Should I be bothered by woman constantly contacting my boyfriend?

Question

I have been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months now, and it is getting serious. I love him and care about him very much. Recently he told me about a woman that he works with, who he had gone out with one time in the past. He was not interested in her, and she ended up dating my boyfriend's friend instead. After they broke up she became slightly obsessed with my boyfriend.
She sends him weird and slightly romantic texts a few times a week. She calls him at night on his cell, and when he is at work, and she e-mails him....I am very bothered by this, and am not sure what I can do, if anything. My boyfriend knows it bothers me, and he has said that he told this woman he is not single, and he mostly ignores her calls and texts. But I am also bothered that he isn't more forward with her. If he knows how much this bothers me, why can't he suck it up and tell her to leave him alone? I need some advice please....

I am so tempted to e-mail her at work, because I know her full name and e-mail....but I do not want to cause any trouble between my boyfriend and I. He told me that if it got "bad" he would tell me and then I could write her an e-mail....but I know he would be upset if I went ahead and did it. But again, I am SO tempted...

Answer 1

If he works with her, that's a rough situation. He may not be as forceful as you like because he wants to keep the office peace. There is a lot to be said about caution in these areas.

I think what you should really do is concentrate on why this bothers you so much - not the stalker-esque ways of this woman, but why they bother you so when he declines her advances and reminds her that he is already in a relationship.

Is it he is untrustworthy in some other area? Has he given you pause over other women? Have you been hurt by another situation like this and wish to make sure it doesn't happen again? Being able to communicate why you have these concerns will go a long way towards helping him understand why this is so important to you.

Answer 2

If he isnt leading her on.. she will eventually give up. If he is egging her on .. she will never quit. I would assume he is telling you about these events. I feel that maybe he does not want any confrontations with her maybe because they work together. I feel that if he is ignoring her, then that may be the best thing for him to do since they both work in the same company. Sometimes relationships or even non existent relationships can end up on a bad note. If the woman is obsessed with him, she may try to cause trouble. Either event, I feel that if he ignoring her.. it may be the best thing to do in this situation .. not knowing what kind of person she is. As long as he is telling you about these events.. I feel that you have no reason to worry. Good Luck

Answer 3

Then u need to get in his face and let him know that it bothers u that he's seems to be taken what she doing too lightly( if he desn't want her texting, emailing or calling him) he needs to block her calls, emails and text messages if he doesn't want her contactimg him.

Ask him if it means your relationship means anything to him and of so then he needs to put a firm stop to this woman, he knows it bothers u and he should let her know that (YOUR) feeling means more to him then him trying not to hurt ( her) feelings.

This other woman knows she's stirring up a bother with u, but don't give her the power of knowing it does, just let him know, that if he doesn't nip it in the bud then u have male friends too. That will let him know that if he can have some other woman emailing, calling and texting him so can u.

Good Luck Diva, I know the feeling I really do =-)

Answer 4

He may not want to cause a scene at work, since she works with him. Maybe he's concerned about hurting her feelings, because he likes her (as a friend.) Maybe he likes the ego-boost of knowing how much she likes him. It could be any number of things.

But - he's with you, and he's being honest with you. It doesn't sound like he's trying to hide anything from you and he doesn't sound like he's encouraging her. I think maybe you should "suck it up" and learn to trust him.

Answer 5

I have been in this situation.....an annoying woman could not leave me and my man alone.I finally cried and told him to choose.He called her in front of me and told her to stop bugging him because there is no point as he loves me.She tried to talk to him after wards but he just coldly ignored her.....it worked for me.There were no more stupid messages and flirtatious calls.Good luck.

Answer 6

I would also be very bothered by this. 4 months is not long enough to really know someone. Trust is something that is earned it should not just be given. You should listen to you gut on this. If it looks like Sh*t, and smells like Sh*t, guess what? Its sh*t

Answer 7

no, if your bf said he is not single soon that bf stealer would just step off. and if you are really worried talk to the women in a gentle way to stop flirting with your man. maybe if you told her in the face maybe she'll give up and go find a nother man in my space. tell her to look in my space.

Answer 8

yes, if he really wanted for the calls to stop he would of blocked his phone from her or change the number. trouble leave and dont look for a man one will come in due time

Answer 9

Sorry he likes her interest, likes receiving her calls and interest, they're emotionally bonding, sharing intimate records etc. which = emotional affair.. . He needs to quit if he values the courting with you.

Answer 10

the 1st thing u should do visit him in his work place on his breaktime...then the girl gonna notice u...if she still doing that to ur bf then u make a move...talk to her or text her,tell her what u feel.