She was more moody then normal, had tried weed in the past and cigerettes, so her Mom decided to test her every so often, well she just failed both the Marijuana (pot) test and the Nicotine (Cigerette) test. Is grounding her for the whole summer a good way to handle it?
2006-07-04 08:10:21 · 22 answers · asked by distalbicept 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I agree that just punishing her will not solve the problem. She might be suffering from anxiety or depression. How many happy people become drug users?? not many. They are using to deal with emotional issue or to just forget them for awhile. At 14 everything is a crisis and maybe she just need help with coping with some issues she is afraid to talk to you about. Tell her you love her and are willing to listen to her stresses. If she cant talk to you because of being afraid of what might happen to her , seek out regular counceling. Let her know that talking to someone doesnt mean shes crazy or weak. You are doing it because you love her and want to be there for her. I never did drugs as a teen but did turn to them when I was a young adult because i had fallen into a deep depression. Now that Im getting help with my depression I have no use for drugs :) gl and be strong
2006-07-04 09:17:18 · answer #1 · answered by The Kings 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Instead of grounding her, you should find marginably fun activities that will take the whole summer.
The idea is that all inclusive punishment can only go so far. It doesn't work in the long term. You can't follow her around all of the time when the punishment is over so there might be serious trouble there.
Instead of letting her choose what to do for the summer, schedule her life for the summer. Put her in educational activities, perhaps a summer camp, or something else. The goal should specifically be to get her around different people who don't like pot and to her to have fun. That would be far more effective.
If nothing else have her spend all of her time with you. Make sure that includes a lot of play time between you and her.
2006-07-04 11:42:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen. When we are young we never want to be our parents. Sure it is not good to do drugs or smoke. The more we say no without good medical reason the more they will do. Make an appointment with your family doctor. They can help explain all the medical reason why don´t do this.
Get the child and you involved in a family program. In this program you will learn how to deal with the problem of drugs or alcohol. Also the child learns why they want to do this thing. Many times it is a dare or because someone rejected them or to simply be cool. Once the root of the cause is found the situation can be cured.
Check out
NA or AA programs. The whole family goes not just the child. I am sure you have something to learn too.
2006-07-04 08:19:40 · answer #3 · answered by thebulktiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the grounding. But more importantly she needs to find new interests and new friends. Rather than just grounding her and making her sit at home. Make sure her time is filled with positive activities. There are generally alot of them available through the summer. Hopefully through these activities she'll find new friends. Allow her to go to those activies only or to family activities. And no matter how hard it is don't give in. We went down a similar path with our daughter last fall.
2006-07-06 10:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by Laurie L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you get a chance, and I am not even sure if its on the web or not..but look into The Parent Project. Its a parenting system for parents of at-risk teens. They have a great system that can help you work through this tough time in your teens life. First and foremost..tell her you love her..but you don't have to put up with that kind of behavior..she will be 18 soon enough ..good luck
2006-07-04 17:34:15 · answer #5 · answered by Laceyfromcali 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would agree that punishing a teenager just makes whatever they are being punished for look all that much more appealling. I think talking to her about it is more important than grounding her. Putting a 14 year old in her room all summer is just going to make her resentful, it won't accomplish anything. And telling her to change her group of friends is not going to work either because she'll just hang out with them and lie to her mother about it. In order to have an honest relationship, which is what you should aim for, you need to talk to the teenager with respect and value their feelings and opinions.
2006-07-04 08:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by jet_333 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to make sure that she knows that you are serious about her stopping her behavior, give her a spanking. Or maybe let her experiment here and there, give her maybe more freedom instead. Just make sure that she knows that you really care about her and that is why you do not want her to smoke pot. Punishment wont do anything if she does not really understand the purpose, and sometimes kids just do things becasue they know they can get in trouble for it.
2006-07-04 08:23:28 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably, she will still find a way of doing those things if she is determined too. Try counseling. Give her the facts about what can happen to you with using those substances. Be graphic. Scare the hell out of her.
2006-07-04 08:54:36 · answer #8 · answered by jdc591 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ground her for the summer and take away all forms of entertainment in her room except maybe a few books, no talking on the phone, no tv, no video games, just a book.
2006-07-04 08:16:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Detox - - - - Time for her to step up to the plate.
As far as grounding how about the whole school year that should get her attention
2006-07-06 21:05:04 · answer #10 · answered by jsnmlk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋