I really need help with this plz and i need sincere opinions! I am 21 my boyfriend is 26 and we are having a long distance relationship overseas. We were madly in love and it was my best relationship so far and his too. Lately he has been having a lot of family/work problems that caused him a lot of stress. It affected him in everything including our relation. It has been more than 2 months that it is going not well because i tell him how much i am hurt by his attitude with me, he stoped calling me like before, basically, we are just not close as beofre at all. All that time i stood by him and supported him and talked to him to cheer him up, but instead of doing the same with me he is just getting less close to me. I told him many times that if he continues like that I am going to break up but he doesnt change, he tells me to stand by him cuz he loves me a lot and doesnt wanna lose me. I am so confused and hurt, should I break up or stay and wait for a change, or test him?
2006-07-04 11:32:19 · 4 answers · asked by *brunette* 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stop being so childish (this probably won't get me the 10 pts.). What do you gain by testing him? You're just pushing him to his limits to make a decision he may not want to make or be ready to make. It's like telling him what an old great-uncle of mine used to say when he was exasperated or pushed into making a decision he was ready to make--sh** or get off the pot.
If he's not as close to you as he seemed to be, maybe it's because his situation has worsened or intensified and he can't devote time to your neediness. If he feels he has to spend all his time consoling and reassuring you, then he doesn't have the emotional energy (or money, if it's an international call!) to tell you the current status of what's going on with him.
Sometimes you have to be more patient and understanding than you want to be or feel you deserve to be. That's part of being in a grown-up, mature relationship. Hopefully your relationship will survive this rough patch. I hope so. But, think about if it does, and a similar problem comes up for YOU where you need all HIS support and he starts whining you're ignoring him and he's going to test you. How would you feel then? Would you want to pull closer out of desperation not to lose the person while feeling they really don't understand you, or would you look for someone who makes a stronger commitment?
2006-07-04 11:45:27 · answer #1 · answered by goldie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stay with him, but maybe let him know you don't know how much longer you can put up with this behavior. Sometimes love isn't always enough. And it's not fair for you to give so much and not get much back in return. Also he says how much he loves you and I'm not doubting that he does. But actions speak louder then words. He needs to show you more that he loves you. Maybe if this continues to much longer you should tell him you're thinking about seeing other people. Either he'll start showing you how he feels and putting more effort into the relationship. Or he'll just let it happen. This will hurt but at least you'll really know where you stand. Good Luck!!! I hope it all turns out the way you want it to. You're very young so definitely give him a little more time first.
2006-07-04 11:45:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are hard. If it was me. I would write him a letter explaining exactly how you feel. Don't pull any punches lay it all out for him. And see what his response is. If he continues the way he has been it might be time for you to break off and move on
2006-07-04 11:39:56 · answer #3 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should stay with him only if it hurts you a lot should ou move on. If you can't find peace you should let him go. Sometimes you are only with a person so you can learn from the person and move on.
2006-07-04 11:40:11 · answer #4 · answered by Peache264 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋