so confused i really have no idea what to do.?

Question

please please dont judge me for saying this, but im 12 weeks preg and i really dont want it. i tried to go thru wit an abortion at 8 weeks but could not face it as i thought i wanted it but i seriously dont, the thing is i have told my family that i do so they have started to get stuff ready, i dont no how to tell them i dont want it now. i just want my life bk to how it was to be able to go out up town when my bf does without the worry or risks. i was told i was infertile cuz of my blood disorder but then i found out im preg. so please dont judge me for wanting the life i had before i got pregnant, life was so simple then i was laughing all the time insted of cryin i was feeling good insted of collapsin an feelin ill all the time i just wanna be me again without my family hatin me

it wouldn be really nice if people read this properly before answerin, i never asked to get pregnant, i was told when i was 16 i was infertile ive had 2 nearly 3 years to come to terms with that and i have i loved having a life then i find out im pregnat i ask you lot for advice without being judged and the first 2 replys i get are blaming me, i didnt no i could get preg it was the professionals (doctors) at the hospital after loads of tests told me i was infertile so please dont blame me foe getting preg cuz i didnt think i could

Answer 1

You can't go back to the life you had. It's gone. Either you'll have the abortion and the memory will haunt you or you'll have the child. From your previous post you're more worried about your boyfriends reaction.

Answer 2

I don't know if this will help, but you do have several options. The obvious one is to put the baby up for adoption so a couple who desperately wants a child to raise can raise yours. The scarier and less certain option would be to have the baby and keep it yourself. I speak from experience in that I was told I was infertile after my first son. I had 5 miscarriages and 30,000 dollars worth of fertility treatments. Six months ago (my son is now 11 1/2), I delivered a beautiful baby girl. I will tell you, I had some similar thoughts, being that the whole baby part of my life seemed done with. The first few months were hard, since the life I had before my daughter was born was essentially gone. But, it has worked out wonderfully-she is a blessing, our lives have adjusted to a more normal routine and I can do many of the things I did before I had her. Just something to think about. However, if you really and truly just don't want this baby, then you will have to be honest and speak with your family about your needs and feelings and that you are going to give the baby up for adoption. Good luck in this most difficut decision!

Answer 3

I feel for you girl, believe me I know what you're going through. The best advice I can give you from my experience is talk to your family. They are your closest support system. YOU are the only one who can make this decision. Sooner or later the abortion option will be out the window so you need to decide soon.

If you would feel better by giving it up for adoption then awesome! You are giving your baby the best life you can give at this point while making some happy couples dreams come true. In a way you're smart. You're not deluded by thoughts of playing house. Babies need so much more care and attention than young people realize.

Your family wont hate you. They may feel sad, but they wont hate you. Do what's right for you. It's not fair to bring a child in this world if you cant provide the kind of life they deserve. Good luck with whatever decisions you make. Don't let anyone's opinion get you down. Only you can decide what's right for you.

Answer 4

When I was 13 I was told that I had gotten sterill when I had a cyst rupture in my tubes...Here I am at 16 and im pregnant, I never wanted to have children I always wanted to adopt. So when I heard the news I was really shocked...I know what your going through its unbelievable to you right now and you scared of the changes that will soon come..I cant say that I know how you feel about abortion because that was never a choice for me.Now im 8 1/2 months and im expecting my son in a few weeks-- I know it will be a big change emotionally, financially and physically but I believe its the right thing to do-- If god thinks that you should not have this baby he will make sure of it, just hang in there it all gets better-- once you feel him/her move for the first time it will all be worth it...Good luck and I wish you the best of luck!!

Answer 5

It is too late for an abortion. If you do not want the child there are millions of people who do. Start looking online into adoption agencies. You can meet/learn about prospective parents online before ever making a decision. Who knows, you might even change your mind... If you thoguht you could not get pregnant and you did then maybe God is telling you something. This child is a miracle and a gift. If you cannot keep it then give him/her to someone who would be so happy to have it. You can't have your old life back, you have to take what you have now and go on. Take it one day at a time. The crying will stop, you will laugh again when you feel that little life move inside of you or see his/her picture for the 1st time. Please consider giving this life to someone who would cherish the baby for the precious gift that it is.

Answer 6

you've already gone through one of the most difficult times of your pregnancy. I know that it was tough and maybe it still is.

Is it possible that you can adjust your thinking knowing that things can never be the same as they were before simply because of what you are going through now. Once that life is diminished how do you think things will be the same. Where's the father now? will he look at you as he did before or is he trying to convince you that things will return to normal if you terminate the pregnancy. If going up town and a carefree life is more important to you than anything else, then I suggest that you open your eyes because even with that type of attitude comes heartache and pain of a different kind.

I believe that you will feel proud of yourself for accepting a responsibility that God has given you. Maybe He is trying to guide you towards a more true and mature love; a deeper relationship with your extended families Seek an answer through sincere prayer and then follow what He instills in your heart

Don't worry, things can get better even though things change.

Answer 7

Okay you are pregnant and in a tailspin. Not only are you confused in your head but your hormones are freaking too. You can't face an abortion, so you must have the baby, but you don't have to keep it. Your family can put pressure on you but you are the one to make the decision, not them.Have you thought of adoption. It is a hard decision, but may be the best thing for your baby. And pardon me for pointing out that it is no longer about you... now it is all about your child. When you get pregnant the focus must change, even when you are not ready to. Do what is right for your baby, and it will be the right thing for you too. If you are not ready to put a child before what you want then please let someone raise it who is ready to do just that. And thank you for caring enough to at least ask for help even if it is just an opinion.

Answer 8

I understand, it's all very overwhleming isn't it?!
I'm 11 weeks but married and we wanted this baby, but we are still very nervous and scared!
I don't agree with abortion because of all the couples out there who can't have children, and would love to take yours!
I'm glad you couldn't go through with the abortion! They tell you it's not a living thing, it's just a mass of cells or a blood mass, but it's not! At 6 days they have a heart beat!
I know how your hormones are all out of whack! It's hard and it drives me and my husband up the wall!
My advice is go through with the pregnancy, give birth and give the baby up for adoption, if you need a good agency try LDS Social Servives! They are great! They are through a church, but you would know your baby would be in a great home! You can still recieve pictures and such if you still want it!
I'm not judging you because everyone situation is different! But this is my advice, if you don't like it, take it with a grain of salt! I hope there was something in there to help!
Relax, you won't be pregnant forever!
I would tell your family that you don't want to keep it! If they love you, which i'm sure they do, they should respect your decision!
Good Luck!

Answer 9

I'm glad you didn't have an abortion. I think you should have the baby but give it up for adoption, there are MANY, MANY people out there that can't have get pregnant but still want to raise a child. Don't worry about your family they'll probably support you in either decision you make. I would next time wait to get married before having sex again. Do what's best for your baby growing in you!

Answer 10

Be honest with your family. Right now you're emotions are being affected by hormones and you may feel differently later in your pregnancy but if, in the ne, you really don't want to raise your child, adoption is a good choice and there are a lot of different ways to do that depending on whether you want to be in your child's life or not. Talk to your minister and doctor too. Don't panic - this will work itself out for you if you remain calm and allow the people who love you to help. God bless you honey.

Answer 11

well i must say look into adoption, there are many people like myself and my husband that are wanting to adopt. But most private agencies come with a high price attached to a childs head 25000 or more expecially for caucasion babies. ask around there are a lot of people in churches that would love to do a identified adoption. Also if you have health insurance coverage, all you need to do is find the right family. What state are you in.