sister-in-law...how should i handle this TODAY????

Question

i just found out that my sister-in-law has been spreading a rumor that i slept with my husband's best friend. i didn't (in case you're wondering) and i was really hurt by this. my husband works away from home every other week and he's gone this week. i told him, but there's nothing he can do from where he is. also, she just got out of jail, but she's probably going back soon and my husband and i have custody of her kids. i think that might be why she resents me. anyway, she's coming over today to watch fireworks. how should i handle this situation? should i confront her? what would you do?

Answer 1

sounds like she isn't worth a confrontation. I'm sure your husband is aware of what she is. Just act as if nothing is wrong, stay away from her.. it will be over with before you know it and she will be back in jail where she belongs soon. As long as your husband doesn't believe any of her lies, then don't give her the satisfaction of causing a scene. that is probably what she wants you to do, you be the mature adult.

Answer 2

She obviously resents you and probably the fact you are everything she never could be for her children or in life in general. There is a good chance she thinks you won't have the guts to face her down on it and that you are to much a nice person to react to it.

So, I wouldnt do it alone if you choose to make an issue of it. If you say something to her about it you will want witness's to back up everything that is being said.

She may also have a strategy worked out she is playing on.

The simply answer maybe to just ignore her but make sure you arent alone with her. If she wants you to bite just tell her point blankly that you are no 5 year old telling tales on others anymore unlike some and she quite simply isnt worth your time.

Then simply turn your back and walk away ignoring her.

The snub will do more then all the words in the world will achieve.
Just make sure both her kids and yours are out of harms way, however you feel, they don't deserve to be a part of anything that is said.

Answer 3

I think what I would do is, when she comes over tonight, I would ask her if she is in fact spreading these rumors about you and if so why? If not then let it go for now until the rumors start up again. If you don't have a problem being around your sister-in-law, invite her over to your house a lot while your husband is gone. Even tell her that she can drop in on you any time for a visit(which I might add, I really don't like it when someone just drops in on me) but at least she will know that nothing is going on with you and who ever she thinks that you are seeing.

Answer 4

If you are having a family reunion today, I suggest that you dont confront her there. Try to avoid her as much as you can. If your husband knows about the situation and he knows whats the deal then you are fine, cause that is the important thing, that you didnt do it and that he knows what is happening. She is probably very mad that you are taking care of her kids and probably going back to jail. When the time is right talk to her, not alone, you might never know how she might react.

Answer 5

im sorry, and yes maybe she resents u because u have her children. if i were u, take her in a seperate room, away from the crowd, and ask her if there is a problem. ur husband should believe that u did nothing w/ his friend because of her situation. i would just try to resolve any hurt feelings with her. such as telling her u do not mean to hurt her by having her children. i really hope this helps. but hun, some people hold grudges to their grave, so dont get yourself down over this, and just know that if ur husband knows u didnt sleep w/ his best bud then that is all u really need.

Answer 6

What the heck???? What a terrible mess you are in! You certainly should NOT confront her in front of the children- it sounds like they have enough going on. You certainly should talk to her about this, but quite frankly if this person has been incarcerated and has had her children taken from her and you say she might be going back- well she has got serious issues and your talking it out with her probably really won't change things. I realize that it's unpleasant ( to say the least ) when someone says very hurtfull and untrue things about you to others, but there is a much bigger more important problem here, and you need to focus on helping her children.

Answer 7

Oh my. She sounds...interesting. I would definitely confront her. I would just ask her what made her think that you were sleeping with your husband's friend, and why she feels the need to spread that (false) information around. Be "grown-up" and civil about it, but definitely talk to her about it. She sounds like she has a lot of problems and she probably is resentful of you because of your stability. It's weird though. Why would she want to cause problems in the home that her children are living in?

Answer 8

I would say confront her, but not today. Get together with her tomorrow or sometime soon, face to face, and let her know that what she's saying is hurting you and that's it's completely untrue. Don't do it on the 4th of July, though, just let the kids and the rest of the family enjoy the fireworks.

Answer 9

A confrontation will just lead to chaos. Leave it alone. If you know the truth and your husband knows the truth , why worry about what others think?

If she just got out of jail and is probably going back, then people know better than to listen to her anyway. Her actions speak volumns about her character.

Enjoy the day, don't create problems for yourself.

Answer 10

She sounds like a problem and she isn't worth your time. DO NOT confront her, you will just stir up more trouble and probably start a shouting match. Hold your head up... YOU know it's a lie, so you don't need to justify yourself to her or anyone else. by confronting her, it looks like you are VALIDATING what she has said... don't be defensive, just avoid her as much as you can. Be polite and just enjoy the fireworks... the ones in the sky, not the ones from her mouth!