Does being a good father damage your career?

Question

This is the title of an article published in The Observer Magazine a few weeks ago. Who among you relates and how is that true for you?

I should probably add that I expect answers from men who have experienced it... What about paternity leave? What about leaving work to take care of a sick child? How will it be seen? Do you still expect your partners to do it?

I'm really quite surprised at the quantity of answers by women and the quantity of answers by people who haven't experienced it. Women have their problems and their priorities (believe me, I know), but that was not my question. I was looking for men who had experienced something like that. That article was really quite insightful and it rose real questions.

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/woman/story/0,,1792138,00.html

I'm shocked that we can't be more sensitive to such matters.

Answer 1

As a father, I found that a good work/life balance helped me deal with my son and spend more time with him...

If you have young children, it is important to get that balance right, but it also means some sacrifice at work... Because I went part-time, recruitment agencies refused to have anything to do with me... But now I'm back full-time, they are clammering...

So there are ups and downs...

Answer 2

I'm not a father, so I can't really say, but I would have to say no, because I could pretty much replace "father" with any other word (like friend, boyfriend, etc) and I would come to the same result: while making another aspect of your life the central focus MAY result in having to make sacrifices in the progress of your career, it is very possible to be a good dad/friend/husband/boyfriend and STILL maintain a very successful career. So while I highly doubt that being a good dad could get you fired, it might postpone that promotion you've been waiting for.

Answer 3

it depends on your career. some careers require a lot or time and effort, and being a good father also requires a lot of time (among other things) so there can be several conflicts arising, unless you are able to be 2 places at once all the time. Even when you've worked all day, and you come home tired, it affects your relationships with your kids as well.

so yes, unless by career you mean something like walmart as a sales clerk..

Answer 4

Your marriage and your family should always come first and it will keep you strong. Your mind is more free to think when you are happy and devoted as a whole. It makes children sad when mom or dad are not around to observe their talents and encouraging them along the way. So if your career takes first place over your family, and your family life and marriage are suffering as a result, parents should rethink their position in their career. A healthy marriage and family should be the biggest motivator.

Answer 5

If you wish to be a good father, you need to spend enough time with your child to build up a close and loving relationship. However, unless you are extremely rich, you have to work, therefore, it is important to teach a child and show, by example, the importance to you and your family of gainful employment.
The answer to this question depends upon various factors, for example, your employers and their attitude, the type of career, are you a single parent family and so on and so on.
A simplistic question, really.

Answer 6

You shouldn't let it affect your career. Your wife or partner should be your buffer between your work & home. As a father you are expected to miss sports days & end of term performances, but mum will be there on your behalf. Just try & make the odd event!!

Answer 7

I would say NO. BUT I have to ask where is there a connection between being a father and working?
UNLESS of course they are saying that you devote so much time on the job that it does effect your family. OR that you devote so much time to your family then you start missing work. IN which case yes.

Answer 8

I wouldnt say so... it dents your social life but it shouldnt damage your career (unless you're in a job that expects 24 hours a day service and this would damage all aspects of your life)

Its worth it though to be a dad

Answer 9

being a good father is a great and outstanding responsibility and not all men have the mentality to be a good father and manage a job, if you can do both with no to littile interference to your career and personal life i applaud you, for like i said not many of us men can do that

Answer 10

Being a father should automatically be more important than your career. Fatherhood is the most important career a man can have. If it damages your career, then you have chosen the wrong profession.