My daughters father is from another country, and he has dual citizenship. He was in prison for the past 7 years, and was recently released. He lives in another part of our state, and does not see her very often, but he recently called me out of the blue very late at night to tell me he was here in my town, and wanted to see her. When I took her to see him, he was acting very suspicious, and I just had a really bad feeling about the whole thing. To summarize, he wanted me to let her go spend the night with him, but did not want me to know where, and he kept making strange comments to her, like, don't worry, daddy is trying to make it so I can be with you more. Is it just me, or does anyone else think that his plan to come and see her might have been to try to steal her from me and disappear? I know this might sound strange, and that you don't have all the facts, but trust me when I tell you, I had a really icky feeling about the whole thing. Oh and HELL NO I didn't let her go.
2006-07-04 16:13:14 · 29 answers · asked by jensarquist 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Immigration
Good for you, for letting your instincts rule. You did the right thing.
You should also be aware that your daughter's father might be able to get a passport for her from his country, and take her there. If he does, it will be extremely difficult to get her back. You need to read this:
http://www.travel.state.gov/family/abduction/abduction_580.html in general, and especially this page:
http://www.travel.state.gov/family/abduction/prevention/prevention_2873.html
2006-07-04 16:45:11 · answer #1 · answered by dognhorsemom 7 · 6⤊ 3⤋
I think a mother's intuition is something you should never ignore! The mere fact that he wanted her to stay overnight and not tell you where sends up red flags everywhere! Even though he is considered her "father" doesn't mean he's a good guy! Be careful with this character. I know you know what's best and it's completely understandable that you are suspicious of his motives. If for some reason you should decide to allow your daughter a visit with him, the visits should be supervised. And I would not do it alone, I would take someone else with you. There is safety in numbers. And that's not being paranoid, it's being a good mother! You may also want to consider contacting a family attorney to find out what to do if things get ugly. God bless and good luck!
2006-07-04 16:21:32 · answer #2 · answered by Miss U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am just being realistic here, but someone that has been in prison can't be very reliable. If I were in your shoes, forget about him, its better for a child to grow up without a dad than go through all the emotional distraught of knowing her father served time. Icky feelings say alot, make sure you tell neighbors and family and friends about this. Even file a police report about his suspicious behavior, its always better safe than sorry.
2006-07-04 17:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by diehard0603 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion I would not let her go with him. IF you have ever watched anything on child abduction or fathers from other countries that is the first thing they do. They run home to their country and it makes it a whole lot harder for you to get them back because the law in most arab countries states that the child is his according to their laws. But as far as other european countries I would make sure that you get advice from legal ade on what the laws are if he does take her out of the country. And if you have ever seen "Not With Out My Daughter" with Sally Field in it is based on a true story. You can also reach this on your own. But my advice is to talk to someone with legal experience and see what they say. Because other countries have different laws. Hope this helps you some.
2006-07-04 16:30:41 · answer #4 · answered by chrmedbabygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I for one will say "YOU GO GIRL" you did the right thing in following your instinct. With so many illegal immigrant fighting about what we call archor babies you should not take the chance that he will take her. Its just so many thing he could have had in mind to do with your daughter. What you need to do is talk to a lawyer to see what can be done but since he is not a citizen of the USA you need to go to a immigration offices first to check on laws of father of other countries.
What I cant understand is how can he still be here after going to jail usually they take away citizenship if a person commits a crime.
2006-07-04 16:47:49 · answer #5 · answered by De-De 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of your daughter. If he just got out of jail he probably doesn't have a custody schedule that you are breaking. All the same, you should speak to a divorce attorney. I don't know how bad it was but it doesn't sound good, and your attorney may suggest a court protective order.
Just informally you can suggest she see him with you, 'while she gets comfortable with him again' if he calls while you are speaking to the attorney. Child abduction is no joke, and it is hard to get a child back from a different country if he can get her to one.
Meanwhile, get a child ID with fingerprints if your state creates them (California has a kid ID with that and biometric data that can be emailed wherever it is needed.)
Good luck.
2006-07-04 16:22:29 · answer #6 · answered by DAR 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds exactly like you are thinking. Kidnapping happens every day and is sometimes by a family member. I wouldn't trust him for as far as I could throw. Be very careful. You might want to get a private investigator. Be careful. God Bless. Stay safe and Good Luck.
2006-07-04 16:19:02 · answer #7 · answered by noseygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, when it comes to children, gut feelings tend to, and should by the way, override any others at that moment. I had a bad feeling when my son was still an infant, his mother was in the hospital suffering with postpartum, so I didn't leave him at the sitter's as planned to go to work. I took him with me, much to the chagrin of my editor, and later that day I covered a car accident(I'm a reporter) for the paper, and it was the sitter. Babies littered the street, as not a single one was in a child safety seat. Something she said she required. Five children were badly injured. She is still incarcerated for Felony DUI. My wife and I are divorced and follow the rules of visitation set by the court, but sometimes agree on being flexible. No, you were not wrong for doing that. If he wants visitation tell him to go to court or agree to your supervision at visitation. More power to you. I know your child probably wants to see her dad, but push those requirements for her safety and your piece of mind.
2006-07-04 16:26:51 · answer #8 · answered by obitdude2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe he became crying fake tears the finished time. he's thoroughly no longer severe about the courting and he's squandering invaluable thoughts on him. do not supply your heart away to an insecure, chilly-hearted individual like that. He feels like he's purely toying with you. He feels like he purely needs to carry close how a options he can pass into breaking you down until eventually you ultimately say you've had sufficient. i don't think of he's the right one for you, sweetie. there are distinct worthier men accessible for you to settle on, yet heavily no longer this one you're speaking about. over the years, you'll overlook about him. do not problem. you may love him notwithstanding it would not propose that you won't be able to placed that love onto somebody else extra worth. best of success.
2016-11-30 07:22:08 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to your daughter about if anything ever happens like if some stranger ever took her (I honestly would say her father) tell her what she should do. Like make sure she calls you or if she can the police. Don't let her out of your sight! I hope you have full custody. Don't let him near her!
Good luck!
2006-07-05 15:14:04 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your own intuition, whatever feels right to you is the most comfortable thing, dont let outside pressures make u change ur thoughts otherwise
2006-07-04 16:17:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋