advice please?

Question

well I have a problem with my boyfriend and we have been together for two years and he seems strange resently. when we first started going out I was thinking about brakeing up with him but then he started treating me like a queen. Then i found out i was preggy with his baby and it was a scary time for me and i was thinking about giving my baby up but he told me no dont and i did not and now baby tray jr. is 6 1/2 months old and im glad i keept him. anyway he would take the baby out and get these strange numbers he said they were babysitters because my dream is to go to university and graduate i trusted him enuff to take that. then he got fiered from his job and left me to work overtime now he goes out all the time and comes home LATE every time i ask him where he is going he said do worry about it and that does not give me any confidence in our relationship i feel i should leave him but what about our baby and all the times he said he would marry me but then treats me like crap. HELP

I'm 23 and Tray is 25

Answer 1

sounds like he ain't all growed up, yet -- if ya know what i mean

either he should "man-up" or you should move on.

it sux for a while, especially if you have lived together for all that time -- but being a single mom doesn't reduce your chances of landing a decent guy (my wife was a single mom in dental hygiene school & had 2 boys by her ex when i met her; i was a virgin with a small airfreight business)

being a dad & supporting people you love TOTALLY ROCKS!

Answer 2

I think for an answer to this question, you should really be asking YOURSELF what you want for you and Tray Jr. Do you think Tray is cheating on you? If so, I suggest you ask him straight out "Are you cheating on me?" All men will deny this, even if they ARE cheating so don't expect him to say yes... Instead what you must do is ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship where you cannot trust your mate. And also, how does he treat Tray Jr? Is he a good, loving dad who spends a lot of quality time with his baby? If the answer is yes, then most likely he will continue to be a good father whether you break up with him or not. If you havea safe place where you can live with Tray Jr (like your parents house, or with a sibling), then think about moving there and discuss it with that person. After you've found a place you could move (assuming you and Tray and Tray Jr. live together already.. if you dont, and you already live with family, then ignore this), tell Tray exactly how you feel, and that you have found a better place to live and you refuse to be treated badly any longer. Do not worry about whether or not you will find another boyfriend, because you will! And if Tray is a good father, then he will not stop seeing Tray Jr and wanting to be part of his life. If he DOES refuse to see Tray Jr after you break up with him, do not fight it. Accept that he is confused in his life, and move on with yours. Little boys can still be brought up properly with no damage done, if all of this is done at a young age.. the sooner the better. But if Tray doesn't refuse to see his baby, and wants to be a good father, let him. That does not mean that he has to be your boyfriend. Perhaps he is a better father than he is a boyfriend, and that is ok too. The most important thing is that you and the baby are safe, and happy. And if that means that you must break up with him, then so be it. If he physically assaults you, leave immediately with the baby. But before you break up with him, trying talking to him first. He may just have an answer for his bad behaviour.. Never leave a man and run with your child, without telling him first, or he could call the police and they could charge you with kidnapping. Make sure to talk with him, and tell him you are unhappy.

Answer 3

I think that deep down you know what is going on with him and that you're already having doubts about being married to him one day. Look at all the signs, the late nights and the strange numbers and the fact that his attitude towards you has changed. What do you want to do? Do you want to stay and try to work it out or do you want to leave? Do not let the fact that you two have a baby together deter you from leaving him. If you don't want to be in this relationship anymore then just leave. If you're having so much trouble in this relationship now, marriage is not going to work between you two, it will just get worse.

Answer 4

People say they want to stay together for the sake of the kids, but imo it just hurts the kids. If you stay with Tray and it turns out he's cheating, your son will grow up knowing that his father doesn't care enough about you or him to be faithful, and that will hurt. And if Tray "treats you like crap," even just sometimes, he doesn't deserve you or the baby. Dump him and find someone who will be good to you. If you want him to, he can still see the baby. That doesn't have to end just because the two of you stop dating. Hope this helps at least a little.

Answer 5

Ok, first of all I would have liked to know why you wanted to break up with him. If he didn't treat you right in the beginning it's just the way it's going to be. Like right now. And I believe that the reason he treated you like a queen is that he wanted to have sex with you. The phone numbers may be from girlfriends. Tha is why he is so late. Don't worry, I suggest you leave him because he is going to be a jerk for the rest of his life. You can find another daddy for your little boy. Take care and good luck!

Answer 6

It's about ime to leave that cheater. Get your baby and start a new life. You're still young and can find the right man for you. Try to finish your studies and devote your time to your baby. Always bear in mind that there is sunshine after the rain. You deserve to be happy. You don't deserve that cheater. Leave him now. It's not the end of the world for you,

Answer 7

Sister, the guy is a loser. Leopards don't change their spots. You already know the answer, you're just looking for confirmation. You're the one working, why do you need the dead weight? Yes, he will probably want to marry you if you break up with him, but that's because he knows he has a good thing. 25 years old with a child? Any decent man would be working three jobs to support his obligations, regardless of what they were.

You obviously care about the guy, but it is now time to think with your head, not your heart. This is not just the rest of your life, but your son's life as well. Be strong and take the plunge. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. A cliche I admit, but true nonetheless.

Answer 8

If he treats you like crap, then it will not only benefit you , but your baby if you leave him. If you need a little more time before kicking his *** to the curb then tell him what you need and expect from him as a man and let him know that if he keeps acting like a teenager and not a father then you can't be with him. If you want him to change, you can't wait for it. Tell him he changes or he's out and if he cares at all for you and your baby he'll shape up.

Answer 9

This does not seem to be a problem with your boyfriend. It is more likely a problem with poor self esteem, immaturity and bad decision making on your part. Stop looking to others to treat you like a queen and start treating yourself like one. If you really care about your child, keep him away from such a loser and start setting a good example for him by putting your life in order.

If you really want to go to college, there is plenty of aid available, but you might want to brush up on your spelling and sentence structure first...or at least learn how to use spell check.

Answer 10

hmm...well im not sure if they arent or are not babysitters numbers..maybe hes picking up supposed "babysitters"...
and another thing...he still hasnt found a new job?..so he can help you out?..he needs to find a job...n he might be cheating on you..
the thing is gurl, you dnt need him to go on with ur life, and your baby really only needs its mother..and yea, prob see his father once in a while..but if he treats you lik crap..then you deserve a better partner..would you like feeling like crap and feel cheated on for the rest of you life?...watch him not even want to look for a job any more..since your supporting the baby and him!!,..
i guess your the new man of the house!...