my son is 20 months and the past few weeks i have noticed that whenever i bring him to the shop he will cry and cry till he gets what he wants for example i brought him to the shop today and he lay on the ground outside and would not move because i didnt get him something as i am a loan parent i cant leave him anywhere when going to the shop.. is it just something kids do or how am i suppose to control it?
2006-07-04 05:45:18 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
plus we are going on vacation tomorrow for 2 weeks and im not sure how to keep him calm on the flight its for 4 and a half hours
2006-07-04 05:58:08 · update #1
So long as you acknowledge the behavior it will continue. I have found in 30 years that giving into a child reinforces negative behavior. You have to stand your ground - yes even in public - and make sure that he knows that this type of behavior is not tolerated and if need be embrrass him.
( 21 years ago my son did a similar thing. I left him and hid behind a rack in a store. when he couldnt find me he panicked - he never did it again). I dont necessarily reccommend doing that now. someone might report you for abuse. But sometimes effective parenting needs creative thinking.
2006-07-04 05:52:06 · answer #1 · answered by psstoffagain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All kids throw tantrums. Toddlers and preschoolers are NOTORIOUS for it. However, just because its normal does not mean you should just let it be. When he throws his fit, leave the store. Just leave the cart and take him out to the car to calm down. When he does talk to him and tell him why you left the store. Do not try to bribe him to be good or give him what he wants to shut him up. All that will do is teach him that throwing a fit will get him what he wants. A firm "no" is all that is needed. No apology is needed to other patrons. Most other shoppers have been there too and will understand (as will store employees). Kids at this age are testing their boundaries and want to see what they can get away with. Being firm but caring will work in the long run. To help stall tantrums before they start, try to make sure he's not tired or hungry when you go shopping. Bring along a book or toy that he can play with while sitting in the cart. Make shopping a learning experience by asking him what color an item is or what number is on the sign. Let him help put things into the cart (you hand it to him and he drops it in the cart) and let him help you at checkout by handing him things to hand to the checker. This way he becomes involved in what you are doing and will be distracted somewhat from the candy in the checkout line!
2006-07-04 12:54:17 · answer #2 · answered by rianon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of a 19 month old, I feel your pain! He's entering into the terrible twos, and unfortunately, the best option here is to pick him up, set him in the cart, and ignore it. Once he sees that this behaviour gets him nothing, he will start to cease and desist. It does NOT happen over night.
As for the 4 hour flight, hopefully it is around his naptime. If not, be sure to give him some dramamene or other sleep aid (approved for use in toddlers, mind you! Your doctor can help you select one). Give it to him right before take off. Also, did you buy him his own seat? If not, let the flight attendant know, and she'll likely try to find out if there are any spare seats next to one another available, once the flight has boarded. Be sure to bring his favorite toys too.
2006-07-04 13:22:45 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica Murphy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly normal at that age (I went through it twice but not as bad) but have you spoilt him a lot in the past? Do you always say "yes" and never "no"?. Basically he knows this is the way to get what he wants so he does it to make you give in. A bit drastic for a baby I know but they're not stupid! It's down to survival instincts I reckon. The best thing to do would be to ignore him and make him stay there as long as it takes until he learns. When he knows he's not going to get what he wants he'll soon get bored and grow out of it. Reward him for good behaviour once a week or something. Unfortunately you have to be strict (but kind and loving of course) from an early age or they'll have you running rings round them! (Also more likely to be a bit of a rebel as they grow up). Being a lone parent must be hard but it's no excuse to substitute the lack of his father with endless treats. Your love is all he needs.
2006-07-04 12:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
20 months. hmm. Terrible twos a little early.
My favorite thing to do for a temper tantrum is to step over the child as if it were a completely normal thing and keep walking. Ok. you don't walk too far, and never let them out of your sight, but don't directly look at them. After about 6 feet the kid realizes that this particular ploy isn't working, stops, gets up, and wanders on over to you to try to charm you out of whatever he wants. Let the charming work.
If you kowtow to the temper tantrum or even pay attention to it, you are encouraging that behavior. If you ignore it, they will have to learn some other method. Let them find one which you can live with and encourage that a little more.
This is something that all (ok, most) kids do. It is completely normal, and a phase they go through.
2006-07-04 12:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by drslowpoke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spare the rod and spoil the child. If hes a boy -to grow up as a man- then you need to train him and make him a man. It is really bad that a lady train a man alone without the conpotment of a man. So please remarry to save this boy.
In my area, any child trained by a woman often finds it difficult to get a spouse because we are certain that some aspect of life training are missing
You dont give a child everything he/she wants. A female is understandable and in reality they ask for less and less troublesome- ie the female.
You curb a male excesses, otherwise you'd spoil them. a proverb goes, can you love your child to allow him play with your private part? So train him and not spoil him. Reason with his demand and for now he takes only what you can give and whats good for him. Say you the mum.
On the flight thing, i feel you are already seeing the effect of overpampering. You are not afraid of him but the nuisance he can cause you in public. You just have to live with it and learn from it to know how to curb it successfully.
He is a house to be built, so build him good for all to commend.
2006-07-10 06:22:04 · answer #6 · answered by mikail 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what you are going through it can be hard,i have a boy of 17 months and his temper is really bad when he does not get what he wants or if something is taken off him,it can be a nightmare shopping,he actually turns red with temper,what we have start doing is stopping him getting his own way,letting him cry until he brings his self out of the temper,i think when u r flying you should make sure you have books and sing nursery rhymes to him,also let him sit at the window if possible good luck
2006-07-11 06:57:50 · answer #7 · answered by theblackwitch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tantrums are normal and unfortunately, they will continue for some time. If you give him what he wants every time you shop, he learns that crying works and will continue. If you hold your ground and refuse to reward his behavior, eventually he will stop. Be strong & know that most of the people around you that have children have faced the same situation while shopping.
2006-07-04 12:53:13 · answer #8 · answered by Stacy S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say that this is a preview to the terrible two's, remain dignified, don't loose your temper,and stay calm and remember you never see a good looking 25 year old man do the same so they do grow out of it eventually, and it's sooner than 25 years in most cases...
2006-07-09 15:41:10 · answer #9 · answered by thalia_marks'swife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quite normal my oldest started at 18 months!!!
whatever you do dont give in to his screaming ( i know that is hard i have 3 kids one with special needs) if you give in to his screaming and give him what he wants you are only teaching him to scream and he will continue to do
stay as calm as you can with him ( again i know that is not easy)
if you have his pushchair with you you can put him in that till he calms down it may help to teach him and also means you know where he is ( he cant go running off in a temper)
also give him as little attention as possible when he is having a tantrum or mis behaving and give him lots of praise when he is good or does make a fuss when he does not get his own way
hopefully this should help reduce the tantrums as he will learn that to get attention he needs to be good/well behaved
good luck
this stage will pass
2006-07-04 14:30:05 · answer #10 · answered by mumoftheyear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋