a man is with me, he should light my cigarettes for me without my asking...correct? If he fails to volunteer, is it my job to inform him that it is his obligation to light my ciagarette for me.? some guys seem to have no manners these day, and I have to ask, why is this?
2006-07-04 04:55:45 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If they dont volunteer you shouldnt ask, unless you dont have a lighter, it is not our obligation to light the ladies cigarrettes, specially if we dont know them.
2006-07-04 05:00:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think that you have been moulded to conform to the sexual stereotypes of how men and women should behave? The very thing that activist feminists have been trying to get rid of for decades so that we, as women, have equal rights in the workplace and in society in general. I suppose when you get married, which undoubtably is the only aspiration you must have in life, you will stay at home and run around after your husband and master and do exactly whatever he wishes whenever he wishes it?? ................................ No??? I thought not!! You should go and buy yourself a cool zippo lighter and browse the section on gender and power in your local bookstore whilst you are out! Then you will feel empowered and you can also light up your own ciggie!!
2006-07-04 05:06:16 · answer #2 · answered by Tatsbabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband, a non smoker, always lights my cigarette for me, as do any other men I might be with (my Colleagues for instance), a man has never preceded me through a door, nor do I ever open my car door when accompanied. It may be cultural (I'm English) or it may be that men treat Ladies like Ladies. Be charming, polite and kind but ALWAYS expect a man to treat you with the respect you deserve.
2006-07-04 09:20:45 · answer #3 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was always flattered when a gentleman would like my cigarette for me, but they are under no obligation to do so. With the world so full of people that no longer smoke, this is one that went out in the 80's.
2006-07-11 02:31:48 · answer #4 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A true gentleman will most likely offer IF he smokes and has a lighter or matches.
A true lady will never ask a gentleman for a light unless she genuinely does not have one, and she will never take it upon herself to inform anyone of their obligations, be it lighting cigarettes, holding doors, or holding your coat for you when you go to put it on.
If you are bothered by men not offering you a light, you can get your cigarette out, and pause for a moment as you "search" your purse for a light. If he does not take the hint, just "find" your lighter, and light your cigarette yourself. But never remind a man of what you expect him to do. That is considered tremendously rude.
Oh, I almost forgot! Never underestimate the power of a nice feminine Zippo with your initials engraved on it. They make taller thinner ones now that are ideal for women. Mine has beautiful engraved vines and flowers on it, as well as my initials. I never wait for a man to offer me a light, but I find they frequently ask politely, "May I?" just so they can play with my lighter :)
2006-07-04 05:10:38 · answer #5 · answered by Bronwen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me? WOW!
I work with guys all day, and we all go out on the smoking deck at work. They are usually asking ME for a lighter. Personally, I don't like it when someone else lights my cigarette because ... actually, I don't know why. I just don't. If they offer, it's only polite of me to let them, however.
No, it is not your job to inform them. It is your job to carry your own lighter, and if you do not have one, ask to borrow one and light it yourself.
2006-07-04 05:26:13 · answer #6 · answered by Aussie Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men don't know that they are supposed to light your cigarette for you. Femminism has crushed the Polite Society completely ( i.e holding doors for ladies, ordering meals for ladies, essentialy doing everything for a lady so she doesn't have to do anything except entertain the rest of the party) so no that bit of etiquite is quite out of fashion.
2006-07-04 05:03:18 · answer #7 · answered by Democestes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are not obligated to light your cigarettes. Opening doors and being courteous, yes, but lighting cigarettes? Come on, lady. If you are too incompetent to light your own cigarette, then don't smoke. If a man offers, then that's fine, but please don't push us females back any farther with trivial things like this.
2006-07-04 05:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by nacsilver85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, tina tight pants, probably the ones who don't want to light your cigarettes are non-smokers.
also, they've been taught never to talk to strangers, so they may be shy.
unless you mean someone on a date with you? not sure by what you meant by "in my presence" as this would include anyone within a certain radius of your personal space??
or maybe they are just distracted by your tight pants!
i wouldn't worry about it, though, buy a good lighter and be an independent woman!
2006-07-04 05:01:13 · answer #9 · answered by alter_tygo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the man smokes then he should certainly light your cigarette. But if he does not, then light your own.
Whether it is 2006 or 1906 good manners do NOT change.
2006-07-04 05:01:47 · answer #10 · answered by majorcavalry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you also ask men to lay their cloaks over a mud puddle so that you may step dry footed into your carriage. and after dropping your handkerchief in front of a man on purpose do you ask him to pick it up and give it back.
really you watch too many 1940's movies,
this is the age of liberated women. we open our own doors and everything. And a mannerly man will respect that.
It is rude of you to expect 'service' from someone who is neither your husband, your son or your paid butler.
what is worst Pointing out what you perceive to be someone Else's lack of manners in such a public way is the worst sort of Rudeness on your part.
2006-07-04 05:13:51 · answer #11 · answered by Syberian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋