she wont let go of him . every sentance is about her dad.
2006-07-04 01:46:44 · 14 answers · asked by Kara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Honey, it's only been four months. It is not surprising that "every sentence" is about her father. She will miss him until the day SHE dies. His death will form her a little differently than she would have been, had he lived. This will be a part of her and you need to adjust to that.
However, do not miss the opportunity to be a good friend to her. There is nothing you CAN say - nothing that will make any difference. However, saying nothing WILL register and register negatively. You can only say how sorry you are - put your arms around her and continue to be there for her. (Be there to listen to every sentence be about her dad - she needs to be heard! Over and over again.) It may be a year or more before there is anything resembling a normal friendship with her - just don't let her down before then.
2006-07-04 01:56:25 · answer #1 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my dad when I was still in high school. It's not easy to lose a parent. Your friend talking about her dad so much is normal. In some ways the loss might not seem real to her yet. The best thing you can do as a friend is to just be there. During the 1st year after a loss it is so hard. You have the 1st birthday w/o them, all the holidays w/o them. Just let her talk. If you really want to help, you might want to create a memory book for her. See what pictures you can dig up of her dad. I'm sure someone in her family would help. Put as much information as you can in it so she has somewhere to go when she's really missing him and is afraid of forgetting him.
2006-07-04 03:43:35 · answer #2 · answered by jsewinsky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how sorry you are that she has lost her father and then listen. That is the only thing you can do. If you knew her father you could share stories with her about things her father had done (my friend lost her father before her wedding and she and I had a long talk shortly after that where we spent a lot of time talking about her dad and the silly things he used to do to make us laugh). When she cries hold her and let her cry - don't tell her it will be okay - she knows this and has heard it too much already, just let her cry and if you feel like it you can cry with her. A burden shared is halved.
2006-07-04 02:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will never let go...but there will come a time when every sentance won't be about her dad. For now just let her talk...Listen with not only your ears but with your heart.
2006-07-04 01:58:57 · answer #4 · answered by Ma-B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to her, so what if you "mess up"? the important thing is that you are there for her. When my Ma passed, my best friend had me write a letter to her tell her everything I ever meant to say and didn't get a chance to, she tied it to a balloon and let it go. To this day, on the anniversary, I write a letter and send it skyward. It helps.
2006-07-04 01:52:09 · answer #5 · answered by Grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the way people sometimes grieve a loss.
She's processing ... and thats so important.
She will let go in time. She's lucky to have a friend like you.
The best thing to do, in response is to agree, to echo emotions,
and to understand.
It's hard to lose a daddy...he's the fixer of things, the giver of hugs, the maker of moments...
Sometimes saying goodbye can be done beautifully in a letter.
In this letter she can share her heart...and maybe leave it at his grave sight for him to read.
It takes time...and her heart will heal.
..and she doesn't necessarily have to let go now...
Good luck to both of you
2006-07-04 02:00:03 · answer #6 · answered by Warrior 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. There are five steps to the grieving process. Look them up maybe that will give you some help. You are a great friend to seek advice on this. So hug her when she needs a hug and let her know you are there for her.
2006-07-04 02:09:12 · answer #7 · answered by my1rnf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just leave her its a hard thing to lose a parent when my father died I went nuts for a while started fights for no reasons punched out glass windows after a while i calmed down everyone handles it diffrently she will stop soon just as a friend always be there for her or try to change hte suject by starting some kind of thing t o do
2006-07-04 01:51:31 · answer #8 · answered by OZoNE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them yuo are sorry about their loss and offer LOTS of your time to help with the things they will not have time for like, food, house cleaning, watching a pet, driving them around. Bottom line, just be there for them
2006-07-04 01:52:01 · answer #9 · answered by miomanman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her talk, she needs to talk about her father, and she might be afraid of forgetting him. If she seems unable to move past this stage of grieving, talk to an adult you trust about seeing a therapist. That can help a lot.
2006-07-04 01:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by slackster1998 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋