Do most restaurant goers have good manners and what to do if you're invited somehwere but you don't?

Question

My parents were raised in the country, and were poor. sure we used knives and forks, but I don't know much about etiquette or anyof that UPper class way of living. I'm especially scared of going to restaurants or going out to eat with someone because i know wi will look like a dumby.. lilke PASTA would really be challenging, and i usually get messy. At one time , when i was employed in this Enginnering company, they invitied me to a big party...and you know i was about the only minority non-rich person, and had never eaten in highclass restaurants. I tell ya, i didn't know how to act , what to do.. and it was making me feel bad. They had glasses of water all around the table and i didn't know what to do.. if i should drink or not..

anyways, so,how do you deal when you go out with someone to a restaurant? i'm not going to go and get etiquette lessons , so don't even suggest that. Should i just order food that i can eat with my hands?^^

Answer 1

Just a couple of things off the top of my head.

1. Use your silverware from the outside (away from the plate) in.

2. Napkin goes in your lap.

3. Watch what others are doing.

Answer 2

First things first - I'm a minority from inner-city Philadelphia, and I have often been the only minority non-rich person at dinners etc. Don't feel bad or ashamed or afraid of going out to eat. There is a line from Oklahoma "I won't say I'm no better than anybody else, but I'll be damned if I ain't just as good!" Believe that and you'll have won half the battle!

Most "upper class" restaurants won't have anything on the menu that you can eat with your hands. You don't need to sign up for etiquette lessons.There are some basic rules to dining etiquette that are very simple to remember.

Rule one - Don't order the most expensive thing on the menu.

If it is a business dinner and there are several people ordering off the menu, let a few other people order first - just say you're still making up your mind - so you can get an idea what price range you should be in. You don't want to order the least expensive thing on the menu either - but if everyone else is having the lobster and steak, then go for it!



Rule two - You eat to your left and you drink to your right.

In other words, the small plate to your left is your bread plate; any glassware to your right is yours. So go ahead and drink up! But if someone takes your bread plate (which happens a lot!) just wait until everyone else has figured out which bread plat is theirs and get the one that's left over or get another one from the waiter. True etiquette is NOT pointing out other people's mistakes!

Rule three - you eat from the outside in.

If you have more than one fork at you place setting, start with the one to the farthest left. If they are serving a salad or appetizer, that will be your salad or appetizer fork. The next fork in will be your entree fork. If you have more than one spoon, the spoon farthest right will be your soup spoon. If you skip the salad or appetizer, skip the salad or appetizer fork!

Rule four - Don't put it back on the table.

Once you have used a piece of silverware, do not put if back on the table. Rest the silverware across the plate you are using. That way when you are done the silver is taken away with the plate!

Rule five - One bite at a time.

Huh?! Well let's start with bread. Generally, you should take one piece of bread or roll. Take some butter from the butter dish and place it on your plate. Use the butter knife with the dish if there is one - if not use the knife at your place setting. Tear off a piece of the bread, butter it and eat it - don't butter the whole slice or the whole roll.

When your entree arrives, if you have meat cut one piece of meat, put down the knife and eat that piece of meat. You only cut meat up entirely for little children. Plus if you have leftovers (doggy bag!), it is easier to re-heat a hunk of meat instead of itty bitty pieces.


Those are the basics and will get you through most situations (in addition to don't talk with your mouth full and elbows off the table, napkin on the lap - but you knew those already!) As some other people suggested just watching what other people do will help you feel more comfortable. The most important thing is to enjoy yourself and allow other people to enjoy you!

Peace,
CC

Answer 3

My suggestion is pick an item that isn't messy. For instance, I wouldn't pick a pasta dish that has long noodles or lots of sauce. Especially if you haven't practiced twisting the spaghetti around the spoon much. In regards to eating anything else.

If there is multiple forks, the order is outer to inner. So the outer fork would be for like a salad, and so on. Napkin on lap. Watch other people. Don't be the first to move. Observation is the best method to learn. A lot of people say that when you finish, you move the silverware to the edge of a plate, on the right, diagonal. This informs the waiter your done. That is all i can suggest.

Answer 4

First thing when you sit down, place your napkin on your lap, sit up straight, with utensils you go from the outside in. Do not put your elbows on the table, it's okay to drink from the water glasses, pay attention to what other people are doing, be polite to your waiters, say thank you and please, tip well. Then just relax and be calm, it's not as big of a deal as you may think, as long as you're not rude everyone will like you and it won't matter what you eat. Just try to avoid eating messy foods, order something you know is easy to cut and eat without getting it everywhere. If you can't avoid being served messy food, don't eat too much of it. You can always order cheeseburgers later!

Answer 5

Use the silverware from the outside in.

Be sure to put the napkin in your lap. With messy foods, it's not uncommon to ask for another napkin if you have to.

Don't slurp any drinks.

Cut up food such pasta rather than trying to get it around the fork or slurping it.

Try not to put your elbows on the table.

Don't be shoving it in. Eating slower is better to enjoy the social atmosphere and it's healthier too.

Observe others around you and let them be your guide.

Answer 6

Pick up a book on manners and watch how other people act in a nice restaurant BEFORE you go. It's good that you are concerned. By the way, not everyone who can afford to eat in an expensive restaurant has nice manners - regretfully.

Answer 7

well if you want to leave in a hurry just pass gas. that should seal it for you