Is sex before marriage really a sin and punishable by going to hell?

Question

My partner has recently decided that he no longer wants to have sex as we are not married, he is struggling to cope with his guilt and feels that by continually sinning he is risking his soul. When the bible was written surely the whole 'dating thing' just didn't happen, women were 'given' away etc and didn't spend years dating. I don't want to question his faith, we are both Christian but he seems really determined to 'be ready' for the second coming and doesn't want Jesus to leave him behind.

Another thing, he is really consumed with the book of revelations and it scares me the way he talks about the end times, are we really there yet, what with all the conflict at the moment in Israel.

Answer 1

Hi there :)
ok i know this is long but its worth it, it WILL show you how too get too heaven and i promise its worth reading:)

well lets see what the bible says about going too heaven, shall we?

Romans 5:12 tells us that "by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned."

So now man has a problem. (Romans 5:19, "For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.") Romans 3:23 says, "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God". Many of us think that we can be right with God if we just live a good life. "I've attended church for fifty years" some say; but the Bible says that we fall short of God's requirements. Isaiah 64:6 says that our righteousness, or good works, are to God as filthy rags. Ephesians 2:1 says that naturally, we are dead in trespasses and sins. A dead person can't save himself from anything.


So, if you can't save yourself by living right, what can you do? Titus 3:5 says, "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost". Salvation is a free gift; it is God's mercy extended toward us because we cannot save ourselves.


1 Corinthians 15:3-4, "For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures." Man cannot pay for his sins himself, but since Jesus Christ is God, He can. And did. Jesus died for you; for your sins. Acts 16:31 says that we must "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved".


But are there other ways to God; other religions I could follow? The Bible says in Acts 4:12 that "Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved." There is no other name but "Jesus" that brings salvation. Jesus himself said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." There is no other way; there is no other truth.


Jesus shed His blood on the cross to pay for your sin, Matthew 26:28, "For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins."
This was the payment that had to be made, Hebrews 9:22, "And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission."


Many will be lead down the wrong path, and false teachers will mislead them, Matthew 7:13 and 14, "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." The narrow road is the one provided through Jesus Christ. The broad road leads to a place the Bible calls Hell. Jesus taught that Hell is a place of fire; and He gives us an account of a man who died and went there in Luke 16, verses 20-31. God does not want you to go there; that is why He provided a way of escape.


Be careful of a superficial belief, for "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity." (Matthew 7:21-23). Many people will believe what the Bible says about Jesus. They may even do great works for God, but it is not enough just to believe in your mind; you must truly believe in your heart; Romans 10:10, "For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."


Salvation has nothing to do with your good works for God; it is His free gift to you. Salvation is God's mercy extended to us. Ephesians 2:8-9, "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast."

What state are you in? Which road are you on? It is easy to follow the crowd down that broad road to destruction until you find that it is too late. If you are a young person, maybe a teenager, don't put this decision off; Ecclesiastes 12:1 says to "Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not". You may think that you can put this decision off until you are older, but there will come a day when you may not want to be saved. It doesn't matter how old you are, or what you have done; God can forgive your sins. You must believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.

WILL YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS CHRIST AND ASK GOD TO FORGIVE YOU OF YOUR SINS AND TO SAVE YOUR SOUL SO THAT YOU MAY KNOW FOR CERTAIN THAT YOU ARE GOING TO HEAVEN?
if you believe ask God and know your talking too him like this.

just bow your head and pray like this, remember gods looking at your heart and its not some magical prayer its what your saying too him and believing it, say
"Lord jesus Christ, i believe im a sinner and your the only way for me too get too heaven nothing else and i believe you died on the cross too save me from my sins by your blood and you rose again 3 days later defeating death, i believe your God in flesh, im sorry for sinning and my sin, forgive me jesus and now i ask you too come in my heart and save me right now, in jesus name, amen."

http://www.drdino.com/downloads.php this is a good site that can tell you about creation and prove how evolution is wrong, yes full proof its wrong. take care and God bless.

Answer 2

Hmm...
Are these the last days? Plenty of people seem to think so...just like they did 100 years after Joshua Bar Joseph (that's Jesus to the Believers in our audience) died, and pretty much anytime there's been a war since.

Apocalypse-watchers are a funny breed...I should know, I'm a mild one myself. If he's getting obsessed with Revelations, sorry to echo so many others here, but he probably doesn't have the emotional or mental capacity to hold you in a loving heart right now. Is it a sin to have sex before marriage? In today's world, no. If God refuses to acknowledge that while He might not change (though of course he does, otherwise there would never have been a second testament, but let's not get sidetracked here), human beings and their societies do, then He has no right to call himself God. Christianity can be a good and positive thing, when it is practiced in balance with the real world. This sounds like you. Obsessive behaviour of any sort really, but especially obsessive focus on the Book of Revelations, is a path that leads out of that healthy, positive environment into potentially dangerous rationalisations. You may either have to challenge his obsession or lose your man to his God while you do whatever feels right to be good with yours.

Bless you, and I hope some peace and resolution comes quickly to you both.

Answer 3

Well, sex before marriage is call fornication.

Yes, Jesus died on the cross for this sin as well as all others

Paul stated that all is now allowed, but not all is good for us.

Your boyfriend has had an eyeopening experience with Christ and you need to respect that.
Having sex with you is not the only sin that he commits, but one he feels committed to stopping until marriage.

Take this time to get to know him better, and understand your relationship. If you love him, no sex until marriage will be a struggle (as with all sin) but on your wedding night you will be more excited and happy than you can imagine right now.

As to if we are there yet, we do not have the wisdom to know the answer to that question. I know for sure that during the years of Hitler and the Holocost, people were shouting out that the end times were here.
I believe that we havn't even reached the tip of the iceberg yet, on the end times. This is still prelude, we are still in the age of grace, and if this is just the prelude, the end times will be more than we can bear to think about.

Study Revelations, along with Danial and Isaiah. THey all go toghether as far as end times understanding. Study together, you will grow together and your love will grow as you take the time to just learn each others minds and personalities and not the body.

Good luck, and what a wedding night to look forward to !!!

Answer 4

I wish that this format here at yahoo answers allowed for more of a dialouge. My first question would be has your boyfriend suffered what is known as a crisis of fath? This would be an event sometime traumatic somertimes not that triggers a need to ground ones self into their religion for fear of not being in line with their beliefs. THis is a psychology thing really usually one can come out of it pretty well with a little patience and understanding from people around them. Alot of Christians have been waiting for the 2nd coming Jesus's followers thought it would happen during their lifetime.
As fart as the question itself is concerned I think way to much emphisis is placed upon sex both positivly and negatively. If you are a fundamental christian then you should realize that you're saved by Gods grace not by works so doing good and not doing good isn't what saves ya. Relax and don't let outside influences pressure your relationship you are not your beliefs you form your beliefs based off of who and what you are. Look beyond what is on the surface and get to the real issues I would venture to guess that this crisis of faith has less to do with religon than you think and more to do with a deeper underlying issue

Answer 5

If it is really a problem but you really love one another why not just take the plunge and get married. Problem solved. The bible does have a bit to say about fornication.

Deutronomy 22: 28- 29

28If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;

29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

Icor7:1-2,9
1Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Galatian5:19-23 also speaks of it
19Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Whether marriage is the bit of paper you get though or is the fact that in front of witnesses you decide to be faithful to one and the other and you are faithful I am not sure. Pray and let God guide you as fit.

Answer 6

If you are going to get married, it isn't a sin, Did not Mary get pregnant while betrothed, and not married? If its good enough for the mother of Jesus, it should be good enough for you as well. The latest versions of the bible, put out by the fundamentalist believers in revelations have conveniently left out the verse that says the whole book was a dream of Paul's It is only wnat could happen, not wjat definitely will happen and I believe was used as a scare tactic even in those days, as it is now. Give him a king James or older version that has that part in it, and read it with him. You both might be surprised what has been added and deleted just to go along with what the pentecostal church is teaching. If he continues along these lines, you might consider getting him somepsychiatric help and getting him into a more middle of the road church.

Answer 7

Yes and Yes. It's in the bible - however, I think he's focussing too much on the end of the world stuff in there. I good bible study course would be helpful for him and assist him in finding his way back to Christ.

He needs to focus on reading all the parts of the bible, being a good Christian and living correctly according to the Word of God.

So, he's doing the right thing, he's on the right track, is getting a bit too zealous, but I think his general focus is correct. (I'm assuming neither of you go to church seeing as you're having sex before marriage). As a Christian, our focus is not based on the here and now, it's on everlasting life - heaven - what happens after here. Besides the end of the world - anyone of us could die at any time. Are you ready?

God bless him for trying to change his ways and go to Christ. He just needs to hang out, and perhaps date people that are more along the lines of practicing Christians.

PS: You can date men without sleeping with them.

God bless you.

Answer 8

It's all about how you view things. Sex is a very personal decision that only affects the two of you.

Unfortunately, if everything he's doing is worrying you, then he's probably not the right one for you, I'm sorry to say.

I know you've got friends in real life, but it often helps to have an outsider's advice or input. I'm available for just that, and I'm sure there are plenty of others on here if you'd feel someone else would be better to talk to.

Either way, I wish you luck.

Answer 9

Talk about shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted !!!!

He's abstaining after he's already had sex with you, how bizarre.

If he is a Christian then he should know that the bible is Hypocritical anyway....

Example..... God says in the bible " do not build temples in my name" .......and " Lift a stone and I am there" etc etc.

Meaning that God is everywhere, mainly in your heart. If people need a temple to pray to him, then I feel sorry for them.

Jesus gave of himself for mans sins..... But he meant the cruelties we put upon each other, not sharing lovemaking with the one you love. Most of the faiths these days have been made up by man ( they are lies )..... as long as you are a good person and would never do harm unto another, then that's all that matters.

I mean... come on.... are you telling me that someone can go to hell for being faithful, and making love to their partner and then creating a baby, and living happy ever after... but NOT MARRIED.

Yet a person who is married but faithful, but also beats his wife within an inch of her life every month gets to go to heaven because he is MARRIED.

I think your bloke needs a reality check sweetie. But if what he believes is true then I'm going to hell for being a good person who believes in god, but because I'm not married HELL here I come.!!!

Answer 10

God is a God of love. Sin has become a misunderstood and dirty word. God doesn't have love.. he Is Love . Sin is breaking Gods rules for how we should live if we are to be happy., and no human has ever not sinned..and we are told not to judge each other as one 'sin' being 'worse' than another. Sounds like your partner is in need of a bit of self forgiveness. If you hadn't both had sex neither of you would be worrying about this! so already it has hurt you both. Tell God about it together and be friends for now?
It's worked for me, and I used to be a bit of a 'goer'! We can only try not to sin with His help. Bible says all have sinned..no matter how small so as humans we are all doomed. Jesus died for payment, it's free if we ask as individuals. I smoke like a train and sulk a lot but I feel better than before I asked God for help. All we do without feeling Gods love is want to please ourselves by nature of 'the fall'. God being the source of love it is good for you that your boyfriend obeys Him on how to love (and when) in his life or he will end up leaving you in the future and hurting you more then. Sounds like a f..king sermon.. sorry!

Answer 11

Hmmm. I was like that once. I'm an atheist now. Does that help at all? Guess not... but what I mean is that taking extreme positions which are entirely counter to both nature and logic can only be done for so long. Eventually something goes "boing". That can be messy.

Presumably you're planning to stay together, so the concern is how this is going to affect your sex life in the long term. Tread carefully and get help early if you need it. Good luck!