our son will be six years old i really need help with this one
2006-07-04 07:25:20 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
this was a abusive relationship and thats why i left
2006-07-04 07:26:01 · update #1
NO ITS NOT A COURT ORDER BUT HE DOES PAY SUPPORT
2006-07-04 16:30:23 · update #2
HE HAS NEVER SENT GIFTS CALLED ABOUT HIM SENT CARDS NOTHING BEEN A DEAD BEAT DAD FOR 5 YEARS NOW HE WANTS BACK IN FOR SOME REASON HE IS LIVING WITH A WOMAN AND HAS A NEWBORN BABY
2006-07-04 16:45:58 · update #3
He has a motive for wanting to see his son after all these years. You need to find out if his motives are good ones or bad ones. If he isn't paying you child support he needs to start doing that immediately. Very seldom do abusive people change and you have every right to be wary of this man. As for his rights, he lost many rights when he walked away from his son.
2006-07-04 07:43:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
It may be hard, but you might want to let him see his son, but I'd pick a public place. If your son is mature enough to understand, at that age he most likely is not, then tell him ahead what's going on. Most likely he won't even know who this man is. You didn't say anything about if you have full custody or if he has ever paid child support. He very careful with him, there is no telling why all of the sudden he wants to see him. I think the first thing you need to do is contact DHS dept of human services and find out your options. THe only reason I made the first suggestion was that in the future when your child is older he might blame you for not letting his dad see him but again something here doesn't seem quite kosher.. why after 5 years with not contact is he coming around again. Could it be to try to get back with you.
2006-07-04 14:31:08 · answer #2 · answered by funnyface53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he been paying chid support? Has he sent cards and gifts for your son's birthday's and other holidays? Has he kept in contact via letters, phone calls? Has he ever been there when your son was ill or injured? If not, then I say hell no!
My daughter (now 11) hasn't heard from her father in over 2 years (and the last we knew, he was only living about 30 minutes away from us) - the last phone # we had was disconnected months ago and I don't even know where his mother is living to try and get in contact with him.
If he hasn't stepped up to the plate and been a Dad, then he has no rights to just waltz back into your lives and take up where he left off.
2006-07-04 14:34:40 · answer #3 · answered by rabilac2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's hard... i have a ten year old that hasn't met his father, but i think i would let him if he did come back. problem is, this guy might come meet his son, get the hopes of a six year old up and then break his heart by never showing up again. you can't really stop him from meeting your son and eventually one day he might seek him out anyway when he's older. do the meeting, make sure you're there and have a real heart to heart with your son afterwards. he's too young to know all of the details of your failed relationship, but be as honest as you can with him.
2006-07-04 14:32:26 · answer #4 · answered by gummi bear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since he is the father then he probably has every right to see his child. I wouldn't let him take the child though. Make sure that you are always around. You left the relationship because he was abusive? How is he treating you now? Is he giving you more respect than he used to? Are you afraid that your child will be in danger? If you are then you might have to take legal action. The child's safety is most important.
2006-07-04 14:32:17 · answer #5 · answered by Pinky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have a new woman pushing him. Does he pay support? Is there a court order. Most of the time they loose interest after a couple visits....but I would make sure he doesn't want to grab him and run. Talk to a good lawyer...if you can find one....
2006-07-04 14:29:24 · answer #6 · answered by onedot.darling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Immediatly get the court involved. Department of Children and Families (or whatever it is in your city) handles these situations everyday and can tell you exactly what to do.
You need a mediator between you and your abuser. Also you need an objective third party to see how he is with the kid. Remember though, your kid will be angry if he finds out that "Daddy Dearest" tried to contact him and you prevented it. Reasons don't matter for kids, they will always believe the best of their parents and blame you for not knowing his father.
That said you also have to protect yourself. I am truely sorry for you situation.
2006-07-04 14:33:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's the father for your child, but remember he is abusive. You don't know what he will do.
Does the child know about his father?
If the child can understand let him know what kinda person he is before he find out from others. And make him understand it's not a shame.
If you do decided to let him see the child, make sure the a police officer is there.
2006-07-04 14:34:11 · answer #8 · answered by *Cutie* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it was an abusive relationship , then you must not cast a shadow of ur relationship on the child as these are the years which makes the child memory and if ur ex is still what he was earlier , then for the child's future sake dont let him come near the child coz children learn things easily and itll get stuck in his mind for long term
2006-07-04 14:31:09 · answer #9 · answered by amit n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can delay him but he'll be able to get visitation in court.
If you trust him with the kid, let him visit him-your son might get something good from it.
If you don't trust him, go to court immediately or have a family member supervise the visit until you can get a ruling in court.
2006-07-04 14:34:27 · answer #10 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋