how much can one woman take?

Question

I have been with this guy for almost 4 years now. Our realtionship started out a lil rocky but we are still together and still trying to work things out in this relationship. Early on in the relationship, I found out from one of his relatives that he had a baby on the way. But, he waited two years to come clean about the whole thing. He had met me while he was still living with his baby momma. She got pregnant the same month we met. Last year, he just told me that he just stopped messing with her in 2004 (while we were 2 years into OUR relationship) We worked things out even after all this. Then came the drama. His baby momma started acting crazy (breaking into his house, pouring bleach on his clothes, stabbing him with a knife,)I've tried my best to b patient wit this situation. Last month his baby mom gave birth to a new baby boy. She says its his..he says its not. His whole family says its his...But i STILL LOVE HIM and I want us to work.. what am i to do

I wish it was so easy to walk away. but, even though we have these problems, we have a good relationship

Answer 1

I'm not gonna be the one to tell you what to do about situations like that. But you've really gotta look at the situation as a whole. If you've been with somebody for four years and you've struggled through all of that, maybe it's time for the love to take over and really start making some progress. For instance, this whole situation with the baby's mother. Somebody's going to have to step across the line and say "look, we've got to come to some kind of agreement where we agree to disagree about what happened but we've got to find some peace and put the children first" Because out of the whole situation, that's what worries me the most is that there's all this violence and craziness going on and there are children in the picture. As far as your relationship, there are gonna be people that'll tell you to leave him because he's no good and you don't need him and so on and so forth. I'd tell you that, but I've grown to find out that people tend to do what they want in a relationship, and I don't know the whole story. The love may be deep rooted or there may be other reasons why you wanna stay with him. In a relationship where there's that much infidelity, you really have to question who takes priority in this relationship. Meaning do you guys value each other's well being before your own. I don't know what to advise you, except for to think, look at the signs and ask yourself "when I make my decision, will I be happy?" Make sure whatever you do, the end result is your ultimate, long term happiness. And chin up, you've got your life ahead of you, so enjoy huh?

Answer 2

Hey there is a show for this"Jerry" ring a bell, sorry for that, I am a guy and you have come this far, get a test done and see if he is the father of this second child. If he is run in the opposite direction and start your life anew. Yes, you have made leaps and bounds to get past the first child that he lied about. But when is it enough and how long do you have to suffer, has he suffered, yeah bleach on his clothes and a knife wound. He can buy new clothes and his knife wound will heal, your scars will last forever, they may fade in time but it will still be there. Get that test done, if he doesn't agree to it then you have your answer, he is the father or he doesn't care for you as much as you thought. Good luck.

Answer 3

I know its hard to let go of someone you realy love, but the thing is he lied and about something that is a big deal. im sure you can find another guy that will treat you better, lying is a big deal, trust is what it is al about without that you will have problems in your relationship, i know.The thing is you need to figure out is this realy what you wanna put up with. Come on girl i know you can do better, let him go he is only gona cause you even more problems.

Answer 4

Why would you think you love him? Is this kind of treatment what you deserve? Do you think this is all there is for you? You need to start liking yourself, so that YOU can move on. Look, since he cheated on HER with YOU, then what did you expect? Did you REALLY think he would be faithful to YOU? NO, he never will be. Never. Ever. Never. So, until you can believe this, then you are doomed to be the third party. He is in heaven....knowing that two women want him, and are both so foolish over him. He is having a great time playing you BOTH, and playing with these precious babies feelings. He is a crappy father, for sure! Why would ANY girl want a man who can't be faithful, can't be honest, and won't be a man of honor for his children? Quit whining and dump him! There are too many foolish women like you out here. Why won't you allow yourself to be one of the smarter chicks? No penis is THAT good! Not unless it is connected to a man who knows how to be honest, kind, and monogomous.

Answer 5

That's a lot of **** to go through. For one thing, it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is always completely honest with you. Second, he now has a baby that may or may not be (but probably is) his responsibility. If things are rocky with his ex, things are bound to stay rocky for a while. It might help to cool it a little bit and let him figure things out... or just try to be as supportive as possible. Understand that he is going through a lot of crap, and he will probably be really appreciative if you are calm and you stick with him patiently. I know it's going to be hard, but eventually things will smooth out and you'll figure out what works. Good luck.

Answer 6

first off if this girl went ape sh'it and did all the stuff to him she should be in jail or in a mental hospital. They best way to determine if this baby is his is to have a paternity test. You need to stop kidding yourself and realize that he possible cheated on you (if this kid is his). That is not love. You are too good to be treated like this. You need to have some respect for yourself and make sure you are confident enough in your self before you decide if you can give him a second chance or not. He needs to prove him self to you. This is something that can't be taken lightly.

Answer 7

Girl your getting walked all over,your like a doormat.You tell your man that he needs to get a restraining order against his ex-so that she will leave you all alone,You tell him that you want proof that the new baby is not his,and you have to tell him that your being understanding but he needs to sort out all his **** because it is interfering in your relationship!Do something,otherwise it's goin to stay this way!You say you love him,but what about yourself?? You need to also do whats best for you,respect yourself!

Answer 8

You have already wasted 4 years on him. His family tried to warn you, but you wouldn't listen. Do yourself a favor and get away from him. Your relationship has been nothing but lies. You can find someone else, don't continue to let him use you.

Answer 9

u should say to him to have parental test if that's his baby and he don't admit it you should live him
u can find some1 who is 4 U
there are other people on this planet and they r waiting 4 u

Answer 10

Demand a paternity test. If the baby is his, then he is a LOSER. Leave immediately and do not look back.