Should I date this girl, dump her or take a step back?

Question

So here is my dilemma..... I met this girl online and we talked off and on for 3 weeks. We finally had our first date a week ago last saturday. Everything was fun and fine. We talked for hours, played pool, laughed and knew that we had the chemistry. We even closed down the pub and talked for another 1.5 hours at her vehicle. We kissed and were already touch, feely. We both moved fast on the first date.

Here's the thing: This girl that I met we have had 3 fast dates in 5 days. I've never moved that fast before. I had asked her (two weeks before our first date) if she was seeing anyone else or interested in anyone else and all that she told me was that their were no guys and that she was talking to someone in Iraq for 8 months, never met him though.

I see her cell on the table and I look through it. She had looked through my phone a couple of days ago and I had nothing to hide so I didn't care. I should have though. So I go through a few things and find this number in Vegas. I ask her about it and she says that it is nothing. If it was nothing, she would have mentioned it. Well, she didn't mention the guy in vegas when she mentioned the guy in Iraq. She also told me that she frequents Vegas and has flier miles. That is where she wanted to go on our first date-Vegas!! I ask her a little more about this guy and she tells me that she met him on her b-day in Vegas...May 24th, 2006. Oh, we live in Indianapolis, IN. She also tells in one moment that he is too young and that she doesn't date younger guys, plus he lives in Vegas. A couple of hours later she says that she is interested, that he makes her laugh and if he moved here or if she was there in Vegas that they would probably date. I mean she has only known him for a month and for

known him for a month and for her to be in Vegas for a short time, they really must have hit it off.

Anyways, she went away for the holiday and this gave me time to clear out my own baggage. We just started dating so we aren't in a relationship yet. We are still evaluating each other. We have fun, call or text each other often and we have lots in common. I would have given myself an F for the way I was to her but she is still here. She also says that she has gone 6-9 months of dating and not been exclusive before. You either know after 2-3 months if you want to be exclusive or not, right? Not fair to the other person who probably has developed feelings and love.
Well, any comments or suggestions I welcome. I really could use the help here and outside perspectives! I don't know what to do about her and the friggin' guy in Vegas. We aren't tied down or anything but I have never dated someone who was interested in someone else. New ground for me.

she used to live in vegas and has mutual friends there as well. I didn't clarify that. I am 32 and she is 29.even though I found out about the guy in Vegas a shady way, I just wished that she would have been open and upfront about it since the 'cat was out of the bag' and that she could give me a straight story of their situation the first time instead of beating around the bush and confusing me. she brings up the guy in Iraq but not the guy in Vegas??????
Oh, what the hell does 'all-or-nothing' mean? She asked me if I was an all or nothing guy. I told her that I wasn't all or none but I hadn't the damndest idea what she meant by it and didn't want to say. She said that is good. WTF.

don't forget that she saw and has known this guy since May 24. We met a week ago fact to face.

i've never dated a girl who was interested in someone else at the same time. I always knew where the both of us stood. This girl wants to date me but doesn't want commitment or a relationship because you can't tell for a month if a person is actual relationship or bf/gf material...you know?

How am i a wuss? What does all or nothing mean in a relatioonship? I am drawing a freakin blank.

God Nose--why am i a wuss? I like this girl and we have tons of chemistry and stuff in common.

I am wondering about her personality though as well...I am wondering about my sanity as well. Ha.

Answer 1

wow that's all confusing, but that's kinda scary; her birthday is the same as my girlfriend's..........

Answer 2

hm, i wouldn't worry too much about this guy from Iraq, for starters.

i think you're right, it should only take a few dates to know where you stand in the comittment area. 6-9 months is a little long without being exclusive- sort of a waste of time. '

i really think you should look into her history. has she slept with other men? if so, roughly how many? I don't know how you'd find out but keep your eyes and ears open. she may just think this dating thing as some kind of recreational thing. if you really like her, give it 2 or 3 months. then ask her where you two stand. ask her if she is still interested in this other guy. if she is, don't invest too much in her, because you sound like you are in for something deep and true and she may not be..

god bless and good luck

Answer 3

Good god buddy you said that you two closed the bar one night but it sure sounds like your 13 or 14 though. I'm confused. Don't be a wuss!

Answer 4

It sounds like you're suspicious of her. If deep down you think she's shady, she probably is, even if you dont want to think that. It sounds like shes histrionic (personality disorder) based on what you've said. Here's some info on it off wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic - I suggest checking it out, my bad if it doesn't fit. By putting your question up here you've already taken a step back, and it sounds like a good step. Good luck,keep us posted.

Answer 5

if she will lie to you once she will lie to you twice and more.....find someone you can trust

Answer 6

RUN!!!