I have this friend. We used to mess around a lot. In the past I was so head over heels for him. I loved him so much. He always said all the right things, but he didn't want to be with me because he didn't want to cheat on me. He f*cked with my mind so bad. So I gave up on him. Now I have this boyfriend that I love more than anything! We're engaged! About a month ago this friend came over to my house and said everything I've ever wanted him to. He was so sweet. I really wanted to believe him but I know until he stops drinking I can't. When my boyfriend found out that he came over he was pissed! He cried! He knows I would never cheat on him but he's afraid that my friend is going to do something with me.(Last summer I had a boyfriend and my friend kissed me which caused me a lot of problems.) I stopped talking to my friend to make my boyfriend feel better. Now I feel bad. Tomorrow is his birthday and part of me wants to call him but I know my boyfriend will be pissed! What should I do?
2006-07-04 16:30:37 · 26 answers · asked by Me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This friend was never my boyfriend! He wouldn't go out with me. I don't want to lose him as a friend, He needs to realize that all we are is friends. He was there for me alot in the past. He just can't keep his penis in his pants.
2006-07-04 16:52:10 · update #1
Hey everyone thinks for the advise. I spent all yesterday with my boyfriend.
2006-07-06 10:43:40 · update #2
consult the Lord.
seriously.
2006-07-04 16:33:50 · answer #1 · answered by honni~graham 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, did this friend that kissed you do it in a passionate way? If so, did you kiss him back? If so, then that was wrong of you and obviously your fiancee would be upset. This obviously won't be 'put to bed' because he still thinks about that time and I think you should both talk about that before saying "I do".
Also, yeah, how can he trust you with his friend if you kissed another guy a year ago? No wonder he was upset his friend came over. HOWEVER, You DO NOT want to marry someone that is jealous and controlling. If everything in the past was completely innocent then your boyfriend/fiancee has jealous/controlling behavior and that is VERY BAD. I dated someone that was jealous/controlling/dominating, etc. Let's just say that he made me feel like I couldn't even talk to a man other than him or else he would be pissed. I dumped that jerk as quick as possible and THANK GOD I did. My life would be so MISERABLE NOW/
Look, asumming that you have morals and wouldn't cheat on your fiancee then talk with him about this. This needs to be cleared up before walking down the isle. And, if you like and are sexually attracted to other guys while being engaged to someone then perhaps it's not a good time to set the date for the wedding. I know out of experience that when you find the right guy, you don't have that LUST so-to-speak for other guys (yes you are still physically attracted to them, but there is no way in hell you would even touch them, kiss them, flirt with them, etc. in anyway).
Because of my experience, I just want you to really think about who you are marrying and if he is right for you. If so, then great. Otherwise, I would hate to see someone marrying someone that is controlling/jealous, etc.
5 signs that you mate/husband, etc. may most likely be physically abusive:
1) jealousy
2) isolates you from friends
3) curses at you and makes you feel like you are worthless
4) expects you to obey him at all times
5) (can't remember the fifth)
2006-07-04 23:45:43 · answer #2 · answered by bethizmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're engaged to the new boyfriend. you've made a commitment, that's where your loyalty belongs.
The old friend is drinking, you don't believe him, and his kiss caused you a lot of problems. Does that tell you anything? Is this what you want to jeopardize love and commitment for?
It's often hard. But there are times in life, when it is necessary to let the Past be Past. If you really must acknowledge his birthday send him a card. Personal contact is inadvisable in this circumstance.
2006-07-04 23:41:56 · answer #3 · answered by me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Would it be OK for your boyfriend to call an old girlfriend? Look into your heart and go with that before you get married. Remember why the grass is always greener on the other side: It has a lot of manure to green it up!
2006-07-04 23:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're engaged! Maybe you better hold off on any kind of marriage date until you get your head together. It sounds like your old boyfriend might just be this way now because once again, he's f*cking with your mind....he knows you have a boyfriend and you're happy (at least you seem it to him) and he might just want to break that up. Watch what you're doing!! Remember the way he was before, and continue to move forward with your new boyfriend.
2006-07-04 23:40:02 · answer #5 · answered by trueblond195 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are rushing into this engagement situation. Only a year ago you were dating someone else and now you are engaged AND wanting to have contact with a guy that you know you have feelings for. Break off the engagement and fill your next year with things that will help you grow. Forget the men, you need to know who you are and what you really want in life. Good Luck
2006-07-04 23:38:58 · answer #6 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy isn't your friend. He's out to screw up your life. That's fine when you were single, but now that you're engaged, time to quit playing around.
If he's not out of your system, it's too bad. Tell fiance you're not ready and risk losing him to a girl who's got it together.
Otherwise, just drop a card in the mail, if you really think you must, or give it to his mom, and avoid "friend" like the plague.
P.S. You're not the only girl he's done this to!
2006-07-04 23:40:23 · answer #7 · answered by mithril 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a long look in the mirror and ask your self what is it that you want once you make up your mind you have to stick to your guns. The one that you do not keep let him know where you stand and it would be a good idea if you move on and cut back the phone calls.
2006-07-04 23:41:52 · answer #8 · answered by getatjayr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does your friend always come around when you have a boyfriend? If he really wanted to be with you, he would have been there a long time ago. Don't mess up a good thing when you have it. I have been looking for a good thing and playing games for a long time, trust me.
2006-07-04 23:37:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy you messed around with has a drinking problem and attached to that are empty promises and manipulations. If you truly love your fiance, I'd stop having any contact with the 'old guy friend.' I wouldn't call the 'old guy'. It sounds like you want to have some closure with the old relationship and really, the closure is that you've moved on.
2006-07-04 23:36:44 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, sounds like you have mixed emotions,and your in denial...but hey its ok,we all have issues..anyways- if you love your bf,,stand your ground to where your heart matters...you must accept the fact that there will be many moments when you will encounter x's ,so the best way to confront this is by treating them as you treat a regular individual...If you feel you want to say HB to your x, then do it! Now if your BF has a problem with that, then he is not good for you, it's all about trust hon...But dont give him any reasons in the future for mistrust...Good luck!
2006-07-04 23:37:45 · answer #11 · answered by silkysandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋