We started dating one month ago and he's literally the greatest thing thats ever happend to me. We laugh we sing we dance and make wonderful love almost every other night. He buys me flowers and calls me and texts me every single day...but for some reason, I don't feel as strongly for him as he does for me. I find my self giggling when ever he holds me and tells me he loves me. I think that I'm still not over my ex that broke up with me a year ago. I'm not being fair to my new boyfriend, and I don't want to hurt him and make a mistake.
2006-07-04 06:20:53 · 26 answers · asked by Evelyn 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You sound like my ex girlfriend. Girl, don't lead him on. It hurts like hell. I know. Tell him straight how you feel. As soon as possible. It's not fair to him.
All the best!
2006-07-04 06:26:29 · answer #1 · answered by DazedAndConfused 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a plus that you realize that this isn't fair to your boyfriend, but it's not black and white either. You said you don't feel as strongly about him - do you care about him romantically, be honest to yourself as hard as it may be. If you do care about him, then I would suggest that you have a heart to heart with him, letting him know exactly where you stand regarding him and how much the hurt/wall is still there from your ex. A year is a long time to still not be over him - you do need to move on with your life. If you realize that you don't truly care for him in a romantic way, more like super great friends, then you should let him go. I did that, and it is hard, but I know I did the right thing because, as you said, it isn't fair to the other person. Feelings in a relationship need to be pretty equal or the relationship will be off kilter and going down the wrong road. Good luck.
2006-07-04 06:32:49 · answer #2 · answered by luvwhitelilacs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's time to let go of the pass. the sooner you do, you'll feel better about the future. i do know what you're going thou but you can't be there for your new boyfriend by holding your love for someone else. Why do you feel you don't deserve him, and why did you become his girl if you felt that way? It seems you needed sometime alone before you became his girl. Sometimes when people break up... they need love and run to someone new and it's not out of love. Now you are back at the start , without the one you love, and you probably will lose this guy who you think is a great catch. If this new guy is a great catch, then tell him that you need sometime to put things together, then see how you feel when he is gone, if you miss him, maybe you like him more then you think,. good luck, be happy, live , love and be loved. Jr.
2006-07-04 06:45:44 · answer #3 · answered by buckwheat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question (you don't deserve him) and hopefully you will do the right thing here so that you can grow to become a woman that deos deserve a great guy in the future.
You need to break things off with him and spend some time figuring out ALONE how you can get stronger, more confident and smarter about picking guys.
Be a mature woman and realize that you still need to grow and then go do the things needed to attain that growth -- spend a year or two focused on just doing things that will impress YOU (getting an educational degree, promotion at work, fixing a prb with your parents, visit family / old friends, vecome a mentor, etc...
2006-07-04 06:25:15 · answer #4 · answered by Finnale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound very young and being such, its a good thing that he's a boyfriend and not a husband. Dating is for discovering; not only who he is but also who he is not. I'm not saying that you should lead him into thinking that you are in a serious relationship and screw around, but...If you've only been dating a month, and he's talking about love, you need to slow things down. Or at least let him know that you are not on the same wavelength.
You're dating not married, have fun and don't believe for a second that you should be expected to relinquish you freedom. Save that for marriage!
2006-07-04 06:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by Squatting Monkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always tough when someone love your and you don't feel the same way. or vice versa. My only suggestion is to think of if there's even a chance for you and your ex, and if so, would he hurt you again? But right now, You're not being honest with your boyfriend. And honesty is the basis of the relationship. I honestly believe you have a great guy, from what I've read. But you also can't express emotions that aren't there.
2006-07-04 06:26:04 · answer #6 · answered by tearsofblood943 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never be able to fully commit to someone when you are still not over your ex. If you really want to be fair to your new boyfriend, then tell him that you're not ready for a relationship. Sure, you're going to hurt him, but whether you tell him now, tell him later, or stay with him when you don't really love him, there's no way he's not going to be hurt. Better to do it sooner than later. And then you can send him my way.
2006-07-04 06:24:35 · answer #7 · answered by besoseda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a very difficult situation but the best thing to do is probably to just let him know. Don't let him fall more in love with you and stay because you feel bad. You have got to make yourself happy and if he doesn't do it for you then he definitely isn't the right person for you. Best of luck.
2006-07-04 06:23:19 · answer #8 · answered by betterlife_travel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is not you that is at fault. Your boyfriend may be insecure and wants to feel close to someone. Nothing wrong with that I guess. Tell him you love him when the time is right for you. Don't give up on him because he sounds very sincere. Best wishes.
2006-07-04 06:26:56 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Sunflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, you're not over your former relationship. But you should be!
A guy treats you the way you should be treated, you have fun, enjoy each other's company, and you think you don't deserve it? You are whacked, girl.
Get over yourself, and enjoy what you've got. There's not a lot of good ones out there, so don't force one away because of the past. It's over, gone, let it go
2006-07-04 06:26:56 · answer #10 · answered by lowflyer1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋