Recently became friends with benefits, with my ex-boyfriend, and good friend. We decided not to opt for a relationship, due to the fact that when he goes back to school, he's 3 1/2+hrs away.
so long story short. is it actually possible for a friends with benefits relationship to work?
it's something Ive never tried before, so who knows.
2006-07-04 06:04:02 · 18 answers · asked by Cass 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes...it can. Depends on the maturity of the individuals though. Will you be able to tell him about a significant lover when you meet one? Can he tell you tell you about his lover? That's how you know if you're intimate friends...by how comfortable you are sharing information as well as your bodies!
2006-07-04 06:27:39 · answer #1 · answered by westgaliberty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
3 1/2 hours is not very far if people care about each other. You could be in a relationship instead of a fly-by-night friend with benefits thing. All this does is allow either of you, particularly him to enjoy sex with you and as many others as he wants at the same time.
I think you need to be friends/ no benefits other than your friendship. This way, if he is dating others, there is no jealousy or hurt feelings. If he really wants more from you, let him give up all other conquests and commit to you alone.
Why would he ever do that if you allow him to have his cake and eat it too?
2006-07-04 07:23:35 · answer #2 · answered by purplewings123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very difficult, as you have this history as well (as opposed to someone that you simply start as friends with benefits). The relationship brought emotions in to the picture, which is hard to let go. This is what you need to be careful of. I would say if you are looking for a friends with benefits situation, you need to find someone that you don't have history with. And, then you must still be very careful.
2006-07-04 06:11:48 · answer #3 · answered by Roach25486 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I started being friends with benefits, with my ex also my best friend. I only let it last for like a week or two I couldn't handle the pressure. I don't think that friends with benefits could ever work, to many emotions envolved.
2006-07-04 06:27:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends on the people,and if u r both on the same page i had a friend since i was 9 and we became intimate when we were 19 and stayed together until we were 21 we dont sleep togther any more but we r still best friends,we just decided we were better as friends then lovers,and its all cool but its not that way for everyone
2006-07-04 06:15:29 · answer #5 · answered by Sherry Baby ( Ethan's Mama ) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly i dont believe it works because its not a real relatioinhiop and its only based on sex so thats not going to get you anywhere, and if he finds another girl to screw hes gnna drop you like you were nothing and if you get hrut then it will be your own loss plus it degrades you. your a woman, you shouldnt let something this low be a high lighti n your life, you should find a man who is worth your while and who is wililng to treat you like a lady that you are and not some guys "side lady", sounds bad but honestly its for your own good. ive had a guy ask me to do that and first thing i told him waas to grow up and later i found a guy who treats me great and it was worth the wait.
2006-07-04 06:11:02 · answer #6 · answered by babe 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well I think he just wants a wet warm place to put it when he can’t get it someone else! Love yourself b/c we may all be different but well all are exquisite in every way and you need to find someone that thinks that too! If you think he likes you b/c him is giving it to you, you are sadly wrong and he will never respect you or love you for it, and next time if he asked me for some, I would tell him to kiss my ***!!! It’s only based on sex so that is not going to get you anywhere at all and never will you be in his heart! You need love not sex! And he sounds like he just wants to score I’m only 22 I don’t know your age, but think about you whole life? Is SEX worth having his kid to lug around with you the rest of you life or catch something off of him from some other girl he banged, you want that? DO YOU? B/c if you do then just be his little dirty secret! And don’t blame him if you get hurt! And those other girls on here that said, “OH it will work, OH it will” “Nothing like a friendly ****” Well I have news for you! You need someone that will always be there when you wake up in the morning and someone to just hold you, and love you, and not ask you for sex until it is the right time to and have a relationship with them! Those girls that have friends with benefits are nothing but lonely, shallow, Slut Whores!!!!!!! Do you want to be like them? I know you have feelings for him but have feelings for yourself! I know by asking all of us that you are not shore to just be some mans plaything, and you are more of a person for questioning it, than those other girls, they are the type that will never have any one! Men want devils in bed and Angels to live life with!
2006-07-04 08:38:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've been there. It cannot work. One of you will feel differently one day, whether it be feelings or wanting to break it off, and one of you (if not both) will get hurt. 'Friends with benefits', and i know from experience, can work for e reasonable period of time - just be careful.
2006-07-04 07:38:35 · answer #8 · answered by amyeighteenlancaster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anything is possible! however..
its impossible to have sex with someone over an extended period of time and not develop feelings for that person.
sex is very powerful, it was designed to take place between husband and wife to make the marriage bond stronger. you are actually becoming one with that person when you are having sex. why do you think it hurts so much when you break up with someone after you have had sex with them? it's not natural to try to have sex without getting emotionally attached...
so friends with "benefits" would i advise it no...unless you want to become emotionally involved with him again and then try to bring (your emotions) under control again once he leaves...
2006-07-04 06:20:08 · answer #9 · answered by heresthedeal 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i have been in a siuation like this before and i think that u should just hang in their and if u feel that its not working then just tel him but keep in mind that this is a very hard situation to be in and thatit dosnt always work out the way u want it too!
good luck
2006-07-04 06:11:47 · answer #10 · answered by ally 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋