My best friend kicked her 14 yr old daughter who found out that she was pregnant out of the house and told her to find somewhere else to live coz she wasnt having a "slut" living in her house. My friend has never been like this and I have no idea what to do.. I have given the girl a home in my home. And she has her own room and all her stuff is in there but I dont know what else I can do... PLS HELP....
2006-07-04 00:32:50 · 19 answers · asked by Ammie J 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The girl is 6 months pregnant. she is keeping the baby and I told her that she can live with me for as long as she needs to. She is still at school. And I will look after her and the baby for as long as I need to help her get back on her feet. She looks after my 6 yr old daughter when I am at work. I work from home as a youth counsellor. I just need to know am I doing something wrong by giving her a place to stay.
2006-07-04 01:02:44 · update #1
no you are not when i was young and pregnant i was kicked out of my house and had know were to go and it was hard for me at lease she has you at this time she needs some one to help her get through things i wish i did.
2006-07-04 12:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by baby 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Question? How old was the mother when she found out when she was pregnant, before the 14 years old was pregnant. Usually signs will tell about how the daughter's mother was when she was young. I say no she should not of kick her daughter out of the house, just because she was pregnant. If any of my friends was like that. Hell I would call the cops and let them handle the problem. I would help the 14 years old out. There are ways to handle that problem. If the daughter thinks that she is not ready to have a child to be brought in the world. She can find a family to adopt your baby. How was the life style between these two ladies. If the mother have never told her daughter about the birds and the bees. I say with this matter of problem, should be the mothers fault for not saying anything to make sure that a young mother should be like this. Why don't you help the daughter though her pregnancy. So what if your best friend gets mad at you for helping her daughter. If the mother can't, than she is no best friend for you to talk to all.
2006-07-04 08:51:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your friend - she needs some time to deal with it, but she has to realize that kicking a pregnant 14 year old out on the street is not such a good move. The girl made a mistake (hopefully it was a mistake), but she could end up much worse (drugs, prostitution, DEAD) if left on her own!!
Make sure she knows that the girl is with you (don't keep it a secret). Is there a father anywhere (the one who got the girl pregnant or even her own father)? Is she keeping the baby?
I don't know if there is much else you can do until the baby is born. Many times the new grandparents accept the fact once the baby is born.
2006-07-04 07:41:34 · answer #3 · answered by Andrea F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have done great, and I hope you can manage to keep doing so. You really are a best friend! not only to the mom, but to the daugher.
Next step is to make sure that the girl
- gets medical attention and regular check ups
- keeps up with school
- if possible plans a future, up to the delivery (she may like a baby names book) and after
- she realized that there are choices, such as abortion, adoption or keeping the baby - or others
- gets a bit of serenity. it is a very difficult time
you should also keep your door open for the mom. SHe may come down a bit, and realize what stupid reaction she is having. The little girl (14 is sooo young!!!) needs all the TLC that can be afforded. Her mom should be there for her, and legally still has responsabilities, no matter what the girl has done.
Is the father of the girl around? would he consider taking her in for a bit? and, is the baby's father around? all things to consider.
2006-07-04 07:42:38 · answer #4 · answered by OneLilithHidesAnother 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, what a tough situation to be in. Being pregnant at any age is something the some people struggle with. At her age it will be an imense job for her to do on her own. Congratulations for taking her in, You are a truly amazing friend. Being there to help her no matter what, you will have some troubles yourself. Looking after your daughter and her and her baby will take alot out of you but it will be worth it in the end. Keep up the awesome work and keep in touch and us know how it goes.
2006-07-04 08:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother took in my best friend in the same situation.
You are not doing anything wrong. The situation she has gotten herself into can't be reversed. She will need a lot of guidance, and help to raise this child and be sure that she takes the right path for her future. If her mother can't or won't do it, you can't turn your back on her. Everyone makes mistakes.
Just remember, you don't want to enable her to live a careless lifestyle, and she is still very young. Don't let her take advantage of you, and keep a close eye on her.
Good Luck.
2006-07-05 11:52:39 · answer #6 · answered by MOMof2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation. Your friend has some issues and without knowing the people involved and what led up to the current status, I feel it would be difficult for me to advise. You friend will come around in time. The daughter needs to realize that her mother will just have to adjust. Whatever the mother did (or didn't do) helped lead her daughter down that path and she needs to come to grips with her part in this play. Mistakes are going to be made and forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. The mother needs to forgive herself and her daughter, own up to the responsibility for her part and then help take care of her daughter. If 14 year olds were not to have children, then biology wouldn't allow it. You're such a caring friend to risk your relationship to care for someone who has gotten themselves in a pickle. can you talk to your friend and help her to move forward on a path of healing behavior for the ske of herself, her daughter, and her unborn grandchild?
2006-07-04 07:44:46 · answer #7 · answered by TN Seeker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is where tough love comes in she's 14 its time for her to be an adult about her life now because she has a child on the way...so i would say dont make everything to easy for her cause if you do as soon as that baby is born she'll be pregnant again before you know it...and by taking her into your home you bring all her baggage too...( her attitude, things she do that her mom dont know about, etc) so just show her love and give her kind true words
2006-07-04 07:43:21 · answer #8 · answered by LifeWater 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the authorities and tell them this underage girl was kicked out of her home. I understand this woman is your friend, but what she's doing isn't right and isn't legal.
A 14 year old cannot make decsions about her life, and that of the unborn childs, and most likely doesn't know all her options.
She needs someone to explain to her what she's in for and what she can do.
It's nice of you to offer her help though.
2006-07-04 07:40:27 · answer #9 · answered by deb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did a very brave thing, this young child did a bad thing for sure, but expelling her out of her home isn't the solution, try calmly and wisely to put some sense into your best friend's mind, coz after all that is her child, her birth, and for sure she worked hard to raise her, and at the first (big) problem she throws her out? that has no sense.
2006-07-04 07:39:30 · answer #10 · answered by Nader 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are awesome for taking her in! That may be all you can do for now. Just give it some time and maybe her mother will come to her senses. It's a little late to be punishing this poor girl, she needs alot of support right now! Good Luck and God Bless!
2006-07-04 07:40:02 · answer #11 · answered by Punky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋