what should I do about my friend becoming a christian ... read on?

Question

ok so I have no clue what to do I am not a christian myself but myfriend is becoming a christian and now I have no problem with that yay for him he can do what he wants it's his life but the problem is that h'es gone over board with it and it's ruining 7 years of friendship. We are like brother and would do anything for each other he was christian when we first met but it was ok he kept it to himself and didn't force it on me and for about the past maybe 4 or 5 years he really hasn't been a christian I mean he believed in god but it wasn't like before. Now all of a sudden out of no where he's liek trying to make up the 4 or 5 years and it's ruining us. I can't listen to my music when I'm with him because it's not christian. He's told me not to swear when I'm with him. I can't say anything like oh god with out him flipping out at me. The otherday I gave him a car magazine that ne normally loves he's like me and loves cars and he told me no thanks .... more to come

so he said no thanks it has half naked chicks in it I mean it's a public car magazine that a 12 year old can get it's not that bad hot rod magazine maybe some of you know it. He's told me to not use crude humor any more. He's litteraly stopped looking to find a girlfriend he says that god will provide him one when it's time. He's becoming a completely different person I've tried to bend over backwards and help him when he's around me because he's like a brother to me I spent like 200 dollars getting chritian CD's that I like for us to listen to I've stopped swearing try not to use the lords name in vein but every time we hang out he comes up with something new that I can't do because it's not for god I mean he wont see a movie that's not pg any more because he feels it will have bad things in it I don't want to loose him as a friend but I don't know how much more I can take of this I keep giving trying to be a good friend and getting nothing back what should I do?

ok some of you are saying I should become a christian and I used to be but after loosing my entire family I can't just do it my mother died of cancer and my father and sister died in a car accident together if there was a god he wouldn't do that to some one. I used to love god and believe in him I went to church every sunday and often a bible study during the week but if that's what I get for loving god then I don't want any of it the onyl family I really have left is him and his brother and even his brother thinks he's gone way over board with this and he's a christian too.

I have no intention of becoming christian again some of you are saying meet him half way but I can't meet him half way when he keeps moving the half way point and shouldn't that be a two way street should'nt he meet me half way as well? Honeslty after being a christian myself and now sitting back and looking at it I find the whoel theory of god to be a lot like the reality of hitler. I thank you for the people who gave me serious advice and not the people who yet again try and convert me I have no family left some aunts and uncles that have there own lives and don't talk to me even when I try and talk to them if god loves me why would he take every one from me I have not mother, sister, father, or grand parents I mean you don't say you love someone then kill them. I used to love god but not any more please no more people trying to convert me I and I don't want you to pray for me.

Answer 1

You be who you are. Let him be who he is. If you find that you don't care to be around each other.. then don't be around each other.

Remember the frendship you had. Try to reach out and share some things now and then. If its too uncomfortable, move on with your life for a while and try again another time.

Do not try to change him. Do not feel you need to change who you are. Do not draw a line in the sand and say do this or else, anything that goes your way in that situation isn't going to be any good.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Don't listen to what Zondo says, whatever you do.

You need to tell him that he's going overboard with it. He can't try and force it on you, even if he has good intentions in mind. You have to let him know right away that he needs to lay off you. You respect him for being a Christian, so he in return needs to respect you for not being a Christian.

If you explain things to him as you have explained to us, and tell him that you don't want to lose his friendship. Hell, it's been seven years! That's incredible, and you don't want to lose someone who's like a brother to you, right? I'm sure he'll understand if you tell him how you feel.

There is one other possibility. He may blow up when you try and tell him, and he may try and deny it, or convince you otherwise. In other words, he may act negatively when you tell him. That would be the sign that you shouldn't be friends with him any more, and that would be the only case in which you should take Zando's advice and make him choose between his religion and your friendship. If you don't want to put him through that choice, then tell him that you can no longer be friends. It will be hard at first, but it's for the best if it turns out that way.

Answer 3

Wow. It's really a shame that he can't realize what he's doing. The best thing for him to do in at a time like this is to just LIVE his life as he sees fit and stop knocking you. His life and his happiness could be a stronger witness than any lectures he's going to give you. Instead, he's like a big dose of unsavory medicine.

When he brings up that he can't listen to any music except Christian, please tell him that classical music isn't "Christian". Mary had a little Lamb isn't Christian but I'm sure he would sing it with a group of kids. Secular doesn't mean that it's AGAINST God.

He is making the right steps for HIS life, I suppose. If he needs to not look at half-naked girls in car magazines (which is what they are known for), then good for him. For some people, it can cause problems (like thinking ALL women SHOULD look like that or objectifying women). Others can look and say "Oh, that's nice" and walk on. Some people can't. Maybe he's getting a hold on his own demons. Who knows.

If two smokers were best friends and one decided to stop smoking, it would show a lot of love and devotion for the other to NOT SMOKE in front of the other. I suppose that's how he feels about you swearing and such. And about the language...I don't know what to say. I have to admit that I'm somewhat of a potty mouth and I'm trying to control it. I'm sure that when I do, hearing it will become a little nauseating for me. As for now, I'm numb to it.

I hate to say it, but it might be that you are growing apart. It happens to the best of us.

I will respect your wishes regarding not trying to change your mind about God and your life.

Answer 4

It sounds like he's been taken over by some christian cult...mainstream christianity wouldn't make a person act that way. Try to be there for him (as much as you can stand) and maybe ask a few questions to try and get him to think. Hell, maybe even try to go with him to go to a normal church (presbyterians and methodists are pretty low key in general).

Be thankful this person is not a spouse....I've heard the same story told by a married man and it ended up leading to divorce. If the friendship does completely dissipate...just let him know that you will be there when he is ready to make compromises. That's what the problem is, it seems, he has completely changed yet is unwilling to accept that you haven't and is trying to force you to meld into the new friend he wants.

Answer 5

Praise the Lord, another soul saved from the torment of Hell.
Another person waliking out of the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light.
Your friend sounds like a really nice guy and he has found his creator God and knows Him personally as his Saviour. Why do you want to swear? Why do you want to curse God?
I would sugest that you listen to your friend and hear what he has to say, ask him why he believes what he does and what made it happen for him?
Ask him about Jesus and perhaps go to church with him, or at least read some of ther tracts he has, perhaps if you want to prove him wrong, read the Scriptures and find out that he is wrong then you can tell him with the knowledge you have!

Answer 6

It grieves my heart to hear of your loss and the suffering you've endured. Words cannot express what you feel.

It seems to me that your friend, Christian or not, is neglecting to love you as he has. Not all Christians are this way (I love listening to MudVayne and Psychotica, which arguably aren't remotely Christian bands), and something tells me this is a phase that will pass. There's often an inner fire that gets ignited when someone becomes alive in their faith for the first time. It's sort of a revolution, they want to change everything in their lives to reflect the profound inner changes.

I have a friend who left the Catholic church (the way I seek Christ) and immediately began condemning every vestige of her former life - she no longer referred to the church she grew up in as a welcoming community, but said we were all heretics who worshipped the antichrist and needed to change our ways. It almost seemed like she had been brainwashed, so significant was the change we saw in her. Through dialogue I met her new, very radical friends who had done a great deal of damage to her personality. I went to her new church with her a few times and was confronted constantly on my beliefs, and I defended myself vigorously. My friend began to understand that not all was as she had perceived it. She wanted to change her life, and she did, and it became a good change, but she also stopped pushing away her former friends.

I'm really not sure what to do about your friend. I'm guessing he wanted and needed this change, and that is good for him. At the same time, he needs to understand that his friendship is important to you even though you two do not agree on all things. It is certainly not Scriptural to say that Christians and non-Christians shouldn't associate, or that Christians are superior to non-Christians. He is not justified in saying these, but - and I'm guessing by the extent of his transformation - there are independent pastors who would mandate a complete change in one's life. Should you reject drugs and illicit sex and amorality? Of course, as you should get rid of anything that damages you. Should you throw out your old CDs, car magazines and movies? No. If something brings you down, you know it, and you get rid of it. But listening to non-Christian music doesn't hurt your witness, so to say.

I hope that your friendship can mend. Give him time, maybe he'll come down from this thermadoric phase he's in and show his old colors.

Answer 7

If he truly believes in his Christianity then he will not change. He has made a decision with his life and now it's time for you to make a decision. If you want to find out more about him and his christian beliefs, then stick with him and learn why he has chosen this life. If Christianity is not for you then you need to let go. You can still be friends and chat from time to time, but you will need to move on, find new friends, and live your own life. there is no right or wrong here, just a difference of opinion.

Answer 8

Unfortunately, there's not much to do about trying to control another's behavior...ergo as he will continue to try to control yours as long as you are around him....at least until he gets a brain implant. This is very sad but true...it must have something to do with loosing ones brain when one becomes a christian. Unfortunately, I had a very long friendship with someone until this happened and she just couldn't stop talking about the "lord" and all the other behaviors you speak of. (Gee, behaviors, sounds like symptoms of a mental illness.) Any how , very sad, as I felt I lost my friend and eventually after a couple of years, we gradually just grew apart and now I lost track of her for many years...very sad...I guess you just go on with your life and seek out new friends.
All the best,

Answer 9

Perhaps you should tell him that he will become very lonely pretty soon - and all his friends will be in the church and nowhere else. Give him some time to think about and offer you being open whenever he will return to a normal life.

To me, his behaviour reminds of a sect or cult more than a normal Christian community.

Answer 10

It seems like he's trying to get you to change with him. This has happened to me befor also. I just told my friend that I value our friendship alot but please don't force religion on me. When its time or maybe one day I'll go in that direction with you. I gave him some space and eventually after about 2 weeks he chilled out. He's not forcing it on me anymore and I try to watch what I say around him. Me and him are great friends and we don't want to loose a good friendship so we work around our new differences.

I say give it some time if he values your friendship thing will work themselves out between you.