A small close group of friends since high school always get together to take each friend out to dinner for their birthday. Each friend has always chosen relatively reasonable priced sites. However, this year one girl has chosen a 4star site. Her family is rich (compared to us) but that has never bothered us/her. Still nicknamed princess, we're all good friends but we all have relatively simple incomes. She does too. However, we believe she should repick a restaurant relative to what we're all used to instead of picking the 4 star one. How do we get her to figure out common sense? She's already come up with "well it's my birthday and if we're good friends then why can't we go to my choice of restaurant" question. How do we reply? We're tore between the special occasion, income, and friendships.
2006-07-04 05:25:25 · 16 answers · asked by David S 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Flatly tell her that she is being inconsiderate. It sounds like you've already tried to approach this situation with tact, and were met with her spoiled, rude and thoughtless response. Now is the time to put your foot down. You've given her the chance to show she has some common sense. Let her know that although picking the restaurant has been the birthday guy/girl's choice traditionally, everyone has chosen a place within reason, considering that everyone's financial situations are different and won't accommodate a high-end affair. Let her know that she should change the venue, or you'll celebrate without her. It's that simple. SHE is the one who is not being a good friend and don't allow her to guilt trip you into shelling out more than is reasonable or than you can afford.
2006-07-04 07:06:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 1⤋
TRUTH; Just explain that everybody has a money limit for the occasion and if she insist on going there she will have to pay the difference. I have found that it is better to get things like this over with quick. If you linger you will get talked into it and hate yourself the next day. If it is a good friend ship she will understand and if she doesn't, Well nothing lost.
Before the next birthday set a limit on the amount of spend for each occasion.
Perry
2006-07-04 12:38:34 · answer #2 · answered by perrynute1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell her simply: I just can't afford it. Then decide to go to the fancy restaurant just for desserts, and have dinner somewhere else. My husband and I have done that a few times, particularly when we're travelling and would like to go to a nice restaurant but don't have reservations and so on. Dropping in for dessert is a lot simpler. And you still get to be all dressed up and whatnot. If she says again that it's "her birthday," you just have to repeat that you can't afford it. There's not much to argue about there.
2006-07-04 13:52:16 · answer #3 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to be honest with her. Try something like "It's your birthday and you deserve to enjoy it, but I/we just can't afford a dinner like this." Then have another suggestion ready. Maybe going there for lunch (usually MUCH cheaper) or just drinks and dessert would work. If not, find a similar restaurant that the rest of you can afford. Friendships are priceless, but reality has to come into play, too.
2006-07-04 15:46:59 · answer #4 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are all good "friends" you should just be honest with her and tell her that in the best interest of "all" a less expensive restaurant will be a better choice. However, it is a special occassion and maybe, just this once, you all should splurge and forget about pinching pennies this one time. Who knows, you may want to treat yourselves more often in the future!
2006-07-04 12:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by Primrose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that is kind of embarrasing but be honest. Tell her that you AND the group do not have the budget for that kind of restaurant. If she is a true friend, she won't mind changing. Trust me. If she is a spoiled brat/monster, forget about her and let her celebrate her birthday on her own rich way.
2006-07-04 16:31:52 · answer #6 · answered by Art The Wise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to choose this approach: You have not said what your age is, but don't you all laugh it up when you get together? Loud laughing and squeals may not go over well in her fancy restuarant. Convince her of this and suggest a place where you could have more fun without getting snide looks from the other customers.
2006-07-04 13:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by Blue Eyed Baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she were a true friend she would understand your situation. When you are all together just tell her to down size her request from the Ritz to say The Outback.
Food is food whether it cost $100 a person or $20 a person, but times are tough....she'll understand.
Good luck.
2006-07-04 12:34:49 · answer #8 · answered by uma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go to the 4 star restaurant ....
but just meet for desserts.
Someone needs to explain to her that the restaurant is beyond everyone's means for the full course deal, but would love to experience the ambience of restaurant and celebrate her birthday there.
If she is truly your friend, she should understand.
2006-07-04 12:33:03 · answer #9 · answered by Wisdomwoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go along with it and then whoever has the next birthday can sock it to her and she will have to pay...yousaid although her family is rich her income is comparable to yours right? and after ayear of this and she has to help pay for several expensive dinners for the 1 dinner she got she will see the error of her ways
2006-07-04 12:41:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋