I was your age too. There IS help for all of you. Please do not let it go on or you will have trouble for a long time with your feelings. There is NOTHING wrong with you, you are a normal kid. ALL kids do things from time to time that they shouldn't this does not mean you are a bad person, just a normal person. And don't forget God loves you and I said a lot of prayers when I was being abused and it helps you feel better.

Answer 3

Sweety,

First I want to say I am so sorry for you and your sister. I really am. I will be saying a prayer for the three of you, yes, your mother too.

This is a difficult one to give advise on as I wouldn't want to suggest the wrong thing and possably make your situation worse.

Would your mother be willing to go to family counceling? Have you told your mother it is wrong to be hitting you with a hanger? Do you have a fmaily member that you can call or visit and tell them what is going on? If there isn't anyone for you to go to I would strongly suggest you call an abuse hot line. You should be able to find the number in your local phone book (either in the front or back of the book) tell them what is going on in your home. They are trained in this area that is so delicate.

I know you love your mother and I am sure she loves you and your sister. I realise loosing her husband, your father, is very difficult, and you mentioned studying for a test but sweety, neither of them give her the right to hit you and your sister with a hanger.

My mother died when I was 3 years old. My father was left with three small children. 4 year old, 3 year old and a 6 month old. My father and other family members embraced us from what I have been told. This is what your mother should be doing as you and your sister need love and support right now, just like her.

Please sweety, call and talk to someone. Please. My heart and prayers are going out to you all. May God bless you!

Answer 4

Well, If it's a valid reason as to why you are being reprimanded and it's not overboard, let it go-it's called tough love; although I wouldn't be surprised if it was the stress getting to your mom. Your sis is just a plain *****, give her a taste of her own medicine; be strong and believe that you can and you will. If this really hurts you, then call a family friend or talk to the docs-this could be stress etc. and this could also affect you too, so get help as well, last but not least the police. Take care. God bless.-if your religious-pray, God can and will get you through anyything.

Answer 5

Wow, maybe you can talk to your grandparents...if you call the cops, there is a very good chance they will pull you out of the household, for a time....
Your mom sounds like she has some issues that she needs to work throught, so maybe by calling the cops she will get the help she needs, and eventually you will be back together?
You shouldn't have to go through that. Is there a grandparent or godparent that can help? If not, i think you have no other option than to call the cops.
Good look, I m going to say a prayer for you.

Answer 6

Coming from an abusive life both as a child and adult I would say you should really confine in someone you truly trust.Help sometimes isnt easy , but just because shes grieving it doesnt give her the right to beat you. Especially since you have suffered a loss as well. But if you want it to end you have to make it one way or another that way all of you can get the help you deserve. Not to sound corny but you could always call Dr.Phil as he helps alot of familys with these issues including counseling. Unfortunately some people either dont want to get better or dont realize its a problem. And 9 times out of 10 it will not stop till you stop it. I wish you all my best and will keep you in my prayers but please quit suffering and tell someone who will trust you as well as you them.

Answer 7

i think you should tell a teacher, or if you go to church, someone there.they should be able to get help for you and your mom and sister.i'm sure you feel your mom deserves to feel some pain back,but that would not do any good.she needs help and support.and so do you and your sister.if you can't tell a teacher or someone at church, or even a relative. than yes you should go to the police and tell them that your dad died and things are not going well, and that you and your sister and your mom need help.they know the right people to have your mom talk to and get help.i'm sure its hard for her (and you and your sis)to cope with the loss of your dad.she deserves help,support, and love!calling the police is not necessarily a bad thing. i hope things get better for all of you ;-)

Answer 8

Ask an adult at church for help. If you don't go to church, ask an Aunt or Uncle ,Grandparent or some other adult who loves and cares about both you and your mother. Your right , your Mom is under a great deal of pressure- but she should NOT hit you like that. You must tell someone so she can get some help dealing with her emotions.

Answer 9

Hi KH. This is heartbreaking to hear. No one deserves to be beaten, regardless of what is going on in their lives, or the abuser's life. It's just wrong, plain and simple. I would suggest that you contact your local Department of Children and Family Services. A social worker will perform a screening over the phone and you can discuss your situation with him/her. There may need to be a visit to the home, and the social worker will work with your mother to help her overcome her anger, or find her suitable treatment in a community mental health agency. Now, don't be frightened to call. Most child welfare agencies are not in the business of removing children from the home if they can resolve family issues. What I gather from reading your question is that your mother only recently became abusive after your father passed away. Therefore, this is information that you can address with the child welfare services staff. Or, if you are close with your mom, you and your sister can address your feelings with her and push her to seek help. If she refuses, it may be necessary to call.

Answer 10

i kno how feel my mom used 2 hit me a LOT espesialy when i was younger...i nv did anything cause i didnt want 2 get her in truble and 4 example when i was in the 1st grade she "acdently" hit me in the face and i had this huge cut and she told me the if any1 asked i ran into a branch and thats what i told them even tho im still only 13 i still havnt told any1 cause i dont want 2 get her in truble and her mom used 2 hit her so i think she isused 2 it and i feel bad 4 her but if she is rlly hurting u then yes go ahead and tell some1 but it may just b a fase since ur dad died(im rlly sry about that) but i fond that if u r rlly sweet 2 ur mom but u give her space and stear clear of her she will stop well good luck bye