Post a Funny story?

Question

The best will be decided by a public vote

Answer 1

two nights ago, I heard something upstairs. It was like, 3 in the morning, and it was coming from the room right after coming off the stairs. Anyways, it was really loud. Like a thwack!. I heard it like, 8 times. I was sooo scared. I started to cry and all, and I ran into my laundry room and hid under a pile of clothes, in case it was a robber or something. As you can tell, I have a very active imagination.. my mind was reeling about wth it was. I sat there under those clothes for about 2 hours because I was soooooo darn scared, and waited until my dad woke up and came downstairs. So, I was sooo relieved, and ran up the stairs, my dad must have been like, "wtf was that??!"
I looked around the kitchen, I was SO curious as to wth that noise was..



It turns out, it was just a balloon hitting the ceiling fan in that room.. I felt so stupid.

Answer 2

tinything54- I read that! I think it was in Seventeen or Cosmo Girl or something like that
Ok my funny story it that I was playing Bat mitten with my cousins and I hit the birdie and I didn't know where it went so I was looking all over and was like where did it do then I looked up and saw it going straight at me. It bounced off my head and I was so stunned by it that was was walking backwards going to fall and then I fell into my cousin's slide and slid down to the grass!

Answer 3

Im a nurse, so I have lots of stories. Here's one I'll never forget, there was this lady who was pleasantly confused. I asked her how she was doing, she said she was up a creek without a paddle, but it sure was nice. I asked her another time what she was doing she said, nothing... just sitting here, drinking a beer. (obviously nothing in her hand). I was standing there talking to her and she just busts out with aren't they delicious? I asked her what she was talking about , she said my elbows. (hers) I busted out laughing and she said well they are. I barely made it out of her room I was laughing so hard, I could barely stand up. Hope you liked it.

Answer 4

here's on i called Make a Wish

10 year old Johnny's mother, who was a hard working single mom, had been promising for some time now to buy poor Johnny a bike.
Johnny, who loved his Momma dearly, hadn't made a big deal about it for a long time, but suddenly decided NOW was the right time to ask. So he rushes downstairs to tell his Momma that he wanted his bike and he wanted it now.
He gets downstairs, looks around, doesn't see his mother, so he rushes back upstairs, opens the door to his mother's room and stops dead in his tracks, 'cause there was his Momma, laying stark naked on her bed, rubbing herself all over repeating " Oh,I need a man, Ohhh I need a man."
Johnny, who was naturally a little stunned by the sight, backs quietly out the door and goes back to his room.
Well, a few days passes and Johnny works up the nerve to once again tell his Mother that he wants his bike and he wants it NOW. So he rushes downstairs, doesn't see his mother, he rushes upstairs, opens Momma's door and there once again was his Mother, laying stark naked on the bed, Rubbing herself all over and repeating " Oh, I need a man. Ohhh,I need a man." Once again he backs out quietly.
Well, this time it took little Johnny a bit longer to muster up the nerve to demand his bike, but he finally does and rushes downstairs, No Momma, so he rushes upstairs, throws Momma's door open and there to his amazement was his Momma, lying stark naked on her bed, but this time she had a man on top of her.
Johnny backs out of the room, walks quietly down the hall to his room and sits on his bed. He thinks about what he has just witnessed for a while and then, just like a bolt of lightning had struck, Johnny jumps up and screams " I GOT IT !!!!!!"

JOHNNY PEELS ALL OF HIS CLOTHES OFF, LIES STARK NAKED ON HIS BED AND STARTS TO RUB ALL OVER HIMSELF REPEATING " OH, I NEED A BIKE, OOOOHHHHHHHH I NEED A BIKE"

Answer 5

ok this didn't happen to me i read it in a magazine....

this girl was working hard on an essay she was writing during class and she was soo focused. when a cute guy asked her for a pencil, so without pausing to look away from her essay, she kept on writing and reached in her bag for a pencil. she stuck it up tin the air for him to grab, but he wasn't taking it, she shook her hand but he still didn't take it, for the last time she shook the item in her hand violently and said "take the freaking pencil already!" but he still didn't take it, when she looked up, he was giving her the weirdest look, she looked in her hand and realized she was trying to give him a tampon.

Answer 6

There was the story I heard about a man filling his penis (c-ck) with INK,
His wife said
WHAT ARE YOU F--KING DOING,?
WHY? Are you filling that thing with INK,
He said its so when we make LOVE
if I can`t c-m I will write

Answer 7

I remeber before I graduated My friend and I were goin upstairs she fell got back up so fast she made me laugh even harder

Answer 8

once i was bein cute and i was walkin up a icey hill lookin @ this boy and i slid down and fell backwards and he thought it was so funny it was so many ppl outside that seen me Lmao

Answer 9

its 2 embarrasing to post online

Answer 10

This is a funny joke that I like

This is how business is done
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"

Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"

Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"

Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!